Project "Are You Out of Your Freaking Minds?"

Still reeling from last week's auf'ing of Kevin, I went into last night's episode with faint but beating hope. Alas. And also, alack.

The models strutted out at the top of the hour with big and in some cases, outrageous, hair dos. The challenge, to pick a model and using her hair as inspiration, develop an avant garde look. Teddybear Chris was thrilled as "artistic and conceptual" is what he does. As you would expect, the models with the most interesting hair were chosen. Ricky went last, again, and this time he managed to make his selection without getting too emotional. Just a little tearing up. Btw, he has now replaced Christian as the designer I most want to bitch slap.

In the workroom Tim gives more details, specifically that it's going to be a team challenge. Oh. Ouch. We hate the team challenge. No good can come of it. I began to eye Victorya for a glimpse of her claws, especially when she was paired with sweet, gentle-as-a-flower Jillian. Victorya eats girls like Jillian for breakfast. Victorya did what she did last time, being all passive-aggressive about not wanting to be the team leader and Jillian (who knew from experience that a) Victorya was going to do whatever the hell she wanted anyway and therefore she, Jillian, was b) consequently screwed either way) was equally reluctant to step up. They tossed a coin. Victorya was the team leader. Jillian was mostly OK with that, although as they sketched, she expressed a concern to Victorya that they be able to "solidify a story". It made sense at the time.

The other pairings were Rami with Sweet P, Christian with Chris and Kit with Ricky. $300 to spend at Mood. "Thank you, Mood". Oh! And once in teams, they also had to agree on just one model to use, further winnowing down to the hair styles that were the most, uh, inspiring.

Team Fierce (Christian and Chris) set right to work with 45 yards of organza and a great deal of humor. Mr. Thing, who seems just the smidgest bit chastened by the events of recent weeks, was actually entertaining to me this week. Not once did he make my palms itch. And he even made me laugh when he noted: "If I was a diva my name would be 'Ferosh'."

Kit had an idea of something that was all about layering and "nesting", since their model's hair looked like "a bird nest". OK. Ricky seemed to understand but noted that he didn't want the look to be too "Little House on the Prairie". I figured, hey, it's Kit. It'll make sense when she's done.

Rami, it turns out, is a complete control-freak-bitchmeister. Seriously. I no longer like him and he will not do for The Hat's husband. He was r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s. Almost from the beginning he started riding poor Sweet P, finding fault with just about everything she did or said, picking holes, griping at her to hurry up, fretting in the confessional. He was the poster child for Valium. At one point he even made Sweet P cry and that was just completely unacceptable. Not to mention, he had absolutely no interest whatsoever in her input. Rami, there is no I in TEAM. Jerkface.

Tim comes in on the second day with a "special announcement". The other models were not going to go to waste. Oh, no. The designers have to come up with another look for the runway - a ready-to-wear interpretation of the avant garde look. He noted that all designers have to do this.

That is true. You look at the big shows at the start of the fashion season and it's all kinds of craziness that makes you say "No real person would wear that". And they wouldn't. Which is why the designers then develop a prêt-à-porter line that makes their big ideas accessible to average consumers. Although, to be fair, they don't have one day to do it.

There's some panic, especially over at Team Last Minute, where Victorya and Jillian, who both admittedly have time management issues, aren't even remotely done with their first look. Much scrambling ensues. Each team gets 15 minutes to "caucus" (I love when Tim Gunn says "caucus") and then has to send one person to Mood to spend another $50 for the second look.

Rami continues to create drama. Sweet P suggests there is "too much stuff" on their avant garde outfit. (Tim later concurred). Rami just won't listen. Chris meanwhile says that he wants the judges jaws to drop when they see his and Christian's creation and at that moment the camera panned over their dress and my jaw, uh, dropped. It was WOW.

The Gunn Critique:

Team Fierce: "Staggering!" for the avant garde outfit, "dubious" for the ready-to-wear. (I loved it).

Team I Don't Have a Clever Title for Kit and Ricky: "Make it exuberant".

Team Crazy Rami: "Is it going to surprise them or is it what they expect?" followed by the ever foreboding "I'm worried".

Team Last Minute: "Fabulous" for the coat they were doing but concern that they needed to finish Look 1 and start on the second. (They did pull it out, with Jillian tossing off a little black dress that was perfectly acceptable although it was, by her own admission, an "afterthought").

By now Rami and Sweet P aren't even speaking and P tells us she wants to make the ready-to-wear as strong as possible in case they are in the bottom so she has something to fall back on.

Guest judge for the runway was Alberta Ferretti.


Rami's look was deemed "not avant garde" and Kors expressed the concern that all he does is drapes. (That sounded funny).

The P was very diplomatic about what went on when they were "working" together and it was clear the judges were, once again, not impressed by a team leader who ran roughshod over the team. Heidi noted "the only drama you gave us was between you and Sweet P".

Here's Sweet P's dress, in a photo that doesn't begin to do justice to how great it was. Nina said that this dress was more "forward thinking" than the avant garde thing Rami did.
Joining Rami and P at the bottom of the judging were sweetie pie Kit and Blubber Baby.
Kit's look was "pretty but not couture, not avant garde". That was the first assessment. Later they got real tetchy, with Ferretti saying it looked "like the Scarlett O'Hara, no?" and Kors coming back with "it looks cheap...at least when Scarlett ripped those draperies down she made something fierce". (I don't remember if he actually used the word "fierce" but all the cool kids are doing it now).
OK, it's a little Gunne Sax but it is not completely hate-able.

As for Ricky's ready-to wear dress, they thought it was "equally disappointing":Well, sure. Because it's frakking Ricky! Who was, as the bottom tier left the runway for the first time, gushing big fat tears.

As for the two top teams:

This was the avant garde outfit for V and J. Riffing on the model's stylistic mohawk, they developed something V described as "punk with an equestrian leitmotif". Okay. Whatever. It was awesome. And when the model removed the superfabulous coat, the shirt and pants stood alone as a fine outfit, causing Victorya to "joke" that since they actually created three looks, they should win. Christian, quite hysterically, rolled his eyes.

Jillian's ready-to-wear may have been an afterthought but it was darling. She used the same tartan that lined the coat to edge the ruffles on the dress. It was kicky and charming.

As for the boys, they got everything they wanted. Nina just about died when she saw this gown, which is, let's face it, nothing but fabulous.

And Christian's rendering of the organza/ruffle theme into ready-to-wear was enthusiastically affirmed as "chic".
I would soooo wear that.

For the first time in a while, the judges got the winner right, giving the honors to Team Fierce. Yay for them. Love me my Teddybear and like I said, not hating Christian so much anymore.

Going to the final break The Neighbor first noted that she is really sick of the Mucinex ads and would like them to stop. She then added that she was afraid for Kit.

"No," I said with authority. "Look, they totally messed up last week sending Kevin home. Ricky is in the bottom ALL THE TIME. His clothes are totally lame. Kit has been way excellent every time. There is NO WAY they are going to auf her and leave him standing again. NO. WAY".

I am totally right about that. In the parallel universe that is Project Runway, however, it was in fact the more talented of the two designers who was auf'ed.

So I have a theory and I'm standing by it: Ricky has compromising pictures of Nina and Michael. Farm animals are involved.

There is NO other explanation for what happened last night.