Seattle Ink
As many of you know, my 50th birthday is approaching. This is NOT a bad thing.
A) No way I look 50. (50 is the new 40).
2) No way I act/think "old".
3) I am really superfantastically happy with my life, my marriage, my kid, my path.
But still.
50 is, I don't know, kinda huge. It's a big round number that symbolizes a whole frak of a lot. (Which I'll probably muse on over the next few weeks). But the point is, when I celebrate this auspicious occasion and after the daube pot is empty and the champagne corks are swept away and the guests have gone, I kinda want something to show for it.
When The Child was turning 10, I thought about getting some ink. Now, this was a very radical thought. I don't have any objection to tats. Sometimes, when I'm surfing channels and see a few minutes of "Miami Ink", I even think they're pretty cool. But then I flash on myself at 90, in some nice little nursing home run by Benedictines, and I think that there is no way some minimum wage lackey should have to bath my sorry old arse AND have to look at what used to be a tattoo of a rose on said arse.
But the milestone of her birth approached and I was thinking it and mentioned it to a friend at a wedding. He said, "Oh. Honey. Please. Diamonds are forever".
Well, I didn't get diamonds when The Child turned 10 but I didn't get any ink, either.
The other night, in one of my post-Battlestar, pre-Sex and the City, channel surfing moments I caught an episode of "LA Ink", the spin-off of aforementioned "Miami Ink" and all of a sudden I thought, "Dang. Some ink. A tattoo of the Eiffel Tower. Right here!" (I said to myself, pointing to myself's right hip).
I told The Spouse. Who basically said, "Honey, you're going to be 50. Do what you want".
And I started thinking, "Yeah. I could do it now and it would be all healed by my birthday and by the time of my party I'll have lost the 6 pounds I gained in frakking Chicago and I can wear something just superfantastically amazing, with a midriff reveal and there I'll be, all 50 and crap and sportin' a tat of the Eiffel Tower". Huzzah.
So the other day I mentioned it to The Child. Who replied, "Oh. Mom. Are you serious? A tattoo? Oh, no, no, no. Do you have any idea how much those things hurt? And what if you change your mind? It really, really hurts to have them removed".
And in that moment I knew. I'm turning 50. I'm so getting some diamonds.
A) No way I look 50. (50 is the new 40).
2) No way I act/think "old".
3) I am really superfantastically happy with my life, my marriage, my kid, my path.
But still.
50 is, I don't know, kinda huge. It's a big round number that symbolizes a whole frak of a lot. (Which I'll probably muse on over the next few weeks). But the point is, when I celebrate this auspicious occasion and after the daube pot is empty and the champagne corks are swept away and the guests have gone, I kinda want something to show for it.
When The Child was turning 10, I thought about getting some ink. Now, this was a very radical thought. I don't have any objection to tats. Sometimes, when I'm surfing channels and see a few minutes of "Miami Ink", I even think they're pretty cool. But then I flash on myself at 90, in some nice little nursing home run by Benedictines, and I think that there is no way some minimum wage lackey should have to bath my sorry old arse AND have to look at what used to be a tattoo of a rose on said arse.
But the milestone of her birth approached and I was thinking it and mentioned it to a friend at a wedding. He said, "Oh. Honey. Please. Diamonds are forever".
Well, I didn't get diamonds when The Child turned 10 but I didn't get any ink, either.
The other night, in one of my post-Battlestar, pre-Sex and the City, channel surfing moments I caught an episode of "LA Ink", the spin-off of aforementioned "Miami Ink" and all of a sudden I thought, "Dang. Some ink. A tattoo of the Eiffel Tower. Right here!" (I said to myself, pointing to myself's right hip).
I told The Spouse. Who basically said, "Honey, you're going to be 50. Do what you want".
And I started thinking, "Yeah. I could do it now and it would be all healed by my birthday and by the time of my party I'll have lost the 6 pounds I gained in frakking Chicago and I can wear something just superfantastically amazing, with a midriff reveal and there I'll be, all 50 and crap and sportin' a tat of the Eiffel Tower". Huzzah.
So the other day I mentioned it to The Child. Who replied, "Oh. Mom. Are you serious? A tattoo? Oh, no, no, no. Do you have any idea how much those things hurt? And what if you change your mind? It really, really hurts to have them removed".
And in that moment I knew. I'm turning 50. I'm so getting some diamonds.
Labels: birthday
cobbled together by Moi at 9:36 PM
23 Comments:
How does Little Miss Thing know so much about tattoos? [loads shotgun.]
My kid thinks the same thing about tats. I'm seen LA Ink, it makes them look kinda cool. Oh well, diamonds it is.
But I've got a couple years to wait for them. drat.
Tattoo. Diamonds draw more blood, and kill lots more innocent people.
Been there, thought about tats, seen them as a nurse and yes, talked about that patient and wondered.....had my daughter do the "My gawd mother, you are 50...55...60" Of course she has 9+. Diamonds are so much more fun and capture so many colors! I'd go for an anniversary type with diamonds all around the ring so that you feel it all the time rubbing on the next finger.
Isn't diamond the symbol of 50? Why not get a diamond tattoo?
Hell you're 50, if you want a tat, get a tat.... I am sure the Child will get things you don't like... she is busting down the teen years door!
Dude! they don't hurt that much. I promise. There is discomfort and the most. Do it! It's no worse than those TB tests we used to get. You know with the 4 poke needle things?
I highly doubt by the time you're 90 you will care that your Eiffel Tower has turned into the leaning tower of Pisa.
GO FOR THE INKAGE!
(also, Tater is right. A tat only hurts you...
and the future staff at 'Old Folks R Us')
You don't look a day over 35, which, by the way, is younger than me. Diamonds sound perfect.
My opinion: Tats are just way too permanent and faddish. What if you get the Eiffel Tower and some crazy fool (Bush) blows it up? Then you're stuck.
You can always hock the diamond.
I heard that gun cock from here!
I think this means we must be entirely too susceptible to TLC, Anne.
Good point, Tater. Isn't there such a thing as blood-free diamonds nowadays? Oh, hell, rhinestones will do.
Good advice, Rosie.
I don't know that she's opposed to them in principle, Twisi; but she sure doesn't like the idea of them on me. Which I will file away for future reference.
Oh, reality check, Monica. Needles. Duh.
I don't know, Hat. I think I might in fact care that it is less monument like in years to come. Shallow like that.
That's awfully sweet of you to say, Nicole, considering you looked about 18 when I saw you in Chicago!
But Buck, if some idiot blew it up then it would be emblazoned forever upon me. I could sell tickets.
I'm hoping you reconsider and go for the ink. A tattoo on your hip won't hurt that badly -- it's not the needles that hurt (they barely graze the surface of the skin), it's the vibration of the needles, meaning that ankle tattoos hurt way more.
And once the tattoo is healed, the little bit of pain you experienced is SUCH a distant memory, and you've got this great thing on your body that you just love, love, love.
FYI, I don't encourage anyone to get a tattoo -- just people who clearly want them.
It's a milestone lorraine,and in keeping with your new theme song..Do both!
There are other forms of body modification you might find more appealing. There's piercing, scarring, and my favorite, subcutaneous microchip implanting. For paranoids really trying to make a statement.
It just slays me that The Child got all parental on your arse. LOL!
Diamonds. Totally.
How about a teeny-tiny diamond nose piercing like my sister has? :)
Sling, that would be fabulous!
Lex, tell me how you really feel.
SCG: I sneeze too much for a nose piercing. And I never noticed that Linds had a diamond in her nose. Where have I been?
it doesn't hurt so bad unless it's on a very thin skinned area. I highly discourage toe tattoos. don't ask. Elsewhere, it feels like someone pulling a sharp pencil point across a sunburn. It hurts, but it's about 1/1000000 of childbirth.
Diamonds, I'm with Tater. How 'bout some Grillz? Now that's a look ...
Diamonds never succumb to gravity..
Don't yell at me tate! Certified rocks from Canada.. The Conflict-Free Diamond Council's web site is very helpful. Got my turning 45 ice, and didn't have to feel guilty in the least. OK, there was the price tag, but still.
Gtillz, Cowbell? Now you're just mocking me.
Doralong, "Diamonds never succumb to gravity"...that's it right there!
I swim with a lady - appears to be between 80 & 90 years old. She has a large floral tattoo on her shoulder. I can't really describe it better because the wrinkles and sagging skin have made it very blurry. Old wrinkled skin is part of being old, and this tattoo does not add to her beauty. I wish I knew her better, I would like to ask her about why she got it. So, the ink may not add beauty, but it will add some mystery.
See, Mom. That's why you are the Mom...wise and wonderful.
Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. Plus it's pretty much an art form.
Fifty? You're turning FIFTY? You are such a liar! You don't look a day over 35. Honest.
Diamonds. I'm still waiting for mine. I'm not a fan of tats, but who cares what I think?
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