Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Stop It, Already

Things were a little oogie yesterday morning. We currently have a guest who is, shall we say, toxic? Bit of a complainer. Which is rare for us. Generally people are so lovely and grateful that it is very surprising when we have someone who is forever finding things wrong.

"Well, she is under stress," you say and I will reply, "As is every other person in that house as well as every person who has ever been in that house and no one, I repeat, No. One. has been a bigger pain in the arse".

"What about that one woman with the..."

"Oh, for sure," I quickly and rudely interrupt. "She was a piece of work but this one makes her look like Pollyanna".

The fact is, we are simply not accustom to complaints and so when we get them they stand out like a zit on the nose of a debutant. But the woman in question is, as I said, toxic; the sort whose bad energy affects everyone around her. (And she's with her husband, who isn't any better). Their constant stream of complaint has started to take a toll on everyone. In fact, when next she complains to me I have decided that I'm going to put my arm around her and very lovingly say, "You know, I've grown very concerned about you. You seem very unhappy here and that's troubling because this is supposed to be a place of comfort and peace in a difficult time and that doesn't seem to be the case for you. It is very important that you and your husband be in an environment that suits your needs so that he can get well and you can best help him in that effort. Would you like me to give you a list of nearby hotels?"

That might shut her up.

But yesterday I hit on another strategy. I donned MAB's hard hat from the ground breaking and wore it out to the kitchen. Mrs. Bitcherson was there, with some of the other people who have (I think largely owing to her bad influence) been finding fault. I said nothing, just walked in to get coffee. There were giggles and one woman starting singing "YMCA". (I joined her, complete with hand motions). Then someone else asked why I was wearing a hard hat.

I smiled sweetly and said, "So the complaints don't hurt my head anymore". You could have heard the proverbial pin drop. I smiled sweetly, again, and returned to the office.

And the remainder of the day was very pleasant.

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Blogger Anne opined...

Wow, that's just great. I'm thinking I need a hard hat for around here.

should be standard issue...

May 12, 2009 7:12 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Right? Feel free to use it.

May 12, 2009 7:27 AM  
Blogger Willym opined...

Lovely.. simply lovely!!!!

May 12, 2009 7:36 AM  
Anonymous Minogue opined...

Brilliant work Rainey.

May 12, 2009 7:54 AM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

Oh that is a good one, I use the tissue box...for the crybaby men I have to lead...they hate it when I bring it with me to a meeting.

May 12, 2009 8:02 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

Brilliant. (to use Minogue's word)

May 12, 2009 8:46 AM  
Blogger Sling opined...

At first I thought,'Damm,..poor Raney has an unpleasant guest in her actual home!'
Then I thought,'Well,..why doesn't she just bitch-slap har right into the middle of next week?'..
And then I thought,'Oh!..She's at work,and that sort of thing probably isn't in the employee manual'.
..Is it?

May 12, 2009 8:53 AM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

I enjoyed this. Sorry to enjoy your pain.

May 12, 2009 10:31 AM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

OK, that just totally ROCKS. :) Oh and by the way, for the first couple of paragraphs I didn't realize you were talking about a guest AT WORK--so I kept thinking, what kind of horrible guest did Lorraine and the Spouse invite into their home? *hee hee*

May 12, 2009 12:07 PM  
Blogger Mom opined...

Very clever. You are so smart.

May 12, 2009 12:56 PM  
Blogger Eric opined...

It was that damn DaniWani and his spouse :)

May 12, 2009 12:57 PM  
Blogger booda baby opined...

Ahh! I started scouring my memory for something, anything that approximated a hard hat, but now I'm thinking I can wear my Elmer Fudd winter cap and work the same line. It DOES cuddle the frontal lobe.

That was pretty close to brilliant. Thanks.

May 12, 2009 5:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha


Surprised you didn't ask spouse to do some kind of a video in order to document it for future justification of raise.

Hard hat thing was still effective though.



May 12, 2009 5:31 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Sorry about the confusion, kids. It is a little weird that I live in a house and work in a House. LOL.

May 13, 2009 7:11 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

I wasn't confused at all. I am smarter than the average bear.

May 13, 2009 7:29 AM  
Anonymous Syd opined...

Absofrigginglutely awesomely inspired, Rainey! Although the well-meaning offer of a hotel listing runs a close second... :)

May 13, 2009 11:06 AM  
Blogger Grish opined...

It's so freakin' hot!
My Rec room is so noisy!
My sink is full of dishes!
My kitchen floor is dirty!

Hey can I have stay over at your place too? :P

May 13, 2009 4:17 PM  
Blogger D.A. opined...

I had a hat like that too once, but now I use it as a colander.

May 14, 2009 5:13 AM  

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