Highlights of the Labor Day BBQ

Two messes. Someone's soda going all over the floor of the family room and an 8 year old dumping an entire bottle of green glitter on a 14 year old, causing him to announce, "I'm the Glitter Fairy".

Observing the social dynamics of children. The Child had invited both of The Boys and two young girls, both of whom worship The Child, were also coming. I was very curious as to how she would negotiate all that. As it turned out, the two youngest girls played happily with each other, initially leaving The Child to try and engage both of The Boys. Then another family arrived, bringing their 12 year old daughter, and she and The Child disappeared, talking about the things 12 year old girls talk about without much attention paid to either the younger girls or the older boys.

Observing The Child and The Boys. The evening wasn't without an element of soap opera. Boy 1, the one The Spouse is hoping is gay, was slow to warm to the situation. "I'm bored," he told me.

"Dude, it's a party. Go out there and talk to people".

"But I don't know any of them," he answered, still pouting.

"That's the whole point of a party...go introduce yourself and start meeting people". In the end, he didn't but he also got over himself, partly out of self-defense because it was clear that there was a comfort level between The Child and Boy 2 and also because Boy 2 didn't seem to be having the same trouble engaging new people. In other words, Boy 1 had to step up because he was going to be swamped if he didn't. The Spouse says he walked in on a couple situations which he judged as the Boys vying for The Child's attention (he called them "pissing contests", if you want to know the truth). And she, by his reading, wasn't minding that one bit.

I must stop here to tell you that this is all new territory for me. Not just because I've never raised a teenage daughter before but also because this was not my experience of boys. I did not possess a fraction of The Child's sparkle or general cuteness until well into my college years. (I was a very late bloomer). I sorta had 2 boyfriends in high school. The first one held my hand for 3 months and then stopped holding my hand. The second one I dated off and on for 3 years, mostly off. A lot of my history with boys was of the silent mooning about/unrequited variety. Thus, I have no concept of what it is like to be 12 and have 2, count them, 2 boys who you like and who like you back.

The Spouse wants me to have A Talk with her.

I will, because I don't want her to become one of those horrible femme fatale sorts of girls. She has to learn to use her power for good and not for evil. I just wish I knew how to relate.

Good conversations with very good people. The Labor Day bash is one of those to which we invite pretty much everyone we know, throw them all into the back garden and see what happens. There were new friends and old and everyone talked happily and laughed a lot. I suppose it stands to reason that if we like someone there is a darned good chance they will like the other people we like but I still love watching the chemistry work out.

Pastis. One guest, a Frenchwoman, was delighted to see a bottle of Ricard on the bar tray so I offered to have one with her. I got out my pastis glasses and pichet of chilled l'eau. (I'm very fond of the ceremony around drinking pastis, pouring the thick gold syrup, adding the water so it turns milky). Not many people of my acquaintance enjoy pastis so it was fun to share it with someone who appreciated it.

Inviting the neighbors. An odd beeping started somewhere in the middle of the party. It wasn't any of our timers or alarms, nor was it coming from The Neighbor's (who's out of town this weekend). The Spouse went to investigate and discovered that neighbors 2 doors down (henceforth known as The Canadian Guys) had set off their smoke alarm while making stuffed zucchini blossoms. This resulted in The Spouse inviting them over after their dinner. They came, bringing a bottle of very nice pinot noir and their articulate, amusing conversation. We are very fortunate in the caliber of our neighbors.

The moon, which was doing very artistic and dramatic things behind small cloud banks.

The food, of which only a smidge of baked beans was left. For this party everyone brings whatever they want to grill and we do the sides and desserts. The black bean and corn salad was a huge hit, studded as it was with fresh cilantro and sweet cherry tomatoes from the garden. But the Chinese Green Bean Salad had a lot of takers as well.

I think this is how I made it:

Bring a pot of salted water to the boil and add 2# frozen green beans. Cook for 3-4 minutes then drain and rinse with cold water to stop the cooking. (And sure, you could use fresh beans if you have them and want to take the time to snap 2# of them. Just cook a smidge longer, until bright green and still a little crispy).

In a large bowl whisk together:
2 cloves garlic, crushed
¼ c. rice wine vinegar
¼ c. olive oil
a few drops sesame seed oil
a couple teaspoons soy sauce
4 spring onions, chopped

Add the green beans and toss to combine all the ingredients. Sprinkle with sliced almonds (probably 1 cup or so) and red chili flakes to taste (I went easy on these because of all the kids). Toss again and chill until serving time.

We started the party at 5 and the last guests were gone by a little after 11 so The Spouse and I weren’t too tired to put everything back to rights. Which is great because that means we can spend today precisely as it should be spent, not laboring.