Saturday, October 03, 2009

Every Plan With My Man Done Fell Through

I begin with a heavy heart as I remember that Nicholas has immunity and will have to be endured no matter what hideous excuse for "fashion" he throws on a mannequin. Sigh. Gordana makes an excellent Olympic analogy about how everyone is very good but mere seconds determine a winner. Gordana, it seems, is also the one who keeps the apartment clean.

The designers meet with Tim and Martina Reardon, who is a mucky muck at Macy's. Just an aside: we all share certain romantic associations with Macy's....likely linked to the Thanksgiving Day Parade (NOT the Macy's Day Parade, btw) and/or "Miracle on 34th Street". But truthfully? Macy's is where I go when I'm feeling a little full of myself and I need to be taken down a peg. Seriously? I can count on one FINGER the number of salespeople at Macy's who have ever asked me if I needed assistance. When I go shopping, I don't care to be fawned over but I do like feeling that the employees give a hoot that I'm in their store. I hate Macy's.

Anyway, Martina tells the designers that they will be creating 2 looks, which must use the color blue. She rhapsodizes about the many hues of blue, from soft, powder blue to electric blue. She does not use the word "cerulean". More's the pity. But that's not all. The looks must also be consistent with the INC. brand, which is sold exclusively at Macy's (plug plug). The winner will be commissioned to design a holiday dress for Macy's (which won't have to be blue). The good news? No immunity this week.

It's a team challenge. (Carol Hannah sings, "Waa waa"). Each designer gets 15 minutes to sketch and then they will pitch their ideas to Martine. The 5 top picks will be the team leaders. Carol Hannah tells us that she "gets" the Macy's shopper. (Apparently she too understands being ignored). Louise is disappointed as she browses photo spreads of INC. clothes....they are simple and she had hoped to do something big and splashy this week to prove that she can. Alas.

Here are the teams:
Irina (Gordana)
Althea (Logan)
Carol Hannah (Shirin)
Christopher (Epperson)
Louise (Nicholas)

The mood at Mood is one of stress. A number of the ladies seem to require a tranquilizer. Louise even misplaces her money, which she finds with her sketch.

Carol Hannah struggles with being a boss and telling people what to do. Irina, who has emerged as pretty darned bitchy, would rather just do everything herself. She chooses to offers Gordana no specific direction and just complain about everything she does.

Nicholas complains, a lot, about ruffles in general and the ruffles on Louise's dresses specifically. And since a) I don't myself mind ruffles and 2) it was her design that was picked and not his, I think he should shut the frak up. On the happy side of the work room, Christopher and Epperson are being as collaborative and self-congratulatory about said collaboration as can be and Althea is all giggly and dance-y because Logan is hot.

The Gunn's Walk Around
Carol Hannah begins describing the "casual" look she and Shirin are working on and when she mentions leggings The Gunn practically needs a fainting couch and declares, "Don't get me started on leggings". Duly noted. The Gunn is not a fan.

He is concerned about Louise's colors, intoning that "the ice blue charmuse is so abruptly different" from her other color selections. He is charmed by the length of Althea's skirt, how it is neither too long nor too short, and delights in how she and Logan are "avoiding the stereotypes in women's suits". (I enjoy that, too. I'd have an entire wardrobe of Althea's "business wear" if she wanted to design it for me).

Irina and Gordana use the walkaround to snipe at each other and disagree in front of The Gunn about a belt. They sound like the Republicans and Democrats debating the public option. Christopher and Epperson are working on a shirtdress (gag me) and while The Gunn "doesn't get" their textile choices, he does swoon that they have the "potential for serious reinvention". Unfortunately, what they hear is "you nailed it". Which is not what he said. Because they didn't.

Irina continues ragging about Gordana and I suggest (though she doesn't hear me through the screen) that perhaps rather than bitching she should give her some direction. And Nicholas is on again about his hatred of ruffles and their power to make him sick. Someone stuff a ruffle in his mouth.

The Runway

Big news! Kors is NOT dead! There he is! The snark is back! Joining him are Zanna Roberts from Marie Claire and Martine the Macy's lady. The Neighbor opines that she does not enjoy having different judges every week because she thinks it hurts the designers; she feels there should be more continuity so that the breadth of each designer's work can be taken into account.

Irina sends down a flowy striped dress that is just adorable and despite the gritching, Gordana's soft blouse with a deep blue pencil skirt looks very beautiful.

Althea's skirt has, inexplicably, become entirely too short but the shapes are good and Logan's created a very cute top and nice pants.

Louise's dress is awful. The color is all wrong, the ruffles are dreadful and sloppy and the pointless bow on the back looks like a hair clip tacked on. Nicholas' dress is only slightly less awful. It had nice lines but he's added more ruffles than it required. Less is more.

Carol Hannah and Shirin's dresses are, like them, cute. Christopher and Epperson, on the other hand, amaze us with the sheer awfulness of their looks: the shirt dress is hideous (Christopher says it can go "from work to happy hour" and The Neighbor says, "Go to work cleaning the house, maybe"). As for Epperson: "Look Charlie Brown! It's the Great Blue Pumpkin!" What happened here? I think the lack of drama between them lulled them into thinking they did good work. For the record, they did not. As unfortunate as Louise's designs may be, looking at Chris and Epperson's stuff makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

Althea and Logan are easily safe and Christopher and Epperson are in 6 ways of shock when they learn they are in the bottom.

Carol Hannah and Shirin are praised for great tops, lovable necklines and the versatility of their looks. Irina gets poopy with Gordana, which seemed completely unnecessary given that they were also in the top. The judges loved the dress, citing its "stand out appeal" and the fact that it's the only thing with a pattern. They also thought Gordana's blouse was very pretty so there, shut up already, Irina.

Louise and Nicholas are bashed with a "who wears this today?" The ruffles are "over-stated" and Louise's dress looks, says Heidi, like something "from a bad bridal shop". Kors snarks that it's "a bridesmaid's dress with a shower loofa". They are not too well pleased with Nicholas' contribution either and Heidi fixes him with a scary look and says, "You have immunity...aren't you lucky?". Which she repeats. Nicholas' bowels turn to water.

Christopher and Epperson fare no better. Heidi can't imagine "any modern girl wearing these". Kors calls the shirtdress a "tablecloth" and Epperson's look a "disco pumpkin". Christoper starts crying so hard that it's left to Epperson to try to defend the indefensible.

The Neighbor and I can't vote because she already knows who won and lost. But I pick Irina for the win and while Louise should be spanked Christopher and/or Epperson should be auf'ed.

Irina wins the challenge for a dress with "flirty, feminine stand-out appeal" and the other girls are all clearly safe.

Heidi reiterates to Nicholas that he is damned lucky he has immunity and sends him away. Epperson, too, is safe. Then Louise is told that her designs are so far away from what modern women want and that they were nothing more than bad, overworked bridesmaid dresses. Christopher, who still hasn't mastered his tears, is told that his looks had "nothing in common except how clueless they were". But it is Louise who is auf and Christopher continues weeping like a kicked puppy.

Louise was a very good sport and got a Gunn hug. Everyone seems sorry to see her go.

The last shock of the evening comes when we see a photo of Irina's holiday dress. It's ridiculous...a slutty little number with a damned butterfly applique. Cue Seth and Amy here: Really? Really? I am very disappointed.



Blogger Al In The County opined...

This, my friend, is our reward for patience. And I've got to tell you, it was nice to see Christopher/Epperson knocked down just a peg. I love Christopher, but he needs to realize he ain't the cats meow all the time.

Sorry to see Louise go, but not heartbroken. And damn, aren't we all wishing Nicholas didn't have immunity last week?

October 05, 2009 9:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Yay!!! Another good blog. Thanks.

Hhhhmmm. Would it be a good thing to have a similiar competion with writers who have only a few minutes to write a review of said show? Kinda like the model thing that goes after the runway.

I do get the feeling there are a lot of bloggers doing reviews of it and a competion could help writers and writing in general. Just as the Runway show helps fashion and fashion designing.



October 05, 2009 11:36 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

You know, I actually remember Tim Gunn talking about how he hated leg warmers on Good Morning America I think.

October 05, 2009 11:47 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

such a mistake allowing Nick to win last week..... it coulda saved Louise one more week....

Check this out

I hate Macy's too, btw.

October 05, 2009 1:37 PM  
Blogger Cliff O'Neill opined...

Ooh, so much to say!

First, call me a loon, but I liked the shirt dress quite a lot. And I didn't entirely hate the disco dress, save for the color and horrible leggings.

But, did you see that Louise posted pics of what her darker dress looked like on day one? The ruffles were much more subdued and actually OK. She left Nicolas to finish them and he turned them into the crap that showed up on the runway. No wonder Heidi kept repeating that Nicolas was "very lucky!"

And as for the Irina holiday dress ... I'm SURE that came right out of Mariah Carey's' wardrobe!

October 05, 2009 2:56 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You're too kind, Al. And yeah, Louise didn't seem to have a deep enough POV to make it to the Park but doggone, she sure is a sweetiepie.

Competition, Anonyba? I think not.

The Gunn does have his strict code, Rosie. Part of the reason we love him.

True that, Anne. When I come to DC next year let's not go shopping at Macy's together.

Cliffie, you're a loon. There was nothing inventive about that damn shirtdress except that it was shiny. It was wrong. And yeah, I actually loved the second dress all the way through the show and then all of a sudden on the runway it had sprouted all these extra ruffles that completely wonked out the lines. I HATE NICHOLAS! As for the holiday dress that is EXACTLY what MAB said!

October 05, 2009 4:23 PM  
Anonymous The Neighbor opined...

You'd kick serious ass if there was a PR blogging competition - just saying

October 05, 2009 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Yha. What she said.



October 05, 2009 10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Yha. What she said.



October 05, 2009 10:10 PM  

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