A Heartwarming Tale

There was an accountant named Aaron Anderson. He lived in Alabama with his wife, Amy and the quadruplets: Adam, Adelaide, Allan and Aileen. They were a very happy and adventurous family.

One day, I believe it was on a Thursday, although it could have been a Wednesday, Aaron went to the animal bazaar. He had a hankering for an exotic pet. He found an aardvark that was particularly handsome. He had to pay a great deal of money for the aardvark, but as he had developed an intense passion for the beast he was unable to do anything else and so it was that the aardvark came to the little gray house at the corner of Main St. and Grand Avenue.

Aaron brought home the aardvark, who was of no particular religious persuasion, although he had been raised Roman Catholic. The aardvark was introduced to the family with elaborate fanfare, Aaron having a flair for the dramatic. They were all in raptures over the animal and decided to name it Abraham. They fed Abraham apples, artichokes, asparagus, antipasto and Asian pears. Abraham was ecstatic.

The Andersons made a soft bed for Abraham, with apricot colored sheets and an angora blanket.

They taught him opera and algebra. He was a very smart aardvark and soon was regaling the entire Anderson clan with tales of his travels down the Amazon and entertaining them with his antics. He was adept at handiwork, particularly tatting and beaded applique. He assisted the Anderson children with their grammar and aided Amy with washing the laundry.

Abraham eagerly anticipated the nightly family dance, when all the Andersons, Aaron, Amy, Adam, Adelaide, Allan and Aileen gathered to tango and salsa. After dancing, they would pull out the compact disks and play all their favorite music: Aerosmith, the Bangles, a-ha, and Madonna. Abraham regularly moved them all to tears with his rendition of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina. He had something of a pash for Broadway musicals, particularly "The Light in the Piazza", "Singing in the Rain", "My Fair Lady" and most certainly, "Evita".

Abraham was grateful for his newly acquired way of life and thanked the Andersons often for their amiable cordiality. Though Abraham could be a knave and something of a rascal, he was, in large part, an enchanting asset to the Anderson's way of life.

For his part, Abraham was happy to be catered to and caressed. He had no complaints. In fact, he was often heard to say, "This beats scrambling for ants in Tanzania." And so it was.

And they all lived happily ever after.