A Season or a Reason

Do you have someone in your life who ended up being so important to the trajectory of your life that, had you not met them, you'd be on a completely different path? I'm not talking necessarily about the mothers who brought us into the world or the teachers or mentors who sparked a particular passion. I'm talking about some regular old person from whom you can chart at least part of the course of your life.

I've got at least one. We called her Muffin. She and I met our freshman year of college. We had an apartment together that first summer in Seattle and ended up living together on 3 other occasions after that (until we finally realized that our friendship was more important the inevitable drama that would ensue if we ever attempted that again). It was just an ordinary friendship. We shared secrets, encouraged each other (and sometimes not), we enjoyed each other (and found fault), we laughed a lot and we cried a bit. But if I had not met her I would be somewhere entirely different. Here's a map.

Muffin
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got me a job at a Greek restaurant
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where I met Rabab
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who, when I was tired of the restaurant, introduced me to
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the Bs, who were the first family for whom I nannied.

At the bus stop I took to work I met Lisa
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who introduced me to the people who knew that
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H & R were looking for a nanny about the time I needed a change from the Bs.

So I nannied for them until I realized I was nearing 30 and really wanted stuff like a full salary and benefits, which also coincided with H & R having a 2nd kid and H deciding to be an at-home mom.

H was working for a company that was joint venturing a downtown project with the Rouse Company and she knew they were looking for a secretary. So H made the introductions and I
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got the job where I met
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DMV
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who I subsequently worked with at 2 other companies.

Because of this job I started hanging out at the restaurant in our building where I met
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Richard & Steph
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who introduced me to The Spouse
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which led to the eventual existence of The Child.

And that doesn't even cover all of it.

Because I met DMV I also met Ree, who is now one of my best friends and a big part of the reason I became Catholic, and Nicole, who is also a bestie & the reason I made it to France.

The restaurant was also where I met Cardinal Sin and the woman who would someday become my sister-in-law.

And Muffin's room-mate Dot had a boyfriend who was a drummer in a band with Oakland Fats, yet another very dear friend.

There are at least half a dozen other relationships and key life experiences that are a result of that one freshman year encounter. The ironic thing is that Muffin and I lost touch round about the time The Child was a year old. I heard rumors that she'd gone through some bizarre, difficult experience and unloaded a lot of people in the process. About 10 years ago, right around this time, we ran into her on the way to a meeting with our mortgage broker. She didn't have time to talk but gave me her business card. Grudgingly, it would appear, as she never returned my calls. And that was that.

People come and go. Sometimes they stay for life and sometimes not. Sometimes they come in and out. It's just the way of things. But sometimes I really wish that Muffin and I could have one more glass of wine, for old times sake. I'd like to properly thank her.