Friday, September 18, 2009

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

[Faithful readers may have noticed that MAB has been conspicuously absent from the PR proceedings this season. Mostly this is because she lives north of the city limits and she has a little dog and she's divorcing her husband so there's no one to care for the little dog after a long day at work so she goes home to take care of the little dog and then it's too far to drive back to The Neighbor's. But this week she's not here because she's in rehab. (She told me to tell you that).]

Carol Hannah starts this week's show where I left off last week's blog; having whittled our way down to a fairly strong contingent, the reality that someone still has to go home each week is beginning to take on a "scary" aspect for the survivors. Except, as we'll quickly see, we actually are not yet left with the strongest designers. Got ourselves a few more dregs to be done with first.

Rehab Johnny (ahem, see above) declares that he hates being in the bottom 3 but it's making him more focused because he just hates that position.

The claws are finally starting to come out on some of the designers. Nicholas - who we hate - is particularly annoying and it's not just because he is sooooooo bitchy about the other designers or soooooooo really hateful when it comes to Rehab Johnny or that he still hasn't done anything about his horrible haircut. No, it's because he has an accent. A fakey, I-was-born-in-Russia-and-came-to-America-as-a-young-boy accent. It's just about as affected as when Madonna pretends she's British. I've never noticed it before....perhaps because we've been mercifully spared but this episode was kinda all Nicholas all the time and WOW did I get tired of him.

Defying the first law of dressing for television, Heidi comes out in a black & white stripped top and black slacks. The designers are going on a field trip with Tim "where all the answers will be in black and white". Then Heidi does this little fake horror scream thing with her hands in front of her face and hello? Girlfriend is wearing black nail polish. Way to work the theme, Heidi.Off they toddle to the LA Times where Tim introduces the designers to Booth Moore, LA Times fashion critic, who gives a little speech about how "fashion is news". "She's my size!" coos The Neighbor. Actually, she's bigger than The Neighbor. But how refreshing to see a Talbots sized woman on PR! So the challenge, obviously, is to use pages of newspaper to create a look. There are 5 pallets of paper, different sections, waiting to be grabbed up in 3 minutes.

Nicholas, flummoxed, declares he is "speechless". Oh, that he really were.

Like crazy people, the designers start grabbing tons of paper, except for Irina who wonders at this with a "your dressing a human, not an elephant" but I guess they want to make sure they have plenty of material. Back at the workroom, Tim tells them they can use muslin for the infrastructure but it can't show. Then he gives them a brief history of paper clothing and I suddenly flashback to how McCall's Magazine used to have a paper doll named Betsy on the back page of each issue. There was a little story and 2 corresponding outfits to cut out. I just loved Betsy McCall).

We begin work. Althea is still really adorable but I just realized that she's somewhat inarticulate, in a Sarah Palin sort of way. Nicholas is still flummoxed and sure he's going home this week. Fingers crossed. Irina, it turns out, provides her own sound effects while working and never seems to shut up, which annoys the other designers. Nicholas is bitchy about that. Rehab Johnny is working on "large scale origami" with paper cranes that will look like they are holding up the dress. Nicholas is bitchy.

The Neighbor comes in with an early prediction: Rehab will be out.

Ra'mon is all excited about the project, citing "pattern, cubism and origami" as his influences. Louise is working on a dress made from headlines. Gordana is working on two outfits, one of which is a sheath that declares "time to change" but when he comes through for the Walk
Around, The Gunn tells her to eschew the obvious political statements and focus on her stronger design.

Althea is disappointed with the direction her garment is taking and Tim tells her to look at the paper upside down. Irina has made a stiff dress and thinks she needs to make a rain coat instead. Rehab, overwhelmed by his failure to execute anything coherent, is further defeated when Tim declares "I'm woeful - this looks like a craft project gone awry". Rehab tries to explain about the birds holding up the dress and Tim says, "It looks like the birds attacked the dress". (Images of Tippi Hedren). Nicholas hears this and is both smug and, shockingly, bitchy.

The Gunn tells Nicholas he's on "a good trajectory" and is encouraging to Christopher, who wants to create "a show stopper". At the end of the Walk Around Tim tells the designers that he is "wowed and inspired" and urges them to keep it up.

Nicholas blathers on about how when he landed on our shores he was in the East Village and all inspired by the punk movement so he's making a "modern '90's version" of a punk look. Shall we tell him this is the '00s?

Rehab's self-doubting comes crashing in after Tim's assessment so he scraps the whole bloody thing and starts again. Sort of. He tells the other designers that a steamer ruined his garment (Nicholas is shocked, since he knows what really went down) and then Rehab muddles around with some paper but mostly just works the crossword puzzle. The other designers comment on his lack of passion.

Irina is working on her "risky" coat, doing an ever so cool ruffle thing on the lapel with balled up paper.

The next day Tim takes a cursory look at the garments and worries that the designers have all become a little less inspired. He urges them to "rally" as they complete their looks and prep their models. While Carol Hannah tries to remove her dress from her mannequin, Althea and Nicholas are being bitchy about Irina. (This is no surprise coming from Rasputin Nicholas but come on now, Althea is supposed to be sweet). Rehab and Nicholas are being bitchy about each other. No love lost there, I'm afraid.

Nina and Kors must be at rehab with MAB because once again we have all guest judges: Tommy Hilfiger, Zoe Glassner and Eva Longoria Parker.

The Runway

Logan has an Asian inspired dress with an absolutely gifted cut. Nicholas' dress elicits a big fat "no". Christopher, on the other hand, gets a big "wow" with his confection of a gown. The full skirt looks like feathers. Ra'mon's ensemble is gorgeous. Epperson's look is ok, a bit too kimono- like for my taste. Rehab's mess is only slightly better than the crap he put in the recycling bin. Gordana gets a "cute" from us but we do not like Carol Hannah's thing much and Shirin's is too obviously origami and does not move. Irina's coat is way, way cool and Althea's dress gets another "wow". We're split on Louise's dress. The Neighb doesn't like it at all, I like everything but the bulbous weird collar-y thing.

The top 3 are Althea (Eva loves that it "accentuates the bum" and Zoe calls it "exquisite"), Irina ("blown away", "new", "Coco Chanel meets" every other major couture designer of the 20th century) and Christopher ('love that the skirt looks like feathers and the bodice like armor, "it's a 'wow', says Hilfiger). The bottom 3 are Gordana ("too safe"), Rehab Johnny ("it looks like she's going to work", says Heidi. And she doesn't mean to her fancy job as President of a bank) and
Nicholas (Hilfiger says it's "not punk" and Zoe thinks it looks like "insects").

In trying to justify his look Rehab tells the a-steamer-ate-my-homework story and Nicholas totally throws him under the bus and we really hate how he did it but Rehab was being completely disingenuous; he needed to be called out but it sucked that it had to come from the
bitchiest man on the planet.

We hope Nicholas will lose because we hate him but we know it'll be Johnny. We pick Irina for the win. Sure enough, she gets the prize for being "original" and "taking a risk that paid off".

While Heidi tells Nicholas that he had an idea that "didn't get there" and was "too arts & crafts", it was Rehab for the auf for a look that was "lost and empty".

The big surprise of the night came backstage. When Tim told Rehab to go to the workroom he could barely look him in the eye and as soon as he was gone declared himself "incredulous at the piece of fiction" Rehab spun on the runway. I've never seen Tim so outraged. Unfortunately, the moment was spoiled by bitchy Nicholas getting all self-righteous and saying "Ooh, me either....I just couldn't take it any more and had to say something". Whatev, suck up.

The good news? I don't for a minute believe he has the chops to hold his own against some of the very impressive talent still left. He's gonna be the next to go and good freaking riddance.

(photos courtesy of via Blogging Project Runway)



Blogger Bad Alice opined...

I loved those Betsy McCall paper dolls, too. My mom even made me a Betsy McCall rag doll - a very large one. It didn't really look like her, though. I still like paper dolls and am sad that they don't really make them anymore. Well, there are those elaborate ones from Dover that take an hour to cut out. But when I was a kid you could find books of paper dolls at the grocery store, the pharmacy, the bookstore. Sigh.

September 18, 2009 9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Did you really get this done at 6:36 a.m.? Wow, I do believe you have graduated to official worker bee status.




September 18, 2009 11:42 AM  
Anonymous the neighbor opined...

Betsy McCall - sigh. I loved those. I also love being smaller than the fashion editor for the LA Times - thanks for noting that dear nayb - fab review per yoosh.

September 18, 2009 12:57 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

BA: The Christmas I was in first grade I got a real Betsy McCall doll and she looked exactly like the one in the magazines with the most beautiful brown hair and I loved her to bits!

Anonyba: Well, 6:32am is when I started....

You're welcome, Neighb. And thanks. Is the Cake ok?

September 18, 2009 2:26 PM  
Blogger Anne opined...

I thought that coat looked like a bathrobe and thought Chris should have won for the feather skirt.

September 21, 2009 6:23 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Oh, and I loved getting the paper dolls from Mom's magazines. I bought fabric recently of paper dolls, way cute!

September 21, 2009 6:24 AM  
Blogger jp opined...

Seemed that everybody had it in for Johnny this week. Reminded me of junior high school.

September 21, 2009 9:00 AM  

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