Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Over-using I Statements

I am very upset about Heath Ledger. Very upset, indeed. I was saddened by the passing of Suzanne Pleshette as well, because we love her, do we not? But the thing with Heath, well, that's just shocking and sad.




I am supposed to meet a client today but am sick. The Child and Spouse have already had this particular contagion. I fended it off prior to the weekend but it is here now, lodging primarily in my throat. The Spouse finds that amusing because I sound like Estelle, Joey's agent on "Friends".

"Joey, dahling, I have a job for you. How do you feel about getting naked?"

OK, that's not remotely funny when you just look at the written word. But trust, when I do it with my just-had-my-first-two-packs-of-Marlboro's-for-the-day voice, it's funny.

Point is, I think I should probably stay home and drink more honey and lemon and maybe I can see her tomorrow.




I love my superfantastic hair but as is the way of all haircuts, I had to wash it and now it's not quite as superfantastic. I need a flat iron, apparently. Rats.





I was trying to sleep the other night while The Spouse was watching a show about what would happen to the earth if humans were suddenly gone. It's the sort of show that I hate most. First, they decided that they had to set up the circumstances by which there would be no more humans, which involved Mayan calendars and Revelation and Nostradamus and chicken innards all mooshed together.

(BTW, apparently we only have 'til 2012, so I'm saying, get out there and drive up those credit card balances and take that trip you've always wanted. What the hey hey).

Anygoo, then the show launches into the steps by which Earth will revert to an entirely natural "you'd never even guess they'd been here" state. And at first I was totally annoying The Spouse because when they'd talk about all the power plants shutting down and the world being plunged into darkness (except, apparently, where the Hoover Dam is, 'cause that sucker is good to go for a while without any help) and I'd say, "Who cares?"

Because, let's face it, if there's no one around to notice that the lights have gone out, it's not really that dramatic. Right? The drama was when the big plasma whatsadingy happened and we were all vaporized or whatever.

There was one thing that I thought was cool (and remember, I was trying to sleep so I was just coming in and out of all this). Apparently the cats are going to live in the high rise apartments and they might even learn to fly. I think that is just adorable.

Unfortunately, if it comes to that, we won't be here to see it. More's the pity.

(Meanwhile, I'm still puzzling over how it is that dogs, cats, rats and other such like are going to survive what we couldn't. I probably should have been paying more attention).



I heard a rumor that the writer's strike is going to be settled in time for Hollywood to have a proper Oscars ceremony. That would be pleasant, don'tcha think? Except now I have to steel myself to see pictures of Suzanne Pleshette and Heath Ledger during the In Memoriam bit.

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24 Comments:

Blogger Br. Jonathan opined...

I was up with The Spouse watching that show. We're alike in that way. The show also showed the Space Needle crashing down the same time as the Eiffel Tower. Wrong! That Space Needle is built to last much longer. Shheeesh!

Yes, the thought of flying cats is fun.

Since we only have until 2012, want me to run up my credit card, fly out there and do your hair? I will, you know.

January 23, 2008 7:09 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Bring a flat iron. And since I don't have to worry about debt either, I'll build a room for you before you get here.

January 23, 2008 7:12 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Drink some of this for your throat with lots of honey.
Feel better.

January 23, 2008 8:16 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Oh, and hang in there, the Runway is on tonight. If I can stay awake that long.

January 23, 2008 8:17 AM  
Blogger Eric opined...

For the record, the apocolypse BS was a different program that the History channel ran prior to the show in question. the show never addressed the HOW but merely looked at the What If. Their conclusion was that the modern world would be reclaimed by nature in about 1000 years.

January 23, 2008 8:19 AM  
Blogger Dana opined...

Hmmm.
I wonder if the timing of that show has anything to do with I Am Legend being in the theaters...
The best part of that movie was seeing what would become of NYC after 3 years with no people--Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
(Also scary virus monsters, but I'm guessing your show didn't mention them.)

January 23, 2008 8:28 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Ooh, Anne, that sounds like yummy tea! And yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll have to take a nap in order to face the Runway tonight.

Ladies and gentleman, my husband, the fact-checker. Thank you, dear. So no to the running up of the credit cards and travelling to wherever?

I don't remember if there were scary virus monsters, Dana. Pretty sure there weren't any zombies either. Still. Did "I Am Legend" have penthouse-living-flying cats?

January 23, 2008 8:36 AM  
Blogger Kimberly Ann opined...

The loss of Heath Ledger is shocking, like River Phoenix or any other "wow, they were so young" type. But somebody should slap his face for doing drugs (if that was it) especially when he has a little daughter. Ok, well, don't slap the corpse, but you know what I mean.

January 23, 2008 9:00 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Kimberly Ann, I am desperately hoping for an "accidental overdose" verdict...combining things that ought not have been combined because he didn't know, or something. He never seemed like the River Phoenix type.

January 23, 2008 9:11 AM  
Blogger Kimberly Ann opined...

I agree, he seemed a really decent guy. I hope that it was accidental as well. I'm with you on the Oscar tribute; those things are so tough to watch.

January 23, 2008 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

I love cats, but the thought of them flying around scares the crap out of me, especially if they're not de-clawed. Good thing I'll be dead.

Go get a flat iron. I cannot stress how important this is.

January 23, 2008 9:23 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

JP, on my list of things to do today. Trust.

January 23, 2008 9:37 AM  
Blogger Willym opined...

Flying cats? Damn has any body told the dogs? And given the rate at which nature use to overtake my garden every summer I think that 1000 year estimate is way wrong!

Ironing your hair - isn't that sort of well 70s???? I'm only asking?

January 23, 2008 9:59 AM  
Blogger TWISI opined...

My neighbor is convinced that the world will end as we know it on 12-12-12.... what the eff ever!

He constantly reviles us all with how the Myans stopped making the calendar on that date, which means the end of the world as we know it. I always ask don't you think maybe they just got tired of writing down numbers and dates?

January 23, 2008 10:09 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Willym, everything old is new again. And what you said about the gardens? Oh, yeah. 1000 years is crazy talk.

Twisi, see, that's what I think. Some Mayan somewhere said, you know, I'm ready for a career change. This calendar making stuff just isn't making it for me any more. And his boss was all, "But Ah Cuxtal, you're the best calendar dude we have in the company!" and Ah Cuxtal would be all, "Yeah, but I really want to cash in my 401K and open a little cafe somewhere. My brother knows of this little spot in Chiapas"...and his boss was all, "Well, we're really going to miss you, man, but good luck".

And then they just decided to stop making calendars altogether.

Btw, on 12-12-13 I'm so coming to your house and we can stand and laugh at your neighbor.

January 23, 2008 10:50 AM  
Blogger Nicole opined...

I'm very sick too. You have all my compassion.

January 23, 2008 11:21 AM  
Blogger Blogger opined...

Yeah, Heath Ledger's death has really upset me too, in a way I couldn't have predicted. Very sad.

And as for that programme your husband was watching... I guess everything they say in Britain about American TV is true...

January 23, 2008 11:24 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Wasn't that the same Cuxtal dude to invent that famous beverage known as hot chocolate?

January 23, 2008 11:31 AM  
Blogger Doc opined...

So sad about Heath...and I personally think that it's even worse that the press is going to report and OVER report every last detail... a person can't even die in peace these days due to the 24 hour news and paparazzi

January 23, 2008 11:58 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

I shall think of you on my next dose of honey and lemon, Nic.

All that youth and talent, Dariush. I think that's what it is. That, and it's going to bum me out now every time I watch "A Knight's Tale".

American TV. Pft.


Totally, Anne. It was such a hit that he franchised the concept and opened a chain of cafes all over Central America.

Ain't that the truth, Doc? I used to say that I wanted to die in my sleep at a ripe old age. Now I have to ammend it to say, "without the press".

January 23, 2008 1:29 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

My 2 cents worth...I think the way the Heath thing was handled was horrible...the family found out thru the media. Gawkers all over the place and the stupid official somebodyorother talking about pills in the room. Give the man his due dignity and his family some space. Crap. As for the spouse being exact in his facts....Is he maybe Steve's brother or cousin because they are for sure from the same gene pool.

See? See? That's why I have cats...they would scoop me up from the vapor trail and save me because of all of the special canned food I have given them over the years....and not cheap stuff either. Same for the dogs.

January 23, 2008 1:39 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

oops....I hope you feel better Lorraine....ZINC...take one a day....I swear by them. Kiss, kiss but only air kisses because I don't want to catch what you have.

January 23, 2008 1:40 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

I plan on surviving the apocalypse,dining quite nicely on honey lemon ale,and flying cats.

January 23, 2008 5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

It's true folks. She did the Estelle voice to me on the phone earlier today and it killed.

January 23, 2008 6:39 PM  

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