Wednesday, May 14, 2008

This is Sad

Something disturbing happened yesterday. (No, not the election in West Virginia. Puleeze).

We were eating dinner last night, a lovely little repast of crab cakes and tomato salad, when all a sudden I noticed that the ruby in my wedding ring was gone. G.O.N.E. I know it had happened within hours, possibly minutes of my noticing but there is no possible way we'll find it. (I know only that it didn't fall into the crab cakes. Someone would have noticed that). The Spouse, Lord love him, was down on his hands and knees looking for it around my desk but, like I said, there is no way we'll find it. Most likely it is down a drain, well on its way to the Pacific by now.

It's sad, though. "We've had that ruby for 17 years," said The Spouse. We, you notice. It was as much his ring as mine.

When we got engaged there wasn't a lot of money between us. I told him I didn't need an engagement ring but he wouldn't hear of it. (The proposal had been very spontaneous, so the ring came later). We went to The Shane Company, because we believed their ads about being all affordable and customer service oriented and all that. I wanted a ruby, not a diamond. The Spouse told the salesman how much money we had, what we wanted and the guy proceeded to show us the crappiest, ugliest rubies you ever saw. Not to mention, the rubies weren't yet in settings. He basically showed us our budget in crappy stones, expecting to up sell us. We left. Depressed.

So we went to Nordstrom and bought The Spouse some workboots.

Then The Spouse spied Ben Bridge, a local institution, and suggested we go in there. I suggested we not...if we couldn't get a ring at (what I'd now come to think of as) Hairy Al's House of Low Rent Jewelry, we sure weren't going to be successful at Ben Bridge. But he figured nothing ventured, etc. etc. We went in. A lovely woman asked if she could help us and The Spouse said he wanted to look at rubies. She pulled out a tray of very sweet and perfect little rings and excused herself to help another customer. We looked through the tray and I knew almost immediately which one I wanted. It was like a little vine, a small ruby on a very thin band of gold that wrapped around the finger and ended with a small leaf that nestled the ruby. Inside the leaf was a teeny tiny diamond. It was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen.

Lovely Woman returned to see how we were doing. The Spouse indicated that we'd found something and then asked her "how much". She told us. We looked in shock at each other. "Oh," she said, and not at all patronizingly, "Is that too much? I have other things I can show you".

"No," said The Spouse, "That's perfect. We'll take it". My ring was less than just one crappy, unset ruby at Hairy Al's. The Spouse triumphantly paid cash on the barrel head and sweetly presented me with my ring.

By the time we got married, there was a little more money in the coffers so it was back to Lovely Woman at Ben Bridge. I wanted a larger wedding band and Lovely Woman basically designed my ring. They'd just got in a new shipment of diamonds and she suggested that the engagement ring be welded (is that what they do with gold) to the top of a larger band, with a diamond set on the other side of the ruby from the little leaf. It looks, to my mind, like a teeny posy of flowers. And the band is substantial. When The Spouse first put it on my finger at our wedding, my whole hand felt the weight of it. Talk about your symbols.

We both loved my ring. I would wave it at him and say "glint, glint, glint". It was truly "our" ring because he hadn't wanted a wedding band. Of course, within a few months of marriage he'd changed his mind about that, so for our first wedded Valentine's Day I gave him a band.

Cute story about that: at the coffee hour after church the next Sunday, we took it up to our priest and asked him to bless it. Father R, never one to do things by halves, pulled over 2 of our friends (later to be The Child's godparents), prayed over the ring, then had me put it on The Spouse with all the words from the wedding ceremony, followed by another marriage blessing for the two of us. It was pretty cool.

Anysparkle, after that we could both say "glint, glint, glint" and then we'd gently knock the rings together, rather like toasting with champagne flutes.

Point is, we were both a little sick and sad last night that our ruby has disappeared. I blame myself. Just the other day I was looking at my ring (I still look at it a lot, because it's so pretty) and noticed that it was really time to get the tips redone. The prongs that hold the stones wear down over time and have to be shored back up every so often. Because if you don't, well, the stones can fall out.

I really feel like an idiot today. I can honestly say that I have never taken this ring for granted. I love it. I think about its story and its meaning all the time. So losing the ruby feels a little like a kick in the gut.

I also feel like a chubby idiot because I can't get my ring off my finger. Seriously. I've soaped it up and that sucker isn't getting anywhere past my knuckle. Except it has to come off because a) the ruby needs to be replaced and 2) sleeping with a ring that is nothing but prongs is, uh, dangerous. Can they cut off wedding rings?

I'll find out. The Child has a dentist's appointment today not far from Ben Bridge. So while she's getting things drilled, I'll go in (Lovely Lady is retired, but they are all very nice there) and tell my tale of woe and see what can be done.


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Blogger jp opined...

More drilling? Poor child has endured enough already.

You lost your ruby on a Tuesday. There's a song about that.

May 14, 2008 9:32 AM  
Anonymous the neighbor opined...

So so sorry about your ruby - I was admiring it myself last time you came over for wine.

My sympathies :(

xo nayb

May 14, 2008 9:48 AM  
Blogger TWISI opined...

sorry about the ruby.

sweet story, pass the tissues please, i teared a bit!

May 14, 2008 10:18 AM  
Blogger Seattle Coffee Girl opined...

Oh, sniff sniff...this has me all weepy-eyed. I'll be thinking of you this afternoon when you make your pilgrimage to Ben Bridge.

Sniff again.

May 14, 2008 11:17 AM  
Blogger Nicole opined...

do you think St Anthony reads your blog?

May 14, 2008 11:30 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

sorry about your ruby. i lost an emerald out of my 10yr anniversary band. i know that kick in the gut feeling.

is the dentist trip included in journaling assignment?

May 14, 2008 11:35 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Naw, it's just a little cavity...which she wouldn't have had if she'd stop eating sugar and brush her frakking teeth once in a while.

And thank you for that musical perspective...I feel better now..."goodbye, Rudy Tuesday..."

Nayb, thanks. I'll need a cocktail tonight. Where were you yesterday, btw?

Thank you, Twisi. Here's the tissues and a cup of tea. There there.

Thanks, SCG. Mercy, you are a tender lot.

Nic, trust, I thought of him...but asking for his help would also imply that I was willing to dig through the recycling and the trash and the vegetable scrapings to find it. And I'm not.

Anne, yes, she will have to journal about her dentist visit. It will be exciting, after all, since I'm just dropping her off and not going with her. Such adventures!

Sorry about your emerald. This is why I shouldn't be trusted with the good jewelry.

May 14, 2008 11:46 AM  
Blogger sfoofie opined... mom lost her diamond from her ring. she searched high and low and had very sad feelings. just as she was about to get a new one, she found it perched right on a filing cabinet. so, it could happen that you found yours. wouldn't that be a lovely glint?
however, i wasn't even married yet when a side diamond fell out of my engagement ring. the lovely jeweler replaced it, but i couldn't help feeling kinda sad. i lost it outside of our apartment, so i couldn't have any hope of finding it.

May 14, 2008 11:59 AM  
Blogger Auld Hat opined...

I still say you will find it. It's too wonderful a history to have such a typical ending. It's like a tiny Princess Di. I refuse to accept this. You will find it in the most unusual place at the most unusual time, thus adding another layer to the rich story of it's existance. (fists to the heavens)

May 14, 2008 12:18 PM  
Blogger Auld Hat opined...

Also, were you part of the conspiracy surrounding JP's secret birthday yesterday? If so, I am most upset with you for denying me the right to make a big deal about it. pft

May 14, 2008 12:21 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Sfoof, isn't it odd? My diamond fell out shortly after we were married and since it was such a new ring the lovely jeweler replaced it for free but both The Spouse and I felt like it wasn't quite "ours" at first. The ruby, having been around longer, even more so. But I figure it's like marriage...somehow...still working out the metaphor (quickly checks filing cabinet)

Hat, well, at least, thanks to JP, we now have a song for the ritual that will no doubt be created around the event. And if, by some miracle, it does turn up, I'll have it set and attached to the existing band and won't that just be too utterly too too?

May 14, 2008 12:24 PM  
Blogger Leah opined...

I'm so sorry you lost your ruby Lorraine.:(

But you'll always have it's story and the memories that went along with it. And those are such sweet memories and a lovely story. :)

May 14, 2008 1:00 PM  
Blogger kingba opined...

Say what you want guys, if you did not get moved or even teary-eyed, you are jerks. And I can tell you, I don't give a rat's ass about rings, but Lorraine says it and you hear it, no BS, flat out there T.H.E.R.E., and you fell it.

I am so sorry, Rainey!

Now: what's the scoop? Any.... miraculous re(dis)covery? any findings at Ben Bridge?...

Keep us posted, the world with a heart (there is also a world without any heart) wants to know

Hugs and sympathy

May 14, 2008 2:15 PM  
Blogger kingba opined...

I meant "she says it and you FEEL it, with two Ees.... sorry about the typo

May 14, 2008 2:16 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

Very sad and such a sweet story....I almost lost my stone at dinner in a restaurant was in one of those slot settings and it just slid out onto my napkin in my lap!!!

May 14, 2008 4:44 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

You can have your ring cut off,and expanded.
After my Father retired,he got into jewelry making as a hobby,and I used to accompany him on his rounds.
If you can wait for a local gem show to come to town,you can get rubies all day long for..well,let's just say the retail markup on precious stones is about 20 kidding.
Your local jeweler will set the stone for a nominal fee...That's how we did it.

May 14, 2008 4:52 PM  
Blogger booda baby opined...

Oh, Lorraine! That's a beauteous tale. I wish I lived across the street. I'd go ruby hunting.

I believe very much in little talismic things reappearing. (Not 'believe' in a weird way, but I have a super talent for losing beloved tinies and they do reappear for me in direct proportion to how dear they are.) So, I'm counting on that happening with your ruby.

And that is that.

(I'm off to beg the Universe to step up and reveal the hiding place. Or spit it back up from the drain.)

May 14, 2008 5:25 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Leah, that's the way I look at it. And if I have to get a new stone, well, sometimes you have to bring new things into a marriage to keep it fresh, right? Might as well be a precious gem.

Kingba, clearly these are all very caring people. They surprise even me with their tender hearts. Thank you for your good wishes. The ring was successfully removed from my finger and when it has returned to a normal size, the ring will be restored to fit.

Hugs, Rosie. (runs to gently shake out the napkins from last night...)

I hear ya, Sling. I'll probably end up paying as much as the ring is worth to have it retrofitted. The good news is that the jeweler said it could be a month before my finger has returned to normal so if the ruby turns up before then we won't actually have to sell The Child into white slavery.

Booda, re: the above, please inform the Universe it has 4 weeks to cough up the goods. You are very kind. I wish you could go ruby hunting, too!

May 14, 2008 6:26 PM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Sorry to hear about your ruby, Rainey!

But just remember that the real jewel is the love that you and the Spouse share. That's more beautiful than any ruby or diamond could ever be. :)

May 14, 2008 6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha (Note no W)

I agree with miss healthy. Sweep the kitchen floor really well. Hhhmmm. Probably the first thing you did. Oh well.

Workin on Peter Pans set. Want something to do?



May 14, 2008 9:34 PM  
Anonymous DoraLong opined...

I'm so sorry Cuz! But I bet it does show up one of these days in the most unlikely place imaginable. I have a secret fear someday I'll lose the diamond in my engagement ring- the stone was his mother's and truly could never be replaced.

PS- have you given olive oil a shot??

May 15, 2008 3:47 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You're absolutely right about that, MHP.

Anonyba, trust...I'll be carefully inspecting all my sweepings up for the next little bit. Good luck with the set, btw. We're kinda booked the next little bit but if we're at loose ends this weekend we'll give you a call.

Thanks, Cuz. The olive oil comment had me confused for a minute...somehow I imagined pouring olive oil on the floor as if it had the power to magically call rubies. Then I realized what you meant. And trust, it wouldn't have worked. Last time I took off this ring I was a size, what, 6? Now I'm a 10. You do the math.

May 15, 2008 7:51 AM  
Blogger greeny opined...

A sweet story, yes. I don't get fine jewelry for that reason. I can't keep it.
Sorry I haven't been very attentive lately, Lorraine. I have just been in the deepest funk...
I feel good when I visit you, tho so I'll come round a bit more.

May 15, 2008 7:43 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Greeny, me, too. Besides the wedding ring I have a pair of ruby earrings he gave me for Christmas (one of which has been missing for over a year) and the sapphire necklace he gave me for my 50th birthday. Love them, of course, but I'm way more comfortable with faux jewels. No kick in the gut when they go missing.

And don't be in a deep funk, my friend. Hugs and hugs.

May 15, 2008 7:56 PM  
Anonymous Syd opined...

I'm so sorry about the loss of the Ruby o' Love (even though the Love is really more important than the Ruby o' same). Should the original stone not turn up in time for resetting, then I hope the jeweler gets in a truly lovely one for a replacement.

And I wish I hadn't been traveling and missed this saga, as I'd have suggested an alternate method for removing your ring (as seen on a PBS show with Graham Haley, although I don't know if he came up with it or not): wrap the ring-bearing finger tightly with dental floss, from just above the ring to beyond the knuckle, and the ring should come off easily.

Oh, well...I'd say maybe for next time, but I hope there isn't a next time!

May 19, 2008 1:46 AM  

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