Friday, August 20, 2010

Untitled (Because Everyone is Going to Say "Hats Off")

Little Louie the fashion pup was soooooo excited to go to the Club Room to watch "PR". Even though he picked incorrectly last week, he is a very fashion forward pup dog and he cares. The Neighbor did a kick just like the one Casanova does in the opening.

Last week we were left hanging as to Ivy's fate. Valerie and St. Gretchen theorize that she had been living on coffee and cigarettes and pontificate that she needs to take better care of herself. All this while Valerie appears to stuff her face with circus peanuts. (The puffy orange candy, not the protein source).

Ivy is released from the hospital. She was dehydrated. She feels stupid.

Heidi is wearing a top almost exactly like the one MAB has on!

The models come out, adorned with "amazing" hats designed by Philip Treacy. Their challenge is to design a dress inspired by one of the hats. Heidi makes an "old hat" joke. The designers get to choose the hat that inspires them but they all stick with their models. 15 minutes to sketch/$150 @ Mood.

Mondo thinks fabrics have voices and he can hear all of them. Of course.

Casanova whimpers to whoever will listen that he thinks he's going to quit because he cannot take anymore "bad words" from the judges. The other designers rightly judge that he is merely being a diva but apparently one or two things have seeped into his oddly shaped brain; to whit; he understands that he must show the judges that he has taste. Or as he put it, "Cho his chaste".

Kristin is struggling mightily because her hat is the only one that is literal. It's an orchid. She simply does not know what to do that will complement the hat while still displaying her design talent. We see so much of her dithering that we are convinced that she will be the one to go home. Or win.

We see Ivy eating. We see all the designers eating. See? The producers take care of the designers. Ivy fainting wasn't their fault. Please don't sue them.

Kristin begins to rhapsodize about flowers being "walking sex" and makes many "va-jay-jay" jokes with the gays. She gets all worked up and starts missin' her husband and suddenly has the inspiration for her design. Her dress will reflect the notions of love and romance.

Meanwhile, Michael C, who can be very snarky but also weeps ever so easily, is missing his kid (it's Father's Day) and he's just too sad to work properly. Which is reflected in his dress, which Ivy or someone calls a "hot mess" and which even he knows sucks. Badly.

The Gunn's Walkaround

Valerie is working to mix "soft and hard" in a very nice pink dress with a bodice that I just love. She is enamoured of a purple bedazzled zipper applied to the back for fun and The Gunn shares his philosophy that if you aren't going to use it then you don't need it. But she likes her zipper to nowhere so she's going to keep it.

April is make short shorts that look like a diaper. We don't know why. No one else understands it either.

Michael D knows that his look could easily dip into a sci fi costume but he's willing to take the risk and The Gunn tells him to boldly go where no one has gone before. No, he doesn't. But he does tell Michael "you want to walk the precipice!" There is art in the sense of danger. I guess.

St. Gretchen thinks Kristin's work - overall, not just this time - is "sloppy and lacks thoughtfulness". She is clearly preparing her resume to be a guest judge next season. And then to take Nina's place. And then to rule the world!!!!!!! Bwahahahahaha.

Peach is making a dress that is rather short. But not so short as to "show the good china". (MAB is so stealing that line). Tim cautions Mondo that he's got "a lot of look" but Mondo calmly replies, "It's what I do". Christopher is using what we consider to be a gorgeous fabric to make a beautiful top or dress or something....that part we can't quite figure out. And leggings are going to be involved. And he has a notion to use buttons as a design element. Which The Gunn poo poos as unnecessary.

To Casanova he asks, "Haven't we all seen this dress before? Donna Karan, 1988". Casanova stares at him blankly. Crickets chirp. Casanova continues gap mouthed. Finally The Gunn shrugs and says, "I don't know what else to say...finish it superbly!"

Michael C. knows his dress needs to be changed up but it is so bad The Gunn cannot offer suggestions for redemption, telling him he just has to start over. Before leaving the workroom The Gunn intones "Some of you have important decisions to make and I hope you will make them".

Michael D is snarky about Michael C and St. Gretchen decides April will be going home soon due to her overly costume-y taste. Michael C. talks to his kid about fish and then he is suddenly inspired and sings the praises of Tim's guidance while he makes a new dress that prompts Kristin to opine that his taste level is "questionable".

Day of the Runway
Mooch notes that April wears wild stockings every week. Michael C sings a little song about going home. Casanova gives himself a facial. St. Gretchen's makeup makes MAB and I share a wordless "WTF?" look with each other. Mondo wants his model to have a mustache since she's modeling "menswear". It could be kinda brilliant.

Casanova comments on Michael C's finished product, speaking the only sensible words I believe he will ever say: "Every girl in Puerto Rico has that dress in her closet".

Hey Guys - The Runway

Heidi is wearing a Philip Treacy hat. He is the guest judge with the regulars.

We are impressed with a number of pieces, although we sometimes quite like a dress (e.g. Peach) without seeing how it relates to the hat. Many bits leave us feeling ambivalent and some work is truly quite awful. Kristin's dress is just a mess of bits, April's diapers are ridiculous and Casanova is, once again horrible.

But that's just us. He was safe. As was, oh, looky at that face! St. Gretchen is merely safe and she no likey. This is delightful.

Michael D, whose hat made him think of architecture, warriors and farmers, is told by Mr. Treacy that he did a "great job". He loves how the shapes of his clothes complement the hat. Heidi thinks the skirt is very cool. Kors loves the detailing and shapes and Nina loves the back and how well the ensemble works with the hat.

Kristin shares her "romance" theme and Kors says, "Orchids are a beautiful, sexy flower" but he sees "no correlation" to that notion in her dress. Nina finds it too "matchy matchy" and "literal". Treacy likes that she emulated the stripes in the orchid but felt the dress should have been "more fragile".

Remember how much we liked Christopher's top/dress? Well, Heidi thinks it is "too dark, too sad". Nina finds it "stiff and overly designed" so that one cannot appreciate the lightness of the hat. Treacy looks at him with wet puppy dog eyes and softly says, "Simplicity can be beautiful". As in "This is not simple and it is not beautiful".

We cannot wait for what the judges think of Michael C's dress. Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Kors declared "This is what harmony looks like! She is a goddess of the sea without looking like a costume". Say wha? Surely it's just Kors. But no. Nina agrees that the colors are perfect and she loves that he used a nude shoe. Heidi finds it beautiful with the hat and "beautifully done". Mr. Treacy calls it an "exceptional job".

The room tilts. I feel lightheaded.

April talks about her "futuristic resort" inspiration and Kors tells her that she picked the right category for her theme but that the pieces were a fail. He is repulsed by the "triple pantie" and when he has the model turn around and he sees a saggy bottom he moans, "Oh. No." Nina "doesn't mind" the top, finding it actually rather beautiful but in the end the concept was "sold short....literally". Treacy, who is obviously a very gentle soul who spends great amounts of time communing with nature and other higher powers when not concocting his ethereal and transcendent hats cannot bring himself to be harsh. So he softly says the look is "a little bit weak".

Valerie's dress is very, very pretty and Heidi declares it "one of my favorites". She admires the craftsmanship. Kors responds well to the "Stevie Nicks" hemline because it is "not expected" with the more severe (but beautiful) bodice and sculptured bolero. Nina winks that it is "mischievous" and "coquettish". Treacy, however, doesn't actually understand where Valerie is coming from in relation to his hat. Hmmmm.

After the runway we are all quite sure that Kristin will be out. Mooch, The Neighbor and Little Louie pick Michael D for the win and MAB and I go with Michael C. Not, mind you, because we think it is the best design but because the response of the judges was so completely other than what we thought that we are forced to rethink our thoughts.

And looky there! Michael C does win. And he cries. There are any number of shocked faces in the green room when he emerges triumphant. The other designers can barely bring themselves to congratulate him as they are all in a shocked state that is best summed up by Ivy as "WTF??????" But Michael C is euphoric and tearful and so lost in his joy that he fails to notice that no one else thinks he even deserved to be in the top 3, let alone win.

And despite the horror of April's triple pantie, Kristin is auf'ed for a dress that was "disappointing and unflattering". But you know what? She's actually relieved. She misses the real world and her husband and is ready to go home. She knows this isn't the end of the line designwise so she graciously bids the other designers adieu, hugs and kisses Tim and lumbers off into the sunset.

So there you go. Today MAB and I are going to make Philip Treacy inspired hats out of office supplies. Maybe there will be pictures later.

It's later....



Blogger jp opined...

Today I will tell my DVR to stop recording this stupid show because I'd much rather read about it from you.

Whatever will I do with the extra hour, er, 90 minutes of my week?

August 20, 2010 8:42 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Why didn't I think of making a hat from office supplies? Brilliant! Please post pictures! Oh, I do have a purple feather thing I could use in a pinch...

I forgot to send you the line of the night (Stealing the good china) before you got to see it live. darn.

August 20, 2010 10:13 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

"Showing" the good china, not "stealing." sorry

August 20, 2010 10:15 AM  
Blogger jp opined...

Gay. Reindeer.

August 20, 2010 4:28 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

love the Great Briton you's be sitting next to the queen.

August 21, 2010 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

P, L, H & B Ts

Thanks. A well written review.

Quite funny.



August 22, 2010 12:23 AM  
Blogger Edy opined...

My Dear, Divine Ms. L,

I was scanning the Target website this morning, looking for a kitcheny thing, noted some "Franco-inspired" ware and thought of you. Nice to visit your blog, though I (gasp) don't watch PR. Lovely Post-it Wear, however. I still have my grey Focus. Of which I am now fearful of manifold failure or some such thing. And it was wonderful to read of your DC trip.

August 29, 2010 9:20 AM  

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