Best Friends Since First Grade

She was a gift.

Halfway through 1st grade she joined the class. Already guaranteed popularity by virtue of the fact that the class was desperately short of girls, all the little misses reached out to her.

There was a potential glitch. The other girls, as I think I've mentioned in previous posts, were brats. Excluding The Child was one of their favorite games. Maneuvers to annex the new girl were in full swing. But it didn't work. She took a shine to The Child. And when she was told (yes, this really happened because BF told it to me) that she shouldn't have a playdate with The Child because "she's weird and you won't like her" she ignored them. With a little trepidation mind you, but ignored them. "And," she told me, "she was so funny and imaginative and nice and I had so much fun with her and I thought, 'What are those girls talking about?'"

So despite the plotting of evil little wenches, New Girl became Best Friend. Nearly every day for 2 and a half years either she was at our house or The Child was at hers. Weekend sleepovers were practically guaranteed. Best Friend preferred to come here because she was living with 3 brothers and a little sister and she liked the "peace and quiet". She became my other child. I loved her, not just because she had befriended my child when she most needed it but because she was a fun, sweet, helpful, darling kid. She fit into our crazy family and it almost seemed wrong of a Friday night to have our pizza and a movie if Best Friend wasn't there.

The two of them were quite a pair. Best Friend was tall and always looked at least a year older than she was, though she's only 3 months older than The Child. She has long, thick, dark hair and big brown eyes and a round face. The Child by contrast is blond and blue-eyed and thin as a rail. She was also a good foot shorter than Best Friend, a gap that has been made up in the last year so that they are almost the same height and I expect The Child will end up being the taller of the two. Best Friend has a gravity to her, as the oldest girl in the family, that The Child doesn't possess. But Best Friend brings it out in her and The Child, of course, pulls out all Best Friend's silliness and imagination.

From the time they were 6 they could practically read each other's minds. They flow in and out of play and projects and dancing as if they are one person. Seriously, I can only ever remember 1 fight between the two of the them. They might snark at each other from time to time but they have always, from the beginning, been able to work things out without convening a summit.

After 3rd grade, Best Friend's family moved to the other side, just barely, of the mountains. This was the saddest, most devestating thing that could ever have happened to The Child. She mourned for weeks. It broke my heart, too. (And frankly, that's when I should have moved her to a new school but I didn't, hanging in there for one more year. Bad mommy). But here's the thing: those girls really were true friends. And true friendship, even if you find it when you are little tiny, is not something easily threatened by distance. They stayed in touch, calling each other regularly. There were visits back and forth, sometimes for a day because the family happened to be in town, sometimes for a week of visiting each other during the summer. They both have made new friends but the bond holds. And I think it is an amazing thing, really. I have friends who I only see but once a year, if that, and when we are together it is as if no time passed. But that is because our friendships are based on shared values and interests as well as history. But children, so often, base their friendships on shared experiences as much as anything. Which would argue that The Child and Best Friend would grow apart over time. But it hasn't happened yet.

They are only 12. A lot can and will happen in the next 6 years, in the next 26 years. Childhood best friends don't always stay best friends, especially when they aren't living in the same town. But Best Friend has been a beautiful gift to The Child and to our family. No matter what the future holds we all have the fondest memories. I'm just glad that for now the girls are still making more of them.