Hypochondria

People in my family are hypochondriacs. I have a second cousin who is probably the best. She once had a heart attack and the plague on an airplane. When she was about 13. She's really funny when she tells it but even her parents confirmed that the child never has an ache or a pain that isn't magnified into something very serious, rare and deadly. She is the gold standard. My sister Audrey Hepburn and I pale in comparison. We just think we have a brain tumor every time we get a headache.

Needless to say, this swine flu thing has me a little edgy.

The Spouse stayed home from work yesterday. I thought he was just giving himself a day off. Turns out he felt like crap. When I came home from work he was in the family room. Coughing. Coughing all over the place where I normally sit to slay zombies. "Oh, my yord!" I cried. "You have swine flu! Cover your damn mouth when you cough like that!"

He slept in the family room last night. I disinfected our bed before I got into it last night. I do NOT want to get the swine flu.

Of course, I am a responsible person & generally keep my hysteria to myself. When The Child started asking me questions about the flu I told her that the worst cases were in Mexico and that the best thing anyone can do with any illness is cover their mouth with a tissue when sneezing or coughing, wash their hands frequently and avoid close proximity to the ill. I told her that people who are sick should stay home from work so they don't make others ill and so they can hurry up and get better. I told her it was no big deal. Then she made the connection that it was the Spanish influenza that nearly killed Edward, hero of the Twilight books. "Well, yes," said I, "but this is way different than that. Now we have so much more information about illness PLUS people are able to get the word out so much more quickly. It's much easier to contain these things".

So she's not freaking out. Because I think the hypochondriac gene skipped her.

Me on the other hand? I have to go wash my hands. Again.