Why I Can't Bash Alec Baldwin, Much as I'd Like To
Oh, celebrities. Without them, none of us hoi polloi ever get a chance to feel smug and superior. I never go clubbing without my panties. See? I'm better than you.
If, like me, you've been too busy to hear, Alec Baldwin is in trouble because he left a phone message for his 11 year old daughter in which he yelled at her and called her names. It was ugly and of course, the message got out into the ether.
First off, the phone call wasn't random abuse. He has a court-apointed time to call her, as he lives in New York and she's in LA with her mother, Kim Basinger, who is, btw, a model of mental stability. He called when he was supposed to, the kid didn't pick up. He got pissed and vented. A lot. Did I mention it was ugly? But 2 questions spring to mind. 1) If the phone call is a pre-arranged, court mandated thing, why didn't she pick up? Doesn't she know that daddy is supposed to call every day/week/whatever at such & such a time? And b) how is it we know about this? The message was leaked to TMZ, a gossip blog. 'K. Who leaked it? Either the kid, because she's got an axe to grind - in which case, what a little turd OR it was her mother, who happens to be embroiled in a very ugly custody battle with Mr. Baldwin. That, I would think, violates at least common decency, if not a court order. But what a coup for her team, right? "Goes to fitness, your Honor".
I'm not going to justify Mr. Baldwin's actions. He had every right to be angry that she didn't pick up, because she clearly is supposed to. He screwed up royally by venting to the voice mail. Kinda the technological equivelent of going out without panties. Someone is going to notice.
But the reason I'm not going to get all high and mighty about it is that I've heaped similar abuse on The Child. Yes, I have. So has her father. I'm not proud of it. I've hated myself for it when it has happened but yeah, I haven't always been in control of myself when dealing with her. Such episodes are far and few between. Most of the time I remember that I'm the grown-up, at least enough to walk away until I'm calm. But it has happened.
"But what he said was really awful," says you.
"You've never had an 11 year old, have you?" says me.
Most parents, one time or another, lose their cool. The ones who say they don't are either saints or liars.
Kids can be infuriating, intractable, selfish. Sometimes Mom or Dad loses it. It's shameful, it makes everyone feel terrible, but it happens. The difference for most of us, of course, is that we have the luxury of going to our child immediately, holding them and begging their forgiveness. And no one ever has to know. Unfortunately for Alec, now everyone knows that he lost it and gets to stand in judgement of him because of it. They get to shake their heads and point their bony fingers and "tut tut" about his lack of control. Because, like I said, that's what celebrities are for. We're all just lucky that people aren't photographing and taping our every move. Because I'd guess that even the best of you have moments that your glad no one else is privy to.
But I know my own truth and therefore can't claim any moral superiority. Mr. Baldwin's episode may help me think twice next time. Hopefully, it will help him think twice next time. But as much fun as it would be to throw stones, I just can't. I live in a glass house of my own. When I'm the perfect parent of my fantasies, then I'll spout off.
If, like me, you've been too busy to hear, Alec Baldwin is in trouble because he left a phone message for his 11 year old daughter in which he yelled at her and called her names. It was ugly and of course, the message got out into the ether.
First off, the phone call wasn't random abuse. He has a court-apointed time to call her, as he lives in New York and she's in LA with her mother, Kim Basinger, who is, btw, a model of mental stability. He called when he was supposed to, the kid didn't pick up. He got pissed and vented. A lot. Did I mention it was ugly? But 2 questions spring to mind. 1) If the phone call is a pre-arranged, court mandated thing, why didn't she pick up? Doesn't she know that daddy is supposed to call every day/week/whatever at such & such a time? And b) how is it we know about this? The message was leaked to TMZ, a gossip blog. 'K. Who leaked it? Either the kid, because she's got an axe to grind - in which case, what a little turd OR it was her mother, who happens to be embroiled in a very ugly custody battle with Mr. Baldwin. That, I would think, violates at least common decency, if not a court order. But what a coup for her team, right? "Goes to fitness, your Honor".
I'm not going to justify Mr. Baldwin's actions. He had every right to be angry that she didn't pick up, because she clearly is supposed to. He screwed up royally by venting to the voice mail. Kinda the technological equivelent of going out without panties. Someone is going to notice.
But the reason I'm not going to get all high and mighty about it is that I've heaped similar abuse on The Child. Yes, I have. So has her father. I'm not proud of it. I've hated myself for it when it has happened but yeah, I haven't always been in control of myself when dealing with her. Such episodes are far and few between. Most of the time I remember that I'm the grown-up, at least enough to walk away until I'm calm. But it has happened.
"But what he said was really awful," says you.
"You've never had an 11 year old, have you?" says me.
Most parents, one time or another, lose their cool. The ones who say they don't are either saints or liars.
Kids can be infuriating, intractable, selfish. Sometimes Mom or Dad loses it. It's shameful, it makes everyone feel terrible, but it happens. The difference for most of us, of course, is that we have the luxury of going to our child immediately, holding them and begging their forgiveness. And no one ever has to know. Unfortunately for Alec, now everyone knows that he lost it and gets to stand in judgement of him because of it. They get to shake their heads and point their bony fingers and "tut tut" about his lack of control. Because, like I said, that's what celebrities are for. We're all just lucky that people aren't photographing and taping our every move. Because I'd guess that even the best of you have moments that your glad no one else is privy to.
But I know my own truth and therefore can't claim any moral superiority. Mr. Baldwin's episode may help me think twice next time. Hopefully, it will help him think twice next time. But as much fun as it would be to throw stones, I just can't. I live in a glass house of my own. When I'm the perfect parent of my fantasies, then I'll spout off.
Labels: celebrity types, parenting
cobbled together by Moi at 10:06 AM
14 Comments:
I think it was something that Basinger staged to get a response out of him, and I suspect she's been doing it for years.
Yeah, you gotta ask who's got something to gain from all this. If she knows when he's going to be calling the kid it would be the easiest button to push.
If only Alec had begun his day by dancing with a man in a chicken suit . . .
Funny, we were just having coffee & that's exactly what he said!
I agree 100%. Sure, crucify the guy for calling the kid out and demanding accountability.
I'm sure her attitude has NOTHING to do with the fact the her 50 year old mom is shtupping 25 year old rappers in the living room.
And imagine if everytime a parent got angry, it was on the news.
THANK YOU!!! Seriously, I've been listening to guys talk about on the radio every morning and it's getting really annoying.
No kidding, Iwanski. The poor kid has enough to deal with just being a child of divorced celebrities. The fact that she lives with a whack job mom who no doubt lives to goad Daddy? Sheesh.
You're welcome, Molly. Remind me to yell at you next time I see you.
Thank you -- I've been wanting to find a way to not hate Alec Baldwin and now I can -- and I don't even need a cheap rationalization to do it.
That's what I'm here for, Red.
I've had an ex leave a provocative message on my machine,knowing my current would hear it...Kind of a reverse screwing..
In the words of JP, "See? Bitchy."
I'm with ya, I'm glad there hasn't been anyone recording my home parent/child conversations the last 15 years..
Oh, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN! I am SO glad you posted this because I said the exact same thing to The Spouse, who you'd think would understand given that his ex makes Basinger look like Mother Theresa and would pull stunts like this constantly before we got full custody. I think the difference for us was that the kids found every opportunity when not with us to call and didn't let the ex manipulate them the way Basinger clearly has with their daughter. I am so sad for the lessons this child is learning from her mother (How to Manipulate Dad and Get What You Want in One Easy Lesson) and for the parental alienation I imagine Alec is enduring.
For the record, I have never said anything like that to any of my kids...cough, cough...ooops, my halo just slipped. And it needs polishing. ;)
Grish, exactly. The only reason people get to stand in judgement in this case is because no one knows what they've said to their own kids.
Gina, NO! Not the halo!
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