Friday, November 06, 2009

One Last Chance

Althea and Irina are no longer speaking. Aakwaard. Meanwhile, all alone in his apartment, Christopher opines that it's "odd that I'm the last boy standing". Very odd indeed, what with his not-much-talent thing. Gordana is all about how this is her last chance to do something big, hoping to succeed to bring honor to her family and her country etc. etc. and The Neighbor sighs, "I heart her".

Heidi tells the designers they will be meeting Tim at "an iconic place, rich in culture, with priceless views". "Malibu?" says The Neighbor. (She's a SoCal girl). They go, in fact, to the J. Paul Getty Center where Tim is standing with Antonio Villaraigosa, the mayor of LA. That's pretty cool. Btw, I myself have never been a fan of Los Angeles but if I ever had to spend time there I think I would spend a lot of it at the Getty Center. It is a gorgeous, gorgeous place. The designers are to create their last pre-Bryant Park look using the Center as inspiration. They have 30 minutes to tour (no where near long enough), 30 more minutes to sketch and then get 2 days to complete their look. The models come along for the ride and off they go. Irina and Gordana are inspired by paintings and Althea by the architecture of the Center. Carol Hannah falls in love with a huge antique bed all bedecked with drapery and feathers and Christopher? Well, Christopher is gaga for a fountain full of rocks covered with algae. You just know this is going to end badly.

The designers get $300 to spend at Mood. While there Irina considers some fur and Tim tells her it looks like a "giant Scandinavian rabbit". We giggle. Back in the work room Tim states the obvious: this is their last chance and some of them will not be going to The Park. With a stirring "Invest in the success of your own work and take risks!" he leaves them to their drama.

Mean Girls Redux
Althea is feeling like a fifth wheel and Irina is bitching about how Althea has commandeered three work tables (hey, there's plenty of 'em). "Her Highness needs to iron," she snarks. Last week a new reader called me to task for using the word "evil" to describe Irina. Hyperbole aside, she is not a nice person. Remember the lunch room scene last week, when she was all buddy buddy with Althea? Right before she tried to throw her under the bus? Well, this week she's sucked in Gordana, who inexplicably seems to delight in standing aside with Irina gossiping and twittering about the other designers, particularly Carol Hannah. Really? As MAB would say, come on now.

Tim's Walk Around
Christopher describes the fountain rocks to Tim and how he found the algae on them beautiful. "Christopher. What?" says the Gunn. Exactly. "Keep an editing eye," he warns.

Carol Hannah is making a beautiful drapey dress and working on the bed inspired embellishments. Tim cautions her about her plans for sweeping decoration across the bodice. And for the first time ever we find ourselves in disagreement with The Gunn. The dress needs something to capture the grandeur of the inspirational bed and if there is any designer capable of editing tastefully it's Carol Hannah. But she listens to Tim and forgoes her decorative scheme.

The inspiration for Irina was a painting of chubby girls in diaphanous gowns and she tells Tim that she's going for something "sheer and fleshy looking". "Fleshy?" queries The Gunn. He doesn't see "diaphanous" in her garment and is not at all feeling the rabbit skin. "It looks like road kill," he tells her. And with the dress the look inspires only a "post apocalyptic moment". It's all true and the more delightful because anything that rattles Irina's cage makes us happy.

He greats our next designer with a "Wow, Althea. Talk to me". Her look is based on the architecture of the center, which she is representing with many, many pleats. Sadly, her fabric selection prefers not to be pleated and the effect is, as Tim puts it, "a panel of puckering". He cautions that she needs to bring "a critical eye to this".

Gordana's inspiration was a Monet painting of a cathedral, all watery and grey and gorgeous (I love Monet) and she gets extremely emotional about her spirituality and the angelic colors of the painting and how inspired she is. Neither Gordana nor Tim know how the judges will feel about it but The Gunn is suitably impressed.

The models come in for fittings and Christopher tells us that he knows he's the "odd duck" but then proceeds to give himself more credit than he deserves. "I've only been in the bottom a couple of times". If by "a couple" he means 5 then, yes.

Everyone has their "this is the last challenge" Nervous Nelly moment and Gordana sums things up with a "I have done already what I could have done". After their fits of nerves all the designers weigh in on each other's looks. It sounds like this: smack, smack, smack. (Oh! And further proof of Irina's evil? She says something about how she's the kind of person who isn't afraid to say something to your face (except that, as we already know, she enjoys talking behind your back, too). We've all known people like this. Anyone who is perfectly delighted to say something intentionally mean to you and cover it with a gloss of "I'm just being honest" is not a nice person. She will also copy your test answers and steal your boyfriend. Some people just never leave junior high.

The Runway
The judges are Nina, Cynthia Rawley and Cindy Crawford. Whatever.

Althea's dress doesn't read as puckery as it could have but it is overall not stunning.

Carol Hannah's gown is too simple (she really shouldn't have listened to Tim) but it is lovely.

Christopher's gown is unflattering and stiff. MAB thinks the bodice is pretty but there is no movement in the garment and sure enough, he's splashed funky green smears on it to represent his beloved algae.

Gordana's mostly grey gown flows beautifully and hints well at the ethereal cathedral of the painting but The Neighbor correctly notes that the pinkish fabric that runs along the front is suggestive of a vagina.

Most horrible, in our collective view, is Irina's sack. MAB thinks it looks like a parachute, down to the stringy bits at the back. It is nothing like the elegant work she's done here-to-fore. Eeeww.

Cindy tells Althea that she was "brave" to try all the pleating and Rawley agrees that it was "ambitious", Heidi sums it up as a "mess fest" and she is criticized for using the wrong fabric to accomplish her goals. Althea looks like a kicked puppy.

In a "what are they smoking in the green room?" moment, all the judges like elements of Irina's dress, except the length, which Nina says is "old lady". They hate the chunky big shoes (oooh, someone didn't use the Macy's accessory wall thoughtfully). They have the model take off the shoes and her other adornments and all declare they now like the sack much better. It is still a sack, my friends.

Moving on to Gordana, the judges clearly see the brushstrokes of the painting and declare that her design most closely connects to her inspiration. Nina, however, is still not sure that she's "taking chances" and notes that the back is not great. (It's not. MAB notes that from behind it looks like hospital gauze and the zipper is big and glaring). Cindy says that she can see herself wearing it, assuming something is done about the zipper.

Rawley tells Carol Hannah that the fit of her gown is "fantastic" and the details are "nice". Nina declares it "safe perfection" (ouchy).

Christopher goes on about his love of pond scum algae but while the judges like the top well enough they find the bottom fabric "too heavy" and then he weeps into his model's bosom because he has the ability to see the beauty in algae on a rock and no one else gets it. It's lonely at the bottom of the pond.

Then we get the awkward "tell us why you should go to Bryant Park and who should go with you" business. Irina tries to be human and emotional and gives an "I have a dream" speech. Hate her.

As the judges weigh their fateful decision, Nina says something very stupid. "Who is Gordana?" This is rich. Had she been at more than a handful of runways, she might know. And this is where, once again, we complain that the inconsistency in the judges panel this season has been a detriment to the show.

The Verdict
There are absolutely no surprises here. Irina is going to Fashion Week because she has "consistently performed well". Christopher is auf because while he has good ideas, he needs more experience. He cries. Carol Hannah is going because she is "true to her point of view". Althea's dress this week was a "mess" but she too is going. And Gordana is also auf despite her "gorgeous" dress, because she just hasn't shown strongly throughout.

This is exactly what we anticipated so there is a sense of let down. But now we get to go to Fashion Week and see some collections from 3 very talented designers. And this is me, still hoping for an upset. (But Irina is going to win).



Blogger Anne opined...

hated the sack.
hope carol hannah wins
wonder what logan's collection looked like

zippers are hard. I know.

November 06, 2009 11:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Another good review. Ya, Irina will win. Bummer.

Gordanna should have gone to the park place too, if they were going to be true to the idea that whoever has a chance depending on their work of the day.

However, that said Epperson should have remained and Christopher aufed for the same reason. Same said about Logan. Took Cris 6 times in the bottom to final go. At which point how good would his last fashion have to be to make up for all the rest?

Maybe Carol Hannnah has a chance too. Maybe.



November 06, 2009 1:49 PM  
Blogger Doralong opined...

Gordanna was robbed. Period.

November 08, 2009 8:46 AM  

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