Friday, August 13, 2010

Untitled (Because Everyone is Going to Use "It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To")

Bathed in a beatific glow, Gretchen opens this week's show with a soliloquy on how much support the other designers are giving her and how happy they are for her back-to-back wins and how she is quite sure she'll win again, what with being anointed and all. This is balanced by footage of the other designers saying, mostly, "Whoa, has her attitude changed".

The designers meet with Tim for this week's "unconventional materials" challenge. No, we're not going to be looting grocery stores or tearing apart new cars. The designer have $100 and 30 minutes to ransack a party supply store. Tim does caution them that "the judges don't respond well to materials that resemble fabrics".

St. Gretchen is not pleased: she won't go for anything "cheeseball...because nothing I design is cheeseball". She will "remain true" to her aesthetic.

Casanova is drawn to plushies and, ignoring Tim's advice, gets table covers.

Peach has "a complete plan", AJ & Mondo confab as they are trending in the same birthday direction. Casanova gleeflully eviscerates stuffed animals, or as he calls them, "The plawsh pawppies". April is happy because these unconventional challenges "open you up to sole creativity". Mondo's hands have stopped shaking.

For reasons I don't quite understand, everyone deems this challenge right up AJ's alley, a point he affirms a million times. But he doesn't want to do anything "messy".

St. Gretchen opines that "Valerie is good; she will be in the top three with me". But lest we read that as any sort of humility, she adds that she is "a force to be reckoned with". I'd like to show her some force.

Casanova sniffs at the other designers because he's not into "the crazy stuff" they like. Yeah. He's all couture and that.

Gretchen flits from designer to designer offering her sage advice. Gretchen, STFU.

Tim's Walk Around
He greets AJ with effusive words that "this is your sensibility" (Michael snarks about glue guns). But in looking at AJ's work Tim says he's "a bit concerned" about how "the disparate parts" are to be put together.

Valerie is working on a brilliant black and white dress of napkins, with a splash of color for a belt. Tim is "not understanding the intervention of the teal" and urges her away from it. They make references to the Ascot scene in "My Fair Lady". (FYI, in case you weren't raised on musicals like mommy, in that brilliant piece of movie costuming everyone was wearing black and white).

Kristin is working with pet toys, specifically an item called "animal wooly balls". The ensuing ball jokes render The Gunn red and apoplectic with hysterical laughter.

Christopher is concerned about his skirt but The Gunn thinks it's "fabulous", giving Christopher the courage to go on. Meanwhile, The Gunn tells a dithering Peach that she has "a piece of coal in your rear end. Make a diamond!" Michael is waiting for a slam but gets a "sensational", The Gunn also loves Sarah's palate and finds that what she is doing is "upbeat" and looks as if "something Schiaparelli is happening". Sarah loves that assessment but it turns out that she's not really inspired by what she's doing and rather than trusting her instincts she is trying to force a rubber palm tree too literally into her design.

Tim graciously congratulates Gretchen on her second win while the other designers exchange "looks". She natters about her aesthetic and The Gunn urges, "Gretchen, do it! Listen to your own voice!" (To which Moochie queries, "Yes, but which voice?" )

Casanova admits to doubts about the judges reaction to his table covers and The Gunn says, "Did you not listen to me?", then adds that he didn't say they couldn't use fabric-like materials and that if he creates his design "fabulously" the judges can come around.

While Sarah is in the depths of her struggle to get excited about her own design guess who is at her side offering opinions?

The models come in, bearing gift bags that contain this week's twist. The designers must craft an accessory from the random contents of the bags.

Gretchen is going on again about how she'll be in the top three and the other designers are all rolling their eyes and being all "oh, no".

Mondo is a freak. He has a fake mustache. He is also wearing something that is reminiscent of a Catholic school girl uniform. This oddity finds Moochie just a little turned on and he spends the rest of the evening rocking himself in a corner of the Club Room.

MAB and I have decided that "Piperlime Accessory Wall" does not trip easily off the tongue and we would like a different, more dulcet name, please.

Andy is behind because he is meticulously crafting every inch of his garment so Peach and April offer to help him. While he sings the praises of their generous hearts St. Gretchen sniffs that this is inappropriate because he clearly has a "time management issue". I should note that she now has her hair up and her makeup is severe and she looks like an officious biatch. Mooch asks, "When did she become a judge?"

Hey Guys: The Judging

Kors and Nina are joined by the very freaky but you-can't-help-but-love-her-weirdness Betsy Johnson.

But first, our reactions:

Christopher: "Sooooo pretty!!!!!"

Michael: "Horrible, too stiff, too Jetsons". Mooch thinks it looks like a lamp shade.

Andy: "Wow! Just wow!"

AJ: "That's a mess". (MAB thinks Johnson will love it). It's too short.

Ivy: Pretty dress but MAB thinks it makes the model look fat.

Michael C: "That's couture!" (Gorgeous red gown)

Peach: "Cute" .

Gretchen: Dammit. It's good. Mooch loves it. I hate the skirt.

Mondo: meh

Casanova: "Whoa! Too much going on there". "It is pretty dramatic, though".

Kristin: Kinda sorta.

April: What Peter Pan would wear to a red carpet event. (Some of us like it).

Sarah: Oh. So horrible. "She's out".

Valerie: Loving. It.

The judges weigh in:

Kors declares that Valerie has done a 360 in styling declaring it looks like a "modern girl". (And Gretchen nods her head in agreement). Nina calls it "fun yet sophisticated, graphic, lovely" and Betsy is very excited that if you spill dim sum while wearing it you can clean up easily. No, seriously, she read the napkins as a functional statement. Freak.

Heidi tells AJ his dress is "silly", Nina says there is nothing wrong with camp but this is just a "hot mess", to which AJ replies "Thank you". "That's not a compliment", says Kors. Kors doesn't like how it is cut, or rather, not cut to the model's body and finds what he calls "the crotch fringe" repulsive. BJ, on the other hand, only wishes that it had been taken farther.

Andy's look is "exciting" to Kors, who adores how he transformed the material. He can see Rhianna and Heidi fighting over that dress. "I saw it first," says Heidi. Nina says it is "remarkable" and BJ applauds the execution and then says she "misses the fun, it's too beautiful".

Casanova gets a classic Korsism: "She looks like a transvestite flamenco dancer at a funeral". BJ loves that it looks like one dress in the front and another in the back but Heidi says there were "too many things going on and they went wrong".

Nina dismissively tells Sarah her dress "seems very simple". Kors says it doesn't look like a fully composed idea. BJ says "its a mish mosh" and "it's not funny...I guess that's sad".

Gretchen receives a "fabulous" from Nina, although she's not fond of the length of the skirt. Kors can see that she used herself as a template. BJ says it's "'Dreamgirls' on the bottom and 'Mad Max' on the top" but neither she nor Heidi like the boots with which she's accessorized the outfit.
In the green room AJ and Gretchen mix it up a little and she's very snotty and I hate her now.

MAB and little Louis the tea cup poodle pick Valerie to win. The Neighb and I like Andy's chances and Mooch votes for Gretchen. We all think Casanova is gonna go, except MAB, who picks Sarah.

Andy wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah and praise the little baby Jesus in his golden diaper! Gretchen looks like she swallowed a very bitter pill.

While Casanova has been in the bottom three "for a reason", it is Sarah who is auf'd, pretty much just for being "sad and boring and not following her instincts".

All the little designers are very sad to see her go. So are we.

And all that pre-show hype about someone being taken away in an ambulance? Ivy passed out and that's all we know. Stoopid producers.

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4 Comments:

Blogger jp opined...

All I need to know about this episode is right here, so I'm just going to go delete it from my DVR now to spare me the agony of accidentally watching it later.

August 13, 2010 9:13 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

I liked the idea of hte show being longer but now i think it's too long, maybe 1:15 instead of 1:30.
I'm glad Gritch didn't win, she needs to go. What kind of challenge would trip her up?

Casanova needs to go too, but we already knew that.

August 13, 2010 10:01 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You're welcome, JP.

Anne, a) I can't believe how gracious you are about all the unbelievable misspellings and punctuations errors that I only just now fixed and which you had to wade through. Must have nigh unto killed you. And yeah, the only reason it's long is so we have more backstage stuff and I could care less. If that time isn't going to be spent in the workroom than spare me.

What's going to trip up Gretchen is her own damn ego. If she gets to the place where she thinks she can do no wrong (frankly, she clearly is already there) she's gonna start making some real sophomore mistakes.

Last night MAB thought she had Bell's Palsey but it was just that she'd looked at Casanova too long.

August 13, 2010 10:23 AM  
Blogger Doralong opined...

I had an overwhelming desire to stuff Gretchen in a closet. Or duct tape her mouth shut. Leave the critique for the Master- La Gunn, and shut up ALREADY!!! But him cracking up over the woolly balls thing way way hysterical.

There was much screaming involved here at Casa de Locos when that train wreck of a parade float got a pass. The fumes from the hot glue guns obviously affected the judges as well as Ivey... The man has NO TASTE- none, zip, zero, nada. One presumes he's being kept around for amusement value, because it surely isn't talent of any sort.

But Betsy Johnson was a hoot. I love her crazy ass.

August 13, 2010 2:18 PM  

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