Monday, March 19, 2007

It's Official

The Child has a boyfriend.

She's been friends with The Boy for 2 years. He's the one who asked her to do something after her first Snow Ball and they've been hanging out ever since. While she has sometimes admitted to having a little bit of a crush on him, that seemed to come and go. Mostly he was just a good friend who took her (with his Uncle - who's his guardian) to do cool stuff.

Then something shifted.

She'd gone off with The Boy and Uncle for the day to do Irish-y things. When they returned I was in the midst of preparing the corn beef & cabbage. Our dinner guests arrived. We invited Boy and Uncle to stay. So the adults are all chatting in the kitchen, the kids are all in the family room and The Spouse goes in to put on some music. He returns giggling.

The Boy had his arm around The Child, something he immediately stopped doing when The Spouse walked in. The Spouse gave him the "I've got my eyes on you" gesture and left. Giggling, as I said.

That's when Uncle confirmed that there'd been a conversation wherein the word order of "friend who is a girl" had changed. And we all agreed that we were ok with it because they are good kids. Although we also instituted a "no closed doors" rule. It's nice that we can talk with Uncle and are on the same page about what it appropriate and what isn't. It's also really superfantastic that the kids have been friends for so long. As The Spouse said, the best relationships are the ones born out of friendship.

Yesterday, on the way in to church, I asked The Child if she had anything to tell me. She got a very stricken look. "No".

"You sure? Nothing you want to tell me at all".

She looked like I'd been going through her drawers and found a pack of Lucky Strikes. "Nothing".

"I think there might be something. And for what it's worth, you're not in trouble".

She was silent.

"Something about The Boy?"

"Ohhhh," she said, immediately grinning from ear to ear and blushing.

And then she talked. And it was very cute.

And yes, it's a little freaky. We are now playing a whole new ball game and I'm not so sure spring training lasted long enough. Limits, rules, prayer, communication...these are all staples upon which we've relied in the last 13 years. The foundation is pretty solid. But still. This is big stuff.

I told Uncle that if I were to hand-pick a first boyfriend for The Child, I couldn't do better than The Boy. He's sweet, a little shy, scary smart, funny, very kind. They are interested in a lot of the same things. And you can tell that he likes her.

So there you go. Fortunately, we only have to tackle one day at a time. I'm not shopping for my mother-of-the-bride dress. This is, however, one of those milestones that makes me realize once again how swiftly the time goes. That MOTB dress is at least 10 off. But when you talking about a child growing up, that is no time at all.

"My Little Girl"

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Blogger gina opined...

Oh, that is soooo cute - and scary! It does go by quickly. YS asked me on the phone the other day how you know when someone is "the one". I almost choked. Remember, he's in France. With 16 girls. No, he reassured me, no one on the trip. Turns out he's been thinking about, maybe even talking to, the only girl he's ever really been serious with - a girl he's known since 1st grade. Two kids on the trip are getting married this summer, so there is lots of wedding talk. That got him thinking, wondering. This girl is nice enough, but she has ripped his heart out and stomped it to a bloody pulp a couple of times over the years, so I'm not her biggest fan. She's also not THAT bright, and she's kind of a partier, but how much of that is just youthful idiocy and how much is her true character I've yet to decide. I know her folks. Her dad as one of YS's teachers in grade school. I adore her grandparents. I'm just hoping there is someone different, someone amazing and brilliant and perfect out there for him. So, I told him I don't know how you "know", you just do, and if he doesn't yet, then she's not - yet. This is hard stuff, you know?

March 19, 2007 1:19 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

It is so tricky because you want to protect them and guide them and hope that the absolutely perfect person is the first one they ever date. But it doesn't work like that and then you have to stand by and watch while they learn the ropes...just like we did. Argh.

March 19, 2007 1:26 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

All three of my children are married, but I do remember the boyfriend/girlfriend mother angst. I am safe here...I don't really like any of the spouses my kids chose...but, I'm not married to them and live hundreds and thousands of miles away. Right now she is testing the waters...sounds like she did great with the first dip of her toes. She has good strong role models in her parents and the uncle sounds like he is doing an OK job too. She is faith based in her morals...try to have fun watching this unfold.

March 19, 2007 2:07 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

You remember that feeling you had when you were a kid and you "liked" somebody?

Great times. You probably never feel more alive than when you're young and you like a girl/boy. The Child is living in the good old days right now.

Of course, I rarely had the experience of somebody I liked actually liking me too (as she has going on right now). Good for her.

Just keep your eye on that boy. I was a boy once. I'm not saying he's going to swing for the fences here in his rookie season, but remember this about boys---- We're never as pure as we seem. We know the angles. We're born knowing the angles.

March 19, 2007 2:27 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Rosemary, Remind me, if she ends up with someone I don't like, to have her move thousands of miles away. As long as they are happy, right?

Iwanski: "Swing for the fences in his rookie season" - bwahahaha.

Reminds me of one of The Spouse's favorite movie lines, from "Clueless" when Cher's dad tells a date: "I have a shotgun and a shovel and I don't think you'll be missed".

March 19, 2007 2:33 PM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

Lorraine, right now I am the most green mom... she is talking to you!!!!

I have this picture of my husband sharpening knives when the young one brings home her first boy.

The boy has been in love since he was 6 with the same young lady-- I think he will love her forever, no matter what happens, like charles schultz and the lil' red hair girl.

Swiss wont talk to me anymore. Most likly because I know most of what he thinks about boys/girls he likes--- i think he feels he doesnt have to say anything-- dk

So im green and its not even the 17th anymore!!!

March 19, 2007 3:51 PM  
Blogger Renee opined...

Oh wow. Just wow.

March 19, 2007 5:00 PM  
Blogger Jon opined...

That is SO sweet! Awwww to the 10th power.
Remember -- I get to play for the wedding. I'm going to play "Muskrat Love" during the candle-lighting.

March 19, 2007 5:05 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

CM, Don't be green. I'm sure she'll clam up and be nothing but annoyed with me soon enough. (I hope not, but still).

Renee. I know. Enjoy all this baby/toddler stuff while you'll be your turn soon enough.

Jon. Darling. First the Farrah Fawcett hair and now Captain and Tenniele? I. Don't. Think. So. (I was thinking more along the lines of "Like a Prayer" or "Come on, Eileen").

March 19, 2007 5:23 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric opined...

Gawd, I can't even imagine what that feels like. Eek!

When you have your first boyfriend or girlfriend, there's this mixture of ecstatic glee and shivery scary -- but a good kind of scary. I imagine for the parents it's just like that, minus the glee!


March 19, 2007 6:22 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

That about sums it up, Red. Eep and yeek indeed.

March 19, 2007 6:40 PM  
Anonymous stacy opined...

oh- your blog reminds me that one of my mom's latest emails had a subject line of "MOB dress"... i was SO confused because i thought she was going for a 1940s gangster look or had gone wacko. it took me 3 days to figure out Mother Of Bride.
i didn't have my first kiss until i was 19. my mom raised me so well! :P
this story is too cute.

March 19, 2007 7:05 PM  
Blogger Kendall opined...

The innocence of it all is just too cute.

March 19, 2007 7:08 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

OH oh,sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like living away from one's child was a good thing.... for sure it is not. But my kids, as adults and each of them well over 21 , made their own decisions when it came to marriage...There are things about their spouses I do like, but I wanted so much for my kids and that is my problem...if I had the choice to make all over again I would be living right next door to them! Most in law's take some work when it comes to a relationship others are easy...I know that my "in laws" probably wish I was a bit different...but as you long as they are happy what I want is of no importance....really.

March 19, 2007 7:55 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

This is a wonderful time in a teenager's life.
Those first pangs of "puppy love" are something that she'll cherish for the rest of her life.
Why,I remember when I was a teenage boy and...HEY!....Wait just one minute there young man!

March 19, 2007 9:02 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Lol, Stacy. Now I've got pictures of your mom as a character from "The Sopranos". First kiss at 19? Me likey.

I know, Kendall. Doesn't it just make your teeth hurt?

Thanks for the clarification, R. Although, really, not necessary. But yeah, their ultimate happiness is supposed to be our goal. Balancing what we think will make them happy vs what makes them happy, ah, there's the rub.

You're just lucky, Sling. At least The Child has an Uncle JP sittin' on the front porch with a shotgun. You'd be so dead.

March 19, 2007 9:41 PM  
Blogger Pamelamama opined...

oh wow! wow!

March 19, 2007 9:52 PM  
Blogger Dana opined...

When my husband came to pick me up for our first date, my father took him downstairs and showed him his gun collection. True story.

March 20, 2007 3:52 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Please don't tell S, Pamelamama. It might break his heart.

Dana, That is so brilliant. I think The Spouse should get one. Or even just mount of hunting trophies on the wall. Or start wearing fatigues. Something.

March 20, 2007 7:05 AM  
Blogger Red7Eric opined...

My (maternal) grandfather would always sit on the couch in the living room IN HIS UNDERWEAR and clean his gun whenever any one of his five (!!) daughters were expecting a beau.

March 20, 2007 12:57 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

His underwear? I'm so telling The Spouse.

March 20, 2007 1:25 PM  
Blogger gina opined...

I loved the post, but the comments....oh the comments! They have made my day!

My dad, who now can't stand The Spouse, met him when we came up here to get married. Almost the first words were "so, Spouse-to-be, what religion are you?" Poor Spouse. He got all nervous. But I had forewarned him. He and my dad went for a walk, came back after a bit all jolly. At the time, my dad was thrilled with the information he'd extracted from the Spouse. Wonder if it helped that he had this massive knife collection right beside him on the cutting block.

March 21, 2007 5:38 PM  
Blogger Molly opined...

oh snap!!! She's much more talented then all her girl cousins then. I think a 'thank you' is in order. Thatnk you for letting Dylan date. I am very tired of waiting and I feel completly relationally stunted because of never dating. Yes, frivolous dating is not something I feel I missed out on BUT I would very much like to had one single flippin relationship as my blogs of recent times have loving stated.

March 21, 2007 9:23 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Gina, the weapons clearly factor into the process. The Spouse is taking notes.

Mols, You're welcome. I think. Although I don't know how much of a "date" we're talking about when they are always chaperoned. It's a charmingly simple thing at the moment. At the moment. And honey girl, you are such a prize. When the right boy comes Auntie knows.

March 21, 2007 9:27 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Hopefully my daughter will give me a few more years but my son..well he's starting to get that wandering eye..and it scares me..:-P

March 22, 2007 2:36 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Hey Grish! So glad to see you. And don't be scared. As long as he dates someone who has a father like the ones we've been hearing about...should be just fine!

March 22, 2007 6:14 AM  

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