Thursday, August 28, 2008

Project Runway:Gitcher Motor Runnin'

A little housekeeping. For those of you who just stop by for PR recaps, please note that NOM is no longer The Neighbor's Office Mate. Her name has been changed to MAB, My Awesome Boss.

Thank you.

The Management

Kenley is sad because she and Daniel were best friends and she misses him. Considering how she publicly mocked him 2 weeks ago, I'm thinking "with friends like that...." Meanwhile, Keith informs us in all his perfected arrogance that he wants to change the way the world dresses. My ambition is more simple. I want to kick Keith in the head while wearing a dress made of nothing but swatches which I will then burn after kicking him in the head.

Heidi sends the designers to the rooftop of a parking garage. There is speculation that perhaps they will be designing for some superstar or at the very least be going to a very hot party but it was better than that. Parked on the parking garage roof were, uh, cars. And Tim. And Chris Webb, who has the rocking cool job (I guess) of being Lead Color Stylist for Saturn. (And suddenly I'm wondering what Springsteen lyrics would have been like had he been gay..."I've got a '69 Chevy and it's bright baby blue..."). Mr. Webb announces that the cars are chock full o' car parts and that their task is to create something out of whatever they can grab. The key is "innovation" and, as Tim censoriously reminded them, they didn't "rise to the occasion" on the first (random grocery items) challenge so this time they'd better step it up.

4 minutes to grab stuff. Motor City Joe is all over this challenge. "Because they wear a lot of car parts in Detroit?" I asked. "No," said MAB, "Because they steal a lot of car parts in Detroit". Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure that this challenge is right up Stella's alley but Stella refuses to rush and pretty much just stands there picking out random stuff. Of course, they are all picking out random stuff and all completely without a clue as to what that stuff is going to become. But back at Parsons Tim tells them to "have fun" and they all start whacking parts to bits.

Keith is whining too much. He is whining about the crap he took from the judges last week. He's whining, fundamentally, because he's so brilliant and can't understand why no one else sees it. Whiney McWhinerson. (kick)

Stella surprises by deciding not to do a leathuh anything because that's "not innovative" (at least not for her). Nope. No leathuh and possibly no grommets. This time Stella is going to get outside the box and do something "pretty". Suede, on the other hand, is going to bleed fashion. Suede also gives another Great Beyond tribute, this time to his dad and a '66 Buick.

Korto is weaving seat belts, Kenley is drawing on air vents and Blayne is frustrated because car parts don't go easily into sewing machines. He simplifies his design (seat belts) so he can hand sew. LeAnne is doing a cocktail dress with a twist and is determined, if she uses them at all, to employ her seat belts differently than everyone else; a detail, perhaps?

Stella considers making a "Planet of the Apes" head-dress to accompany her vest/skirt ensemble and Blayne puts it on to do a Darth Vadar impression. Oh, those crazy kids.

Scary Terri asks Keith for his opinion and he whines again, this time about the judges. (Me, again, kicking his head).

Then the big crisis of the week. Kenley's model had to drop out so she's got Germaine (who was just auf'd) She is, I'm sure, a lovely girl, but has a completely different body than Shannon (or whoever). Kenley is freaked and nasal and whiny about the fact that she has to refit her entire garment. (See, Shannon was tall and thin, whereas Germaine is thin and tall).

Tim's Walk Around
Tim pretty much looks horrified at what Blayne is doing but, ever the diplomat, merely says "keep working". He finds the work Jerrel is doing "beautiful" and is impressed with Korto's "mod '60's look". He agrees with Stella that going for "pretty" is wise, but counsels that what she's doing isn't innovative enough. He says to LeAnne the most perfect Gunnian words any designer could wish: "It's extremely well executed and I get it". Keith, on the other hand, is whining again about having shown the judges his POV (relentlessly) but they don't fully appreciate it (whatever) and so he's going for something more streamlined and tailored and all those other things that equate to boring (I paraphrase). And The Gunn, in his infinite wisdom, suggest that he ought not design strictly for the judges but retain his POV. Which Keith dismisses.

I ask you: if Tim Gunn came up to you and said anything about anything would you dismiss him?

I thought not.

Terri mocks Korto's outfit and falls on the floor laughing. Korto says, "I'm hating on you" under her breath and Jerrel tells us that Terri has "2 faces and 4 patterns" and sums up that she's a bitch. MAB and I had already figured that out but still.

The designers as a whole are agreed that Keith has way too much "tude" (he's huffing and whining about sewing machines at this point) and we also learn that Stella is in a relationship with a dude called "Rat Bones". 'Nuff said.

Oh! And Keith gets super whiny at his model because the Loreal Paris Make-up Room people made her sit down when he'd expressly told her not to and so she tore the stupid ass skirt he'd put her in. And of course, he has to whine some more to camera about how he has more at stake in all this than anyone else. (kick kick kick)

The Runway
The totally fabulous and not-actually-pregnant-this-week Laura Bennett (Season 3) is filling in for Nina and guest judge is some chick named Rachael Zoe who we don't know but who, thanks to a Bravo promo, we learn has a show where she makes people cry.

Jerrel: The Neighbor liked this. I thought it looked like something that would be worn by someone who was about to be nailed by Cap'n Kirk.

Keith: YAWN.

Terri: she called it "hard core biker". Maybe. Although it was a cute top. But hi. Bikers not so much with the whole "cute top" thing.

Kenley: amusing. Skirt's a little boxy.

LeAnne: "That's haute!" said The Neighb.

Suede: like what he did with the car mat top but the skirt is way too pom-pom.

Korto: frakking beautiful coat.

Blayne: very first impression was a little bit of wow. Then the model walked in it. Eeeeww.

Joe: seriously forgettable.

Stella: first impact? Gotta love the notion of a tiered pencil skirt made of seat belts. But there seemed to be some construction issues and the the vest was icky with the skirt.

The Judging

Jerrel is actually in the top. Rachael, who makes people cry, found it "quite amazing and intricate". Kors raved that he gave the model "a look" and Heidi found it "very exciting and wearable".

Blayne, on the other hand, was told by Laura that the fit at the top of his garment was "disturbing", Heidi told him he'd get no sex for the next 7 years because of the broken mirrors on the bodice and Kors equated the skirt of his dress to those thingys that hang down when you go through a car wash.

Korto got raves for her beautiful seatbelt coat. Rachael said "I'd walk out the door in that" and Kors celebrated its "restrained drama".

LeAnne was also the recipient of mega raves. Kors found the silhouette "fabulous" and "interesting but chic". (Personally, I never found those two things mutually exclusive). Rachael declared herself "blown away".

Poor Stella, in striving for pretty, was dissed for being too random.

The big news was Keith. Rachael said his look was "confusing" and Laura added that there seemed to be "no concept".

Keith (under his breath): "You should see my other stuff".

Laura (with a look that I'm sure is well known to her 412 children): "Excuse me?"

Keith (first offering a protracted whine about the "sad chicken" comment from last week): "There's criticism and then there's insult".

Kors (puffing up on his seat and turning a deeper shade of orange): "Guess what???" (launches into impassioned "listen, Missy" lecture about the ups and downs of fashion, how people don't always love you and how you have to suck. it. up).

The Verdict

LeAnne won for taking a risk and being innovative. (Extra points for stuffing the model's underwear with muslin to make sure her little hip poufies stood out enough).

And Keith was auf'd for a look that was boring and poorly executed. Although I'd posit that he was also auf'd for being so pissy with the judges.

After the auf'ing it got ugly. Keith bawled. And bawled. And bawled. Like, to the point of making me super uncomfortable. Like, "sorry I wanted to kick you in the head" uncomfortable. He was beating his fists at heaven for the irony of going home after abandoing his POV to give the judges what he thought they wanted.

However, I overcame my discomfort and borderline regret for wanting to kick him in the head. For why? Because Keith's meltdown was a perfect example of his fundamental problem: he always found something or someone to blame and never took a smitch of responsibility for himself. And frankly, I think that's worth both a good auf'ing AND a kick in the head.



Blogger sfoofie opined...

I've saved up a stack of swatches - not to make a new Keith dress, but to toss them like confetti over his crying body. I'm sure he's still whining about cruelty and unfairity in this world. Good aufing this round judges! Can't believe we're getting to know Leanne a bit more....because I was thinking "yawn" for sure with that girl all the previous weeks.

August 29, 2008 5:12 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Sfoof, that would be an excellent use of swatches. I agree about LeAnne...every once in a while there will be a terrific burst of humor from her or a darling outfit and one thinks, "Hmmmm". Then the "hmmmmm" turns into a yawn for a few weeks and then it happens again. She could well be a sleeper, just hanging in there while all the "personalites" are finally auf'ed. Wouldn't it be interesting if she, Korto and Terri were the top 3?

August 29, 2008 5:53 AM  
Blogger Dant opined...

Those darn models and their selfishness! The nerve, sitting down in order to have hair and make up done. Keith deserves a re-do. Clearly it wasn't his fault!

August 29, 2008 6:14 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

I thought Korto's coat looked a lot like the yellow veggie plate she put together the first week. Same basic shape.

Carry on.

August 29, 2008 6:54 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Oh, and it was Jennifer who was "Holly Golightly" not LeAnne.

August 29, 2008 6:58 AM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

Yes! they got rid of Keith! Blaynes out fit was horrible but he can get kicked off next week. I have noticed none of these designers WOW me.

August 29, 2008 8:13 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Dant, poor, poor Keith: victim of circumstance and damn sitting down models. Life is so cruel to geniuses. (Yawn).

Ooh, Anne is finding a chink in Korto's armor. Maybe she's the one with only 4 patterns. It'll be interesting to see how she innovates as the field empties. And thanks for the fact-checking. Fixed it.

Sage, I was just thinking the same thing about not really being too thrilled by anyone yet. There's no Christian, no Laura, no one standing out and making me love them. (Of course, I hated Christian for a good half of Season 4 but I always loved his clothes).

August 30, 2008 8:38 AM  
Blogger Miranda opined...

This comment has been removed by the author.

August 30, 2008 10:49 AM  
Blogger Miranda opined...

"Because Keith's meltdown was a perfect example of his fundamental problem: he always found something or someone to blame and never took a smitch of responsibility for himself."

YES!! All I could think about when he was describing how he was designing for the judges this week was how this would end in abject failure and then he'd go on camera and whine, whine, whine about how the only reason he lost is because he didn't stick to his own personal aesthetic. OF COURSE he is going to blame being auf'd on some external factor. It's like he was so stressed out and his subconscious wanted him to leave so badly that his brain made him an ugly dress and a weak excuse to back it up. It's like kids who, instead of going to a test they aren't prepared for and trying to do well - risking a hit to the ego if they fail based on their own merit, skip the test and take the zero and then claim they could have done well if they'd gone.

Sorry, long-winded but ... I'm just so glad he's gone. I hope Stella or Blayne is next.

(First post deleted due to shoddy grammar!)

August 30, 2008 10:52 AM  
Blogger Elise opined...

I also fell prey to feeling sorry for Keith once he was well and truly shocked and bawling over his dismissal. It was just...uncomfortable and sad to see someone fall apart like that on TV. However! His attitude did him in, and maybe he'll learn from that...maybe?

As for the rest of your recap, bravo! I loved it. As always :)

August 30, 2008 11:58 AM  
Anonymous Polgarra opined...

'Whats the Word, Hummingbird?'

Anyways, just finished reading all your recaps and loved them. I dont hate Jerell as much as you but I do love Terri and Korto. I find that Suede and Blayne are humorous when they just casually say stuff. But when they are hamming for the camera (which is 95% of the time) then I really want to kick them in the head.

August 31, 2008 1:25 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Miranda, I will not miss him a bit and I'm feeling like Blayne really has to go soon. It's not just that he gets on my nerves (except when he cracks me up) but seriously, has he done anything but crap?

Elise, seriously, have you ever, ever, ever seen anyone fall apart to that degree on PR? I hope they found Keith a safe place and a blankie.More than that, I hope he grows up and learns to accept responsibility. Man, I hate that.

Polgarra, thanks for stopping by and for the nice words. Couldn't agree with you more about Blayne and (sometimes) Suede. The hamming it up thing coupled with the trying-oh-so-hard-to-create-the-next-great-PR-catchphrase gets On. My. Nerves.

September 01, 2008 7:46 AM  
Blogger Cliff O'Neill opined...

So very true! About Keith. And so much else!

Also ...

Laughing myself silly at the Laura Bennett's 412 children comments.

Fab as ever, Ratbones!

September 01, 2008 5:35 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home