Grab Your Popcorn and Red Vines

As we begin Ra'mon opines that the absence of Rehab Johnny has made everyone realize that the competition is now more "serious". True that. We are at the point where the merest lapse in judgement or one crooked hem could be the undoing of an otherwise talented designer. Think about it. We have a lot of folks who have never been within sniffing distance of the bottom 3. The competition is strong and the standards will be higher and higher with each passing week.

Off we go to a Hollywood sound stage to meet Tim and Collier Strong (who for those of you not familiar to the Runway is some Loreal Paris makeup dude who bugs me very much and who has a face that The Neighbor believes should be sanded). Inside the dreaded velvet bag are genres of film. The designers get to pick one and then create a character who lives in that genre and design a look for her. Fun challenge, no?

Turns out Ra'mon is a huge sci-fi geek and Louise, shockingly, picks film noir. Epperson ends up stuck with "Western" and he's not so happy about that but whatcha gonna do? The designers have 30 minutes to sketch, $150 to spend and 1 day (ouch) to complete. Tim encourages the designers to think about their look, to ask "who is she...what does she do...why is she wearing what she's wearing"?

Oooh! Hubba Hubba Alert! Logan casually informs us that he has "connected" with Carol Hannah and she is all effusive about the fact that their work tables are next to each other and that he's "hot". Hmmm. Carol Hannah seems a little distracted. Ladies and gentleman, I believe, we have what MAB calls a "showmance".

Meanwhile, Nicholas makes me want to puke. He's so prissy and bitchy and full of his damn self.

Irina, it appears, is rather full of herself as well, but with her it's coming off a little more as confidence rather than arrogance. She is so pleased with the direction she's going that she thinks she could survive this challenge without the immunity she won last week.

Epperson has a breakthrough. He was pouty because he wanted "period" for his genre but he just realized that "Western" IS a period.

Gordana is going with a 20's inspired look and says something about how that was the period when "the womens started to get more emancipated" so that was charming and Louise can't find her bobbin.

Nicholas starts trash talking Louise and what he perceives as her lack of POV, which is rich coming from Mr. Bottom 3 guy who, btw, reminds me of the time I found maggots on the inside of my garbage can lid and had to douse it with bleach. (shiver)

Highlights of The Gunn's Walk Around

He is "seduced" by Epperson's ruffles, declares that Ra'mon's look will either be "sublime or a big, hot mess", that "subtlety and nuance" are Louise's strength but that doesn't necessarily give one something that is "show worthy" and encourages Nicholas to "exaggerate" the alien-in-white thing he's doing.

Before departing on the slim, shimmering cloud upon which he floats, The Gunn urges the designers to "look around the room; assess where your work is in relation to others".

Then there was the complete BS "design your makeup" thing with Collier that always irritates me because it's all him telling the designers what do do and making "strong eyes" and "accentuating" whatevers and I want The Neighbor to fast forward through it but she's a purist.

Ra'mon has dyed his fabric, which comes out this fabulous mottled green but inexplicably, by the time he has sewn the garment it just looks like Kermit the Frog gone wrong. It's all one color and he's made a catsuit with some schtuff on it and it's horrible. Nicholas almost loses it a bunch of times because he's a drama queen and I frakking lose it whenever I see his maggoty priss face.

As we finish up The Gunn makes a final workroom visit to intone, like the voice of God, "Work like there's no tomorrow because for one of you there won't be". Scramble, scramble.

The Runway

We have 3 guest judges, again, confirming my suspicions that Nina and Kors are dead.

Irina is lucky she has immunity. Her dress has no "wow" factor at all and is frankly a big "meh". Carol Hannah, on the other hand, elicits a "Whoa!" with her fabulous goth-y thing. Shirin has made a saloon girl costume, which would be excellent for Halloween but does nothing for us. We like Christopher's ruffly sleeveless Victorian thing with many poufs and fluffs. Grudgingly, we deem Nicholas' look "pretty" but what stands out are the hair & makeup. Althea has made a gorgeous film noir-y ensemble that I would totally wear. The Neighbor thinks Ra'mon's look is "fun" but I think it is a mess. It might have been a "wow" on the first season of the first "Star Trek" but no self-respecting alien would really wear that. We agree with Louise, whose own assessment of her dress is that it is "ok". Eppperson, meanwhile, has done something far more persuasive with his homage to the Western. It's a look that MAB says is "couture". Gordana's dress is strictly '20s...there's no innovation here but it is spectacularly well-crafted. Logan's slim black leather thing is a little punk and mostly OK.

The judges tell Gordana that they appreciate the detail in her garment but lament the lack of "specialness". They fall all over themselves with their delight at Nicholas' story about the beautiful evil ice queen who is plotting the destruction of the world and are gaga about the hair and makeup, and, oh, yeah, the white dress would "read well" on the screen (really?). All I can think is that a) this is NOT Project Makeup Chair nor 2) SciFi Theater. They are distracted by story and makeup and not judging the dress, which is not nearly as much a standout as some others. Whatev. Louise tells the story of an aspiring actress who sports a look that is a "40s version of a flapper" and the judges snore. "Snoozefest, messy, not special, not strong, no style"....ouch. MAB is annoyed that she comes back with a "I'm just glad to be here to hear your critique" response. "It's lame," she says. And while Louise may be playing it safe (having learned from last year's Kenley that you win no friends arguing with the judges), you also can't defend the indefensible. The judges rave about Christopher's dress - the "elegant neck" and fantastic back but I do want to slap him when he tells his story about a vampire in love with a human. Really? Wow, Christopher, there's a concept that Hollywood hasn't latched onto yet. What? Was there a fourteen year old reading Twilight backstage? Ra'mon makes things worse by telling the story of a reptile alien "thirsty for the flesh of men", which does nothing to distract the judges from their assessment that the garment is "shoddily made", "a hot green mess" and that he's "sabotaged himself with leather". Epperson garners immense praise for "thinking outside the box", creating a look that has "bravado" and "contemporary value" and the dude judge says, "Matar can manage my farm anytime".

So the bottom 3 are Louise (not show stopping), Gordana (who crafted a beautiful, classic piece. And yes, it is not at all innovative but if she were designing for a movie about the '20s you'd so want that dress in it) and Ra'mon. Now, we're thinking that you can't auf Louise yet because this is her first time in the bottom and while both Gordana and Ra'mon have been there before, you simply can't auf something as beautifully made as Gordana's dress when it's standing next to something that has been consistently described as a "hot mess" throughout the show. And we pick Christopher for the win.

But - eeewww- Maggot Boy wins because the judges were "blown away" by his "memorable and exquisite" dress (What. EVER.)



That makes 2 weeks running that Christopher has been denied. And while Louise did bore the judges to death, Ra'mon was rightfully auf'ed for "missing the mark" and "execution that was unacceptable".

We have to endure yet another soliloquy by Maggot Boy, about how he's "here to win and nothing is going to stop me". Where's my bottle of bleach?