Farmville Fashion

We begin in the apartments and on the boys' side, the Bottom Three are all waxing philosophical about how they need to "step it up". Then we go over to the girls' apartment and I'm basically looking at The Neighbor with a "who are these people"? The early weeks are sooooo difficult. (In fact, here's a thought...start the show with 10 designers. Maybe give 'em a few weeks of challenges with no aufing so much as point accumulation...just so we can really get to know them. Then start aufing away).

Heidi and her Seal Pup bump remind the the designers that Emil has immunity and then says that in an effort to "see what you are made of" they're going to be sent somewhere "a little out there". And one of the designers wonders if it could be the moon. Sure. Because Lifetime has that kind of budget.

Next shot is Tim, outstanding in his field (tee), surrounded by the models wearing potato sacks and Wellies. Oh, this is delightful. The designers are to demonstrate the age old adage about a woman being so beautiful she can even make a potato sack look good. The garment is going to be worn to an "industry event", the models are the clients and they get to pick their designers. (And then we have the obligatory hypocrisy where the last one chosen is all "what am I, chopped liver" to the camera and all "oooh, goody, I really wanted to work with you" to the model who chose her). The designers get to "shop" at a "farm stand" full of embellishments and then it is off to the work room.

This next bit is hard to express without audio but I'll try. Ping tells us in staccato: "I. want. to. play. with. the. texture. of. the. potatosack". It made us laugh.

Tim admonishes the designers to not lose sight of who they are even as they endeavor to please their clients. Mila (that's her name), who was chosen last and looks like a Vulcan, is talking trash to Gay Ghetto. Ping is confident, Anne Marie (I think) is doing potato prints on the potato sack, which is cute. and Pamela is engaged is a dying technique called ombre that is giving the burlap the vibe of denim.

Tim's Walkaround
Mila the Vulcan is fussing with some tulle embellishments and Tim believes it compromises the dress. And I ask, how in the world can tulle compromise anything?

Tim is "flabbergasted" by Jay's ambition and while he finds Ping's work "always intriguing" he explains to her the mechanics of the runway and how the very short skirt she has conceived will essentially provide a peep show for the judges. Jesus is admonished for obscuring the sack with embellishment. "You have, pardon the pun, skirted the challenge," says The Gunn. But Jesus plugs ahead, just like he did last week, because I guess when you have the same name as the Son of God it makes you think you too can walk on water.

The Runway
Guest judge this week was the inimitable Lauren Hutton. Bow down before her greatness.

Still too many looks to comment on them all however we loved Jay's dress and Amy's was a confection composed in burlap. Truly impressive and one of the few garments that was clearly made of burlap...but burlap transposed from itchy scratchy shapelessness into a soft, feminine blossom of a dress. Brilliant. And I know something of this. Growing up on a farm, I was well acquainted with the versatility of a potato sack. It upholstered the "furniture" in our tree forts, composed our Batman and Robin capes and yes, served as clothing for other playful endeavors - uncomfortable, unshapely clothing, but still. So Jay and Amy's work were triumphs of ingenuity and design.

There were also some decided misses, most notably yet another abomination from Jesus and a disturbing effort by Ping....some inexplicably wide shapes at the hip, a too short skirt and oh, what's this? The model's bum hanging out for all to see through an unfortunately gap in the back. Oy. "Thank goodness for the Brazilian wax," exclaimed MAB.

The Top Three

• Jay for creating a "really impressive" dress that Hutton said "made burlap look expensive".
• Mila, giving credence to my Vulcan theory, created a futuristic dress that was a hit with Heidi although she and Kors disagreed over the success of what he called "gapping" on the bodice. Nina praised her for taking burlap "from the farm to the future".
• Amy's dress was described as "just beautiful" and praised by Kors for really using the fabric and not disguising it. Hutton declared, enthusiastically but perhaps inappropriately "You made it!"

The Bottom Three

• Pam got snaps for her dye job, "it did look like denim" but Nina found the overall piece "too short, too tight and not sophisticated" while Kors lamented that a plain potato sack would have been more flattering. ("I think I had that dress," mused MAB. "It looks like something skanky I'd have worn to a disco in the 80s").
  
• Heidi conceded that Ping had an "edgy" eye but wondered if that was enough and Ping herself was reduced to tears over her model's skin tone and how it matched the fabric too much. I'm not sure she understood the real problem...which was the form defying shape of the skirt and the eewww factor of bare model bum.
• Jesus was questioned as to the percentage of burlap to other stuff and Heidi frankly told him that she "didn't see the challenge" anywhere in his garment while Hutton dismissed it as "a confused assault on the eye".

The Judging
Both The Neighbor and I picked Amy for the win, both because of the beauty of her dress and the successful transformation of what was still obviously burlap and Jesus to be out for yet again not heeding The Gunn and making something ugly.

Amy was, however, only safely in...which disappointed...and Mila the Vulcan, too, was safe. It was Jay who was declared the winner (beautiful dress, no question, but it was, we felt, farther away from the essence of burlap than Amy's dress).


Ping got lucky and she was grateful. And while Jesus' dress was deemed a disappointment for the way he covered up the burlap and turned it into something matronly, it was Pam who got the auf for a questionable taste level and the judges' concern that she didn't have the ability to be fashion forward.

While we were disappointed with the outcome, it was refreshing to have a show that was much more about the fashion than annoying personalities. (Gay Ghetto was a nominal presence compared to last week and Portland appears to still be on her meds). And perhaps best of all, "make it work" is back. The Gunn must have said it a half a dozen times last night.