Monday, June 02, 2008

Today Rainey Rants While Oversimplifying the Development of Human Thinking

Long, long ago when time was still misty and the world was newer than now; before the dawn of written knowledge, refrigeration and "Battlestar Galactica", the people of the earth were pagans.
They had tools, skills, liturgies and music but there were things they just didn't get. Volcanoes, for example. Because the unexpected eruption of same had a tendency to put a serious crimp in their plans, the pagans did the only thing they could think to do. They'd make a nice meal, beat on some drums and toss a virgin into the smoking maw of the angry volcano. The virgin died.

The volcano erupted anyway.

The pagans were a little slow. It took them a while, for example, to figure out that they needn't freak whenever it got dark. Happily, they eventually realized that the bright orb in the sky would come back up after a while. They learned to relax.

Pagans would sometimes offer up songs, dances and fruit salad in order to secure a good crop. Over time, they started to figure out that things like weeding, watering and mulching went a long way toward achieving a successful harvest. But they were still pagans after all, so if there was a killing frost or infestation of locusts they figured they must have ticked off what came to be called "the gods" (or karma or kismet, depended on where you were being pagan at the time). This scenario usually resulted in another virgin sacrifice.

Over time, things like logic and science came along and most people began to understand that there were basic principles which guided the forces in the world: seasons, day and night, that. This understanding didn't necessarily prevent erupting volcanoes, locusts and floods but it went a long way toward diminishing virgin sacrifices.

As understanding grew, there were fewer pagans of the sort I described, with most people coming to realize that sometimes stuff just happens.

There are, however, still pagans among us. Not the happy-go-lucky-naked-fire-dance-pie-eating-"religion-seems-silly-to-me-but-you-do-as-you-like" pagans. I refer to those pagans who don't realize that they are pagans but seems to think that every natural disaster (or even human caused ones resulting from war or bad lifestyle choices) are somehow the act of a vengeful god.

Certainly, sometimes things happen as a result of poor choices. Wrecking your car while drunk for example. After such an event, however, the question isn't "Why am I being punished?" The correct phrasing is "Why was I such a stupid jackass?" But more to my point (and I do have one), being a stupid jackass isn't the only thing that will visit trouble upon you. Truth is, you could do everything right your whole life - abstain from cigarettes and booze and bacon, exercise 30 minutes a day, give to charity, smile at everyone you meet and drive the speed limit but you still won't be exempt. Something, sometime is going to take you out. It's not a punishment. It just is.

And natural disasters? You can abandon your trailer home in Tornado Alley, move to a seismically retrofitted house on high ground but stuff, my friend, is still going to happen. It will happen because some things are just plain out of your control. When bad things happen it's not because anyone is being punished. It's because bad things sometimes happen. Period.

I am fed to the teeth with the arrogance of actors, preachers and pontificatiors of all stripes who declare that horrible events are God's judgement on a select few (and I mean select as in I-don't-much-like-em-so-God-must-not-either sort of way) . That's not how He/She rolls. It's simply not logical. If it were true that bad things are a punishment, then only bad people would suffer. The rest of us would live in blissful joy.

Nope. As Jesus once said, "The rain falls on the just and unjust alike". So do the earthqauakes, plagues, pestilence, reality television and cancer. Which is why I wish people like
Sharon Stone, Pat Robertson, and John Hagee would shut their ignorant, superstitious, pagan mouths.



Anonymous Syd opined...

***wild applause***

June 02, 2008 12:31 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thank you, Syd. Pie?

June 02, 2008 12:51 PM  
Blogger Jason Boskey opined...

Wonderful post...

Now, do you take it to the next step?

June 02, 2008 1:13 PM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

Oh I so agree with you, mostly cuz, me, being lesbionic, I have caused plenty of natural disasters. Yep, when I figured out for surely I was gay, Mt St. Helens erupted. So there. And as you know the gays caused Katrina.

Oh side note....Sharon Stone is hot, not matter what she says. Sorry, wierd parts of my body think for me sometimes.

June 02, 2008 1:15 PM  
Anonymous Syd opined...

Why, thank you! I lurve pie...

And while it might seem to you like an oversimplification, I have a feeling it really isn't too far off the mark. Because after all, we still have pinheads spouting this nonsense, and you'd think they'd've had plenty of time (and history) from which to have learned the facts.

June 02, 2008 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha (Note no W)

Hhhmmm. Maybe sometimes one gets the option to help in the development of techniques to deal with said pagan types. Like democracy for example. So here is my latest happening with the 11th district.

I am now the kinda official PCO (precinct Committee officer) for precint 1947. Went to the first ever party for PCOs in the district and or those who were delegates. 500 invitations, 33 showed up. Bunch of politicians did though. King County Councils Chair the chair of the states ways and means and a few others as well. Free lunch, beer and wine.

Needless to say although i did my best to prevent said from happening it was brought to my attention that they were in the process of developing a web site for the 11th district. Ahem. I did indeed say something about a blogger that was well educated and extremly talented. Capable of relatively accurate capitalization and the master of numerous bloggy techniques.

That said if you would like the name of said contact or the address of said to be blog cool. Right now it is on facebook only. (Whatever that is!)

Great blog today!!



June 02, 2008 1:25 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Meaning what, Bosky? I've already ruled out the virgin sacrifice thing...

Oh, Sage, you lesbians and the woes you have visited upon us. It's like I always say, "Blame Ellen Degeneres".

Syd, I'm so glad you understand my point. The real oversimplifiers are those about whom I rant. Life just isn't as simple as they want to make it. Also, I'm pretty sure the earthquake in China had more to do with subduction zones than karma.

I'll check out the Facebook thing, Anonyba. Good on your for PCOing. And thank you for the kind words.

June 02, 2008 1:43 PM  
Blogger Buck opined...

Poor Pat Robertson. When people like that spout off and claim that God became vengeful over something, that just's a quick easy way of putting themselves on a pedestal.

Oh, and you know what kind of pie I like. Invite The Neighbor over for a slice.

June 02, 2008 2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha (Note no W)

Cool. Thanks. Left info on your home phone message thingy. Am not sure but you may be able to do the PCO thing too.

And yah I have the number for that hippie as well (oops) i mean flower child of the love generation. Duh, I think.



June 02, 2008 2:23 PM  
Anonymous DoraLong opined...

I'll spring for the duct tape for the entire lot of them..

I really never had the capacity to understand that whole "retribution of the lord" crap.. Ok, so if his/herself was pissed and taking it out on one particular group, all those other innocent souls got dragged into it precisely how and why???

As you like to say Cuz, pfft..

June 02, 2008 2:24 PM  
Blogger sfoofie opined...

I'm going to go ahead and give you a standing applause......

June 02, 2008 3:49 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Buck, I will give you some mincemeat and then we're going to go tip pedestals.

We're going to need a lot of duct tape, Cuz. Best stop by Costco.

Ok, Sfoof but watch out for the pie...

June 02, 2008 4:34 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

It constantly amazes me how these morons can get from A to B with their twisted logic.
You said all that stuff really pretty Rainey.

June 02, 2008 5:28 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thank you, Sling. Don't talk with your mouth full.

June 02, 2008 6:00 PM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Once in a while Iwanski makes a prediction, and the exact opposite thing happens. To which Iwanski comments, "The Universe is trying to prove me wrong."

That's not exactly like punishment. It's more God showing his/her sense of humor. :)

June 02, 2008 6:42 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

MHP, that's totally different.

June 02, 2008 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

(clap clap clap) Now then, about this pie of which you speak...

June 02, 2008 8:02 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Hat, you don't have to applaud to get pie, you know. Tart Tatin? Not strictly pie but who doesn't love caramel apples in crust?

June 02, 2008 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

I'll bet some of those virgins weren't really virgins.

Further, if I were a virgin, I'd sure as shootin' be putting out for the first bloke to look my way, and then telling everybody about it so as not to be sacrificed.

That's totally not what you were talking about, but it's where my mind went anyway.

June 02, 2008 9:48 PM  
Blogger Jason Boskey opined...

The next step is the realization that (insert deity) is really only needed because we cannot predict the future, and we need someone to plead to?

June 03, 2008 7:57 AM  
Blogger Kimberly Ann opined...

Wonderfully ranty, with just a hint of minty outrage.

June 03, 2008 8:00 AM  
Blogger D.A. opined...

I know, I couldn't believe Stone's comments either. I mean EVEN IF you are actually deluded enough to think that a country has been hit by an earthquake because of karma, why can't you have the sensitivity and diplomacy to keep such an idea to yourself!

By the way, after the tsunami of a couple of years ago, our priest gave an excellent homily in which he argued that all so-called disasters are only disasters because they clash with our way of life. Winds rage, tides reach monolithic proportions and tectonic plates just refuse to sit still because that is what these things do: it is their function... one might even go so far as to say "God-given function."

June 03, 2008 8:04 AM  
Blogger booda baby opined...

Well said.

I don't mind them saying it so much - because you either embrace it or not, it's the implied they're exempt and obviously blessed for NOT suffering.

June 03, 2008 8:53 AM  

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