Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Routing the Insurgency

If I've learned anything in life it is that it is easier to quarterback from the sidelines than it is in the game. That's what makes war so hard. Well, one of the things. Because you might be very clear about your objectives. You might be sure of the rightness of your cause. You might have confidence in your generals and the strength of your troops. But you are still up against an enemy, an insidious enemy. Just when you think you have figured them out, they come up with another strategy. You destroy a stronghold and they find 3 more. You plug away, throwing the best you have at them, the body count grows but they just keep coming at you.

So despite the fact that I have put all the fruit and vegetables in the fridge, am taking all peelings and cores straight to the compost, despite setting cider vinegar traps that fill with their floaty little bodies, despite whacking wildly with a giant fly swatter, we still have a fruit fly infestation going on that is just bugging the snot out of me.

Despite my frustration, I will spend all day, if I have to, armed with intelligence from Google, to ferret out their hiding places, stop their little meetings and break their stranglehold on my kitchen. I could just wait for a killing frost but that could be weeks, even months from now. I can't cut and run because I'm responsible. Oh, but what was I thinking? Why did I think it was a good idea to leave out a bowl of plums in the first place? This could really hurt my legacy.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Yikes, soon you may have to haul out the malathyon like they do in California. I'll never forget growing up, having the midnight riding malathyon-laden freak-out machines (otherwise known as helicopters) spray the entire south valley and turn around right above our house. If that's not enough to give you nightmares, I don't know what is.

Good luck with the pestilence.

BBB

August 29, 2006 3:35 PM  
Blogger Lex Lata opined...

St. Patrick drove all the fruit flies out of Ireland by playing the Uillean pipe. It's a scientific fact.

August 29, 2006 4:41 PM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

You will win this, General Lorraine!

Stay the course, don't cut and run. The fruit fly insurgency is in its last throes.

And other stuff.

No really, Google is your best bet. Good luck.

August 29, 2006 5:14 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Why do I now all of a sudden want to play 'Age of Empires 3'...

Good luck with the fruit flies, I have a huge spider problem atm 'around' the house thankfully not 'in' the house yet...

August 29, 2006 5:30 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

Here is my advice;
Put some sweet,sticky liquid in small bowl(peppermint schnapps,or peach brandy works well)..They will go straight for it and become hopelessly entraped.It's kinda gross,but it keeps them off your plums..

August 29, 2006 6:26 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

May I suggest hiring irish lads, forced by privation to become mercenaries?

August 29, 2006 8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Giving away good schnapps and Brandy to the ungrateful fruit flies? I'm disappointed, Sling.

August 29, 2006 10:00 PM  
Blogger Otilia opined...

killing frost is next week in Northern Minnesota

August 30, 2006 6:08 AM  

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