Monday, August 09, 2010

Who Can Turn the World on With Her Smile?

The Posse convened again in the Club Room and caught the last few minutes of last week's show, prompting MAB to declare that her new strategy is to vote for the ugliest garment to win.

The designers go to the roof of Atlas to meet Tim, Heidi and Joanna Coles, editor of "Marie Claire" magazine. Please note, we have been to the roof but we have not had champagne. Joanna challenges the group to create a design that will typify in one look the essence of the "Marie Claire" reader. In case you don't know who that is she is someone who is smart, sexy, confident, educated, turns water to wine and never has a bad hair day. A photograph of the winning garment will make it onto a 40 ft. billboard positioned in Times Square. It will be photographed by some big name who isn't Annie Leibowitz.

The designers have 30 minutes to sketch, 30 minutes and $150 dollars to spend at Mood and must have the garment completed by midnight.

I hate Jason's hat.

Peach isn't happy with her fabric choices, even though she loves polka dots. So do I. Please note:
MAB got them, too:

Valerie looks like a Pink Lady in "Grease". AJ refuses to help Casanova pattern. It's every man for himself, baby.

Tim Gunn's Walk Around

TG "responds positively" to Valerie's look and urges her to "keep it clean".

Mondo isn't sketching but is doing a tutu skirt with a halter. Tim accords him "blind trust".

Tim says Jason is using "gorgeous colors" but when Jason tries to describe his concept, which is based on the number 8 for "infinity and the 8th season of PR" Tim is perplexed and says, "I'm concerned about you." Jason later whines that he is a "straight man in a gay man's world". Wha wha. He can still get married anytime he wants.

Grethchen has a singsongy voice. That's gotta get annoying.

Casanova, having given us pure vulgarity last week, is opting for a matronly design this week. Tim says he is "baffled". Meanwhile, the other designers have noticed that Casanova seems to speak perfect English when he is with them and then gets all ESL with Tim and the judges. The designers aren't buying it.

Nicholas is ripping off Gretchen, making a back that is very similar to what she did last week. He has a jacket-y cape about which Tim feels "ambivalent".

Michael's design is dismissed with a scathing "it's Blanche Devereaux". Thank you for being a friend. Not.

Peach's look is deemed "discordant" and since she agrees she starts all over.

There is another element to the challenge. Of course. The designers looks are going to be photographed and they must choose one picture to show at the runway. This photo will be given weight in the overall judging.

Gretchen tells us that Casanova could be very annoying if he "wasn't so charming". This proves The Neighbor's assertion that she is friends with ganja. Generally speaking there is a lot of love between the designers but Mondo is lonely and his art is a curse and he cries and it's sad. MAB thinks he's bipolar, a diagnosis that has some merit given how damn perky he is the next morning.

The designers have 2 hours the next morning to get ready for the photo shoot. Tim urges them to give it lots of "attitude" and to be editorial. And don't forget to be thoughtful about choices from the Piperlime Accessory Wall.

It would appear that the show has been expanded to 90 minutes in order to give us more time in the hair and make up rooms. And more time for the inane conversation that takes place in the green room. This is not an efficient use of our time.

Michael tells Jason that he loves his freaking 8 dress. But he only says this, he confesses to us, because he's afraid Jason will come up behind him with a pair of scissors. (Insert "Psycho" theme here).

Jason has pinned his garment - again. When the photographer points out the problem with this when the garment is rendered huge on a billboard, Jason opines that "the judges need to get over" such minor quibbles. Right. Because sewing isn't a huge part of fashion design. Silly judges.

Hey Guys: The Runway

Heidi points out that there will be 15 left standing - "or less". Oh, Heidi. You tease.

Kors & Nina are joined by Joanna.

Nicholas has created a skirt that is alright but otherwise we give him a "no". We love Chris' top so MAB goes for the hate.

Jason is clearly clueless, AJ himself declares that his design "looks like larvae", Peach's dress is boring and Michael gets a Nina look for his too short dress.

We love Valerie's red dress, so MAB hates it but she likes Casanova's matronly ick fest for real. Gretchen has made an ensemble for a chick mechanic and we are basically split on everyone else.

Peach's polka dots are polka nots: "ladies who lunch", "Amish cocktail party". Nina doesn't like the styling (she is way too into accessories this season) and Joanna doesn't like the "animal" climbing down the back (some weird brown accent that was supposed to give the garment a twist but looks creepy).

Valerie, on the other hand, is declared "innovative and sophisticated". Nina finds it "sexy but conservative", Kors says it has "simplicity and interest" and says red was a smart choice. Joanna thinks it is great.

Jason says his design is "edgy and youthful" but the judges disagree. Nina doesn't know how interesting it would be on a billboard, Kors deems it a "walk of shame dress" and Joanna can't believe he selected the photo he did.

Gretchen nailed it, though. Heidi says the model looks "like a cool girl", Kors finds it "modern from head to toe", Joanna likes its "effortless ease" and Nina totally gets a "Marie Claire" reader out of the look.

We don't want to make him cry but Nicholas is raked over the coals. Nina says there are too many details for a billboard, Joanna calls it "utterly unsexy" and Heidi thinks that without the cape the back is strange.

Crazy Mondo gets a spirit boost with enthusiastic responses like "really cool" and "great spirit". Joanna tosses her beret into the air at his Mary Tyler Moore inspiration because MTM is apparently the reason she wanted to move to the United States.

We have a new judge in the posse, MAB's teacup poodle, Louie. We each picked a winner then called to him. The lap into which he jumped represented his vote. He picked Mondo. So did all of us. Except The Neighbor, who went with Valerie. What? You think it's weird to let a poodle vote? Makes as much sense as any method employed by the judges. As to the loser, however, we were unequivocal in our selection. Bowler Hat must go.

However, our picks were only merely safe as Doobie Sister Gretchen wins again. But Jason, with his lack of skills and bag o' excuses is auf. He's an ass. He didn't even stick around for The Gunn to give him a "bon chance". But that's ok. Good riddance. And Tim still got to be paternal and loving to Nicholas, who was also auf'ed. He is crying veryvery hard and MAB hopes there is someone who can check on him later, lest he fling himself from a 40 ft billboard in Times Square.

It was, in Tim's words, "a rough runway".



Blogger Anne opined...

Guess I'm out, I can't walk on water.

Me, too.

Gretchen didn't invent that type of back, really now.

I love that look of Nina's.

He looks better without the hat. Glad he's gone. Wrong dress, no, thing won.

Have you been watching Austin & Santino?

August 09, 2010 9:53 AM  
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Can't watch Ausin and Santino. Owing to my lifelong loathing of, uh,

August 09, 2010 11:54 AM  
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