Monday, July 05, 2010

I celebrated the 4th of July by declaring my independence from a POS car.

Fergie the Focus, which has by and large been a good little car, has been in decline for some months now. Among her many troubles was a leaking manifold, which The Mechanic said wasn't worth fixing given it would cost more than the value of the car. He gave her a few tweaks, enough to squeeze a few more months outta her. And, frankly, that probably cost more than she was worth as well. But she drove ok, provided you didn't mind horrible grinding noises & rumbles when stopped or the"check engine" light that randomly came on and off or the front bumper that was nearly off because of the accident a few months back or the 10 years of accumulated kid crud that I had just given up trying to keep clean.

The other day I was on my way to work and the car started to fish tail. I pulled over, thinking that the tire with the bent rim that is always leaking air (see? POS) had gone flat. But it, while low, was not flat. The right rear tire was, however, tilting at a very odd angle. I called a friend to come look at it; he judged it a problem with the axle and gave me a ride in to work. The nice AAA tow truck driver who later pulled it up to the house said that the bracket for the axle had broken.

That is when the skies parted and the car gods spoke unto me and say, "Yea, verily, this car is a POS and it is time to replace it and aren't you just thankful to your very good car angels that this axle thing didn't happen on the frakking freeway?" to which I responded, "Yes, lord".

And so it was that Saturday found The Spouse and I at the Ford dealership buying a Fusion hybrid. Which looks like this:


Isn't it beautiful? (And don't be one of those party poopers who tells me that black cars are hard to keep clean because I don't care and if you can't be happy for me just be quiet; which, btw, is exactly what I told The Neighbor when she started in on the whole black-car-hard-to-keep-clean thing).

There is a whole lot about this car that is way cool. Like being able to plug in my iPod and then give voice commands. (Except the car hears "Lady Gaga" as "Abba", which I think is just hysterical). Or the fact that my mobile phone is synced up to the car for hands-free "call home" kinds of communication (except I haven't quite figured out how to make that work). Or the lighted cup holders (I have the light set onto a kind of disco pink). Or the fact that there is, per cubic inch, more storage space in the car than in my house. And then there's the leather seats (I said it was a hybrid, not a vegan) and the retractable moon roof and the new car smell.

But coolest thing of all, seriously, is that driving this car is kinda like playing a video game. The display on the dash shows you all sorts of awesome stuff (the more leaves, the greener you are driving). And it calculates you overall mpg, which is slowly creeping up by 1/10th increments with every trip. It is, The Spouse said, like unlocking achievements in a game: "Whoo hoo, I unlocked the 'Smug Hippy Achievement! Now I can upgrade my weapons!'"

Actually, that's pretty great but truly the best of the best things of all is the reliability of a new vehicle. For the last 6 months any time I got in my car I got knots in my stomach, wondering if this would be the trip when the old girl would finally give out. It's a relief to not have that concern now; and if something does happen Ford has to fix it for free. That is one of the best feelings in the world.

Anyway, I have the day off and some errands to run so I'm gonna go see if I can unlock the "Smug Yuppie Achievement".





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11 Comments:

Blogger Mom opined...

Wow1 Lighted cup holders! I can hardly wait to go for a spin

July 05, 2010 11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

P, L, H & B Ts

Yay!!!

Grats, & thanks for the lols.

Peace

:+}

July 05, 2010 1:56 PM  
Blogger SRR opined...

Congratulations. A new, dependable car is a beautiful thing!

July 05, 2010 8:56 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Mom, right? They are wicked.

You're welcome, Anonyba.

July 05, 2010 10:25 PM  
Blogger Alyssum... opined...

That is awesome. I'm super excited to see it. :)

July 05, 2010 11:02 PM  
Blogger Buck opined...

I think that since you bought it near the 4th of July, you should have gone with the "pleather" interior.

Congrats!

July 06, 2010 6:50 AM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Congrats on the new wheels! :) I've had enough car trouble in my life to understand exactly what it feels like to NOT have to worry about your car any more. :)

July 06, 2010 8:39 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

..and now my Rainey can travel safely!..I especially like the part where God told you to go forth,and buy it.

July 09, 2010 10:43 AM  
Blogger Dame Judi opined...

Fabulous car!

As for the keeping clean, well long experience tells me that no color is easy in the Northwest because of the way we do weather.

So one might as well have the beauty of their dreams, says I.

Enjoy!

July 12, 2010 8:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Your writing is fantastic and I love this blog, but for the love of god could you please update to the more reader-friendly Blogger templates? I wanted to read all of the funny, amazing PR posts from the beginning- it's impossible, even though you used labels. Clicking on the PR label only brings up the most recent 10 or so posts.

Please switch to help your loyal readers out!

July 17, 2010 11:31 AM  
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