For the second or third year running, I will be watching the Oscars having not seen a single film nominated in a major category. Not even "Wallace and Grommit
". Unless Harry Potter 4 is in the "Best Movie Franchise Ever" category, my familiarity with any of the honored films is based on how often I saw commercials for it during "Gilmore girls".
I love the movies, I just don't go to the theater that much anymore. We operate by a "big screen" methodology and frankly, the screen at home and the surround-sound that go with it has begun to seriously cut into what we consider a "big screen film". Briefly, though, explosions are usually involved, Colin Firth is not. I don't have to be the first one on the block to see a film and am almost always content to wait until it comes out on DVD. Which it will soon enough. And that is why God created Netflix
-Oscar jabbering can be summed up thusly
: movie theater attendance is down, none of the nominated films were "blockbusters" (because merely recouping production costs and turning a profit isn't a real "success" by Hollywood standards) and the big pictures this year are all super political. Which surprises me as I don't think of Johnny and June Cash as activists. Guess I'll understand when I finally see "Walk the Line". Oh, and because of all this and other related conditions, no one is going to watch the Oscars tonight.
But I'll be there. I love Oscar night. I will manage to get excited even though I have no feelings whatsoever about any of the films. We will have the veggie tortilla lasagna
I make every year (not glamorous but really yummy). I will fill out the ballot in the newspaper, as will The Spouse, and at some point this evening I will be in the bathroom privately delivering my own Oscar speech to the mirror.
I did a little acting: student body plays from 3rd through 8th
grade, chorus for "Finian's
Rainbow" freshman year of high school. And junior
year I played Annie, the nervous maid in "Life with Father". Not to brag but I owned that part and when, at the end of the year Thespian Troupe 827 held it's annual awards, I walked away with Best Supporting Actress. In college I dated a guy in the drama department.
So I have had occasion
to compose my Oscar speech and I know most of you have one, too. In recent years mine has to do with an original or adapted screenplay and I share the honor with Emma Thompson. How this happens, since I don't write fiction or know Emma Thompson, is not the point. Wearing a fabulous gown and remembering to thank The Spouse while trying not to cry, is.
The other buzz tonight is about Jon Stewart as emcee. Do I think he can handle the switch from satiric political commentary to hosting Hollywood's biggest night? Maybe. Will he look fabulous in a tux? Absolutely.
So here are my purely subjectives picks for Oscars:
Best Picture: "Brokeback
I just love a good Western.
Best Direction: Ang
Although to be honest with you, "Sense and Sensibility" put me to sleep (and that's saying something for a Jane Austin fan) so maybe I have to rethink this.
Leading Actor: Heath Ledger.
I've heard that Philip Seymour Hoffman is amazing as Truman Capote but here's the thing: I think there should be two acting categories: one for playing a known character and one for creating
a character. Because I don't really think they are the same thing. And I loved Heath in "A Knight's Tale". Where he also kisses a man on the mouth. I'm just saying.
Supporting Actor: George Clooney
Because I heart him.
Leading Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Because she is just a cutie patootie
and I heart her, too. Also, because Judi Dench
seems to get Oscars thrown at her just for showing up at the makeup trailer and I grow weary of that. Not her. Love her. But sheesh
, let someone else win for a change.
Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz
Because a) she's a cutie patootie
and 2) I think her character was supposed to be romantically involved with Ralph Fiennes
' character and having to kiss Ralph Fiennes
and act like you mean it would take serious acting chops.
Oh, joy. I was just reviewing all the categories. "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" was nominated for Costume Design and "Revenge of the Sith
" for Make-up. HA! I've seen those.
Labels: Harry Potter