Full Disclosure

I am not inspired.

There. I said it.

For some weeks now, I have been operating on a very low energy wave. I'm not sick or depressed. I'm sleeping fine, have a healthy appetite and am taking pleasure in the things around me. I have virtually no complaints about my life. The quotidian obligations of cleaning and pungling, while not always exactly rocking my world, do not weigh on me. I am doing, at least at the basic minimum, what must needs be done to keep house and hearth together. I am not sad, angry, frustrated or any other negative thing. Which is almost too bad. Anger, for example, is easily identified and therefore easily examined. What is the cause of this anger? What steps must be taken to restore the peace?

But what I'm feeling isn't so easily named. It would sound impressive to say I'm suffering from ennui but that suggests on-going annoyance and irritation, which is inaccurate. Nor am I simply bored because that speaks to a general lack of interest, which is not the case either.

So if nothing is wrong, why am I so lacking in creative impulse?

That's a dandy question. Let's think about it.

a) I'm not exercising. Never mind that this month has been first, far too rainy and is now far too cold. I'm not moving enough, which may account for why the humours are a little sluggish as well.

2) I'm not using my my mind. I haven't read a good book in months. I've barely looked at a magazine, although last night I did start reading a good article in an old Vanity Fair about Alice Waters and the birth of Chez Panisse. I also haven't worked a crossword puzzle. More importantly, except for blogging, I haven't been writing.

And as important as a) is, I think 2) is more to the point. My blog is a creative outlet, no question about it. But it is supposed to prime the pump. It's not the end all and be all of my creative expression. Except lately. It's good that at least I am blogging, keeping my hand in and all that. But I want to do more. There are even ideas glimmering in the shadows. But for some reason, just at the moment, I'm feeling very stuck.

So there.

Here's a good thing about me. Once I realize the nature of a problem, I usually act pretty quickly to resolve it. I've hit a slow patch. Well, fine. But there's little reward in sitting here wallowing, especially now that I've identified the problem as a general state of "stuckness". I shall now pull myself out of the Slough of Stuckness before I find myself in the muddy Ditch of Despair. For I haven't any boots.

I am going to write for a while.