I Designed that First

We have 6 designers left and only 2 of them are boys. And the 2 boys in question do not, imho, have what it takes to go all the way, Fashion-week-wise. This is the point where neither Logan's hotness nor Christopher's, uh, spunky attitude (?) will do anything to save them. One (more) bad design and either one is "auwt". And meanwhile, the girls are all having a "we're all girls and why aren't there more big designers who are women because women know how to dress women" conversation. Doesn't really matter this time around...clearly at least 2 of 'em are going to Fashion Week.

The designers meet Heidi, with their backs to the runway. They hear rustling and then Heidi tells them to turn around. There on the runway are their best looks. In the case of all the designers but 1, it is a winning look. (Logan, you'll recall, hasn't won any challenge. The judges just picked what they considered his best look). The challenge, which we think is quite intriguing, is to create a companion piece to that winning look.

Irina takes a moment to bitch that there are "2 people here who should already be gone". I assume she means the boys. Unless she means one of the boys + Gordana. Either way, it's the first of her snarks for the evening.

The designers have 30 minutes to sketch, a $100 budget and until midnight to complete the look. We see some very lovely sketches and then the camera lingers on Christopher's sketch pad. Remember, he has no prior fashion experience. His drawing is reflective of that. "Wow, that's puffy and weird," I say.

Carol Hannah feels compelled, for strategic reasons, to do a pant as she worries that her penchant for dresses will be viewed as limited. But she's not really feeling it and at Mood The Gunn counsels her that "to be über creative you need to be in something of a comfort zone". Which I found very interesting because one assumes that getting away from the comfort zone is the spur to creativity. But he has a point, because he is the Gunn and so Carol Hannah decides to make a dress after all. She's still floundering a bit back in the workroom, so after laying out all her fabric she goes for coffee.

Irina makes slitty eyes at Carol Hannah. Then she blathers about how she's going for a companion look to her Aspen ensemble that could"go to work" and look "clean and polished". She also totally rips off the "sitting in a ski lodge sipping champagne" line from last week. Because she likes us to think she's all that and a bag of fat-free chips.

Althea riffs off the paper bag waist from the skirt of her winning look, making a pant with similar silhouette. Logan's comments provoke a Malvin flashback. (mmmmm....omelets). Althea is not amused.

There is, in fact, much tension and biting of lips as all the designers do the "1 out of 6" math.

Did you know that Gordana was a Bosnian Serb?

The Neighbor informs me that Cake told her that Logan said that he wasn't on a lot of the interview clips because he refused to snark about the other designers. Oddly, tonight is the one time he seems to be doing nothing but. First the Malvin thing and then he confides that he looks at Christopher's dress and sees "volume, volume, volume...but it looks cheap to me". (And there would be a reason for that. Christopher bought 30 yards of white fabric for the oomph of his gown. But I'm assuming he used a lining fabric because, according to my fabulous friend Tanya, Mood is way expensive...fabrics average between $10-$15 a yard and go up from there. So you do the math. $100 at Mood wouldn't begin to buy you 30 yards of anything BUT lining. You're welcome).

The Gunn's Walk Around
Carol Hannah is fussing with her fabric and tells Tim that it's a "big scary mess". "You'll get no argument from me," he says. As they talk, he makes a suggestion about fabric placement and all a sudden Carol Hannah feels she's found her direction. "Now you have a fabulous textile happening," says The Gunn.

Irina has somewhat abandoned her "go to work" thoughts and is making a very tiny dress with a voluminous sweater. She is working with a lovely brocade-y fabric and the dress is stunning. "This is completely unexpected," says The Gunn. "I'm excited about where it could go".

Christopher, who really is terribly clueless and thinks he's going just great, uh, guns, is crushed when Tim says, "Your first look was youthful and exuberant". "This," he says, gesturing to the new work, "looks like her mother". Ouchity ouch. "Rethink the positioning of the appliques," he says. Appliques. That appears to be all Christopher has in his bag of tricks. Put enough gee gaws on a form and maybe the judges will be distracted from the fact that there is no fashion underneath. Oh Christopher. Have you met our judges?

Tim is troubled by Althea's pants. "They look like they are waiting for a diaper," he says. She is going for a juxtaposition between volume and fit but right now the pants aren't helping. I realize as The Gunn walks away that I haven't heard him say "Make it work" in the longest time. Sigh.

Logan is constructing a collar from nothing but zippers. Because they are shiny. And The Gunn says that the concept is "definitely in the 'wow' category". But Althea is completely miffed because she did a similar thing with her Christina Aguilera dress and thinks Logan's ripping off her brilliance.

Gordana and Tim debate the merits of the finish (or lack thereof) on the jacket she's made. She likes how it looks. Tim is dubious but as she debates the point he tells her it's fine so long as she is willing to "stand by it".

As this goes on we are treated to Irina and Althea in the break room stuffing their faces- quite unattractively I might add - with fat-free snacks and dogging Logan. Althea is all "He stole my zipper idea" and Irina is all "He's so not talented and shouldn't even be here" and Althea is all "I can't believe what a rip off he is" and Irina is all "He's only still here because he's good looking" and Althea is all "Can I borrow your biology notes?" Althea has generally been a mellow sweetie pie; that Irina girl is a very bad influence. (That or Althea asked Logan to the prom and he said "no").

Later, Irina pontificates about how she's been looking around the work room and thinks all the designers, her fabulous self excepted, should be very worried. Logan may be...he again dons his shiny pants for the runway show. And The Neighbor notes that he's bowlegged.

As we finish up, Althea is desperate for a hook and eye. Gordana offers her bag to root through and when that proves fruitless Althea turns to Irina, who snubs her. And then Irina spouts my least favorite line of a villain in a reality show: "I'm not here to make friends". We learn, via I-never-dog-anyone Logan that the other designers have taken to calling her "Meana Irina" adding that she needs to be humbled. True that. OH! And then, a little later, Irina is calling Althea a "whiner" behind her back and then proceeds to whine that Althea's sweater is a total rip-off of what Irina won with last week. Two-faced bitch.

The Runway
Heidi welcomes the designers to the runway, wearing a truly unfortunate ensemble. She introduces the judges: Nick Verreos from PR2, Nina and someone named Kelly Washington. Kors must be dead again. As the runway progresses the producers treat us with a side-by-side of each winning look with the new one. This is very helpful because one immediately gets a visceral sense of what works as a companion piece and what does not. And actually, in most cases, we do see the relationship....even if it happens to be horrible.

Nina tells Christopher that his dress looks like a "carnival float", Nick says it needed "editing" and Kerry Who says it "looks like 2 different gowns". MAB just thought it looked like a toilet paper roll cover.

Irina gets more accolades than her big head needs with Nick calling her look "uptown chic". But wait! Reason #412 to love Heidi Klum! Heidi is not loving the fabric and says that it looks "cheap". (Personally, I don't see that but hey, Heidi just let some air outta Irina so whoo hoo!).

Heidi also trashes Gordana's dress & jacket. Kerry says it doesn't look "strong", Nina says it is "dated" and Nick snarks that the model, including her hair, looks like "an office worker in Warsaw, Poland".

Kerry Who deems Carol Hannah's dress "kinda delicious" and the judges all love that this kicky little black party dress has pockets. (I love pockets).

Nina accuses Logan of showing "a student fashion project" and Nick says "it's a little 80's and a little Judy Jetson". He doesn't mean that in a good way.

Everyone raves about Althea's look, particularly the pants, which Heidi calls "genius". But Heidi does throw a little water on the rave-fest when she asks who did the big sweater first, her or Irina. Irina makes hay, saying that some of the other designers seemed to be taking their inspiration from the work of others. Nick cuts her off, noting that such a thing is entirely to be expected under the circumstances. But Irina still tries to throw Althea under the bus.

The Neighbor and I both pick Carol Hannah for the win because we love her dress and because, we admit, we hate Irina and just don't want her to win. We also pick Christopher for the auf but agree that nothing will surprise us aufing wise.

Althea is the winner, however, for her comfortable looking ensemble that every one of the women judges wants to own. Althea delightedly says she'll make them all an outfit. But backstage, she notes precisely what happened with Irina and refuses to attribute the snark to the circumstances. "This is not an issue of stress," she says. "It's an issue of character". The Neighb and I both let out a Bart Simpson "ha ha".

Shockingly, even though we said we wouldn't be shocked, Christopher is in. While Gordana is tsked for a look that was "sad, drab, outdated", Logan receives the auf. Heidi had told him to pump up the volume but "this was too tricked out".

So Logan leaves, taking his shiny pants and hotness with him, to tend bar in Seattle. But he is confident. While surprised to be out for being "innovative", he knows that he's got an aesthetic that isn't for everyone. This will not stop him. And I'm sure he's right. Plenty of girls want to look like Judy Jetson.

Prediction: The final 3 will be Carol Hannah, Irina and Althea. Gordana has good taste and fine skills but it's too late in the game for her to wow the judges enough to stay. While Christopher wasn't in the bottom 2 this week he was in the bottom 3. We all know he doesn't have what it takes. Further prediction: Irina will win this season of Project Runway because she has consistently produced interesting, well-executed and usually very beautiful fashion. And also, sometimes evil triumphs over good. That said, I'll be rooting for an upset. Because I hate when evil triumphs.