Tuesday Morning Homily

The other day I was telling ChouChou about my job and how much I love it and said something to her along the lines of "almost feeling guilty" because it was so perfect. (Note: it is not "perfect" as in never challenging or difficult or whatever but "perfect" in that it "perfectly" suits my knowledge, skills and abilities). Later I even actually thought to myself that it couldn't possibly last because it was such a great gig.

That last thought caught me up short. When did I get the idea that good things aren't supposed to last? Do I really believe that blessings are somehow conditional?

When I met The Spouse I was long past believing I could find someone with whom to share my life long-term. Then he came around. And he wanted to marry me. He still wants to be married to me, even though the "you're-super-cute-and-you-have-a-coffee-maker-in-your-room" phase is long behind us. Our married life hasn't always been "perfect" but it is "perfect" for us. I don't question that. I don't necessarily think I deserve a husband like I've got but I've never thought he'd go away because "it was too good to last".

Likewise, The Child. I mean, I realize that she can drive me to Crazytown faster than anyone but when I said I wanted a child she is exactly what I meant.

The truth is, my friends, I haven't had the world's most difficult life. I have had my trials and tribulations but compared to the stories of some it reads with a decided lack of drama. Which is to say that mine is not a history fraught with loss and disappointment and cosmic snatching away of happiness. So where did that "conditional blessing" notion come from?

It's entirely too early to figure it out but you know what I did do? I told God I was sorry. Because I've been given a gift (lots of gifts, really) and the only proper response is "thank you". And I'll just keep saying "thank you", morning, noon and night. And if, some time in the future, I don't have this job anymore, well, I hope I'll be able to say "thank you" then, too.

As aforementioned ChouChou would say, "It's all good".

A Super Quick Update On Real Life Because There Was a New Project Runway Last Night

Thanks for all your good wishes yesterday. Thought you'd be pleased to know that it went very well.

Confidentiality is something we organizers value (people aren't going to have you sorting through their stuff if they think you're going to blabbity blab about it to other people). Thus, I can't give you details. But I can tell you this: I was nervous. It rather surprised me, the butterflies that leapt to my throat as I pulled up to the house. Then I realized it was because this was the true test. Sure, I've been organizing people - friends, bosses, family - for years. But this was someone I didn't know. All a sudden, I wasn't so sure if I had the chops to dive into some stranger's project without knowing any of the sorts of personal stories/details/what-have-you that make it easy to sort out a friend's kitchen.

Pleasant surprise: I have chops. The space was benignly Dickensian in it's towering bookshelves and dusty piles but in 4 hours I had done an initial sort-purge-and-tidy that impressed even myself. I go back today. And The Client was making noises about "other projects".

Point is, I actually do understand basic principles (or have made up ones that make sense to me...not sure which) that allow me to do this stuff for strangers. And that is wicked.

But wait. There's more. 2, that would be t-w-o, people asked me for my card while I was on this project. One, a professional person who doesn't really do what I do but has clients who need someone who does what I do. The other, a friend of The Client.

Hold on. It gets better! This is so a niche for me. I knew that when I started this little enterprise but it was so nice to have that confirmed. The 4 hours I spent yesterday absolutely flew by. When I left I was was positively buzzing with energy. See, that's the thing I really love about this work. It is physical work, it's mental and it's work that has an almost immediate result. It's not abstract, it's right there in front of me in the neatly stacked boxes and revealed table tops. And I'm telling you, only a very few other things in my life have ever given me that sort of energizing feeling and those, my friend, are precisely the things on which I intend to focus this year.

Yes, this is all brand new. Somewhere along the line there will be some impossible client or evil job. Sure; practically speaking handing out cards doesn't guarantee work. But what a fab start, huh? And how blessed am I to be able to do something enjoyable for ducats? And how further blessed am I that so many of you are rooting for me? Pretty darned blessed, I reckon.

Auld Lang Syne

Looky what I got:



pretty little mother o' pearl spoon for the proper enjoyment of caviar. I started my day in the mellow and lovely Seattle Caviar shop, purchasing, what else?, caviar for tonight's latkes (paddlefish...like osetra but way less expensive) and some pate de fois gras. We'll enjoy that with a bottle of the Orange Widow and I. can't. wait.

The Spouse and I will be ringing in the New Year alone this year. The Child is off with The Boy. Rumor has it they will be at the Space Needle watching it light up at midnight. She's pretty excited.

As I was on my way to the caviar shop the local NPR station was doing a program, asking about individuals song for 2007...the song that meant the most or was most reflective of the year past. It was fun and started me thinking about what song summed up this year for me. It's harder than it sounds.There were some 80s songs that came to mind, what with all the time JP and I spent at the club this year. But then, 80s music is pretty much always my soundtrack and nothing really stood out. I considered "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana, which is my theme song for these emerging days of parenting a teenager. But that's only one part of my life. I thought of "Chicago", given our stellar visit there this year and all our peeps there (shout out, y'all). But again, just part of the overall experience.

I ended up being forced to look a little more deeply at what 2007 has meant for me. You well know it's been a year of challenge regarding the whole "what am I going to be when I grow up" thing. I expect there will be actual movement on that front in '08, so long as I apply myself. Which is sometimes hard for me. There have been ups and downs with the family, but more ups than not and our current state of bliss is a reminder that you have to hang on in the valleys if you want to regain the peaks. This has been a year, fundamentally, about believing in myself and what I want, about how the most valuable things don't come without effort. Kind of a funny thing, really, when you think about this being my jubilee year. I mean, really, oughtn't a person to have figured that out by the time she's 50? It's pretty basic, after all.

But better late than never.

I'm blessed. I love my husband. My kid shows signs of turning into a reasonable human being. I've got awesome friends. I've got you. There's money enough to buy caviar and champagne. There are only 386 days left of the Bush presidency. I've got a lot to do in '08 and that's a good thing, even if some of it scares me a little.

So here's to growing up, to hanging in there, to believing in the best and trying hard not to mire down too much in the worst; ultimately, here's to perseverance. *clinkies*

Oh, and yeah, this is my song for '08. And it gives rise to one resolution for 2008: I really have to start listening to something other than Radio Disney.

Happy New Year, kids. I love you.



Jonas Brothers "Hold On"

Counting Blessings

I've been feeling a little blue. That's actually a really good color for me, but it's not a spiritual state that I enjoy. So despite the fact that everything that is making me blue is completely unchanged, I am going to gut up and count my blessings.

1 Every day The Child and I take a classmate to school. She's from Kenya and she and her mom live in a subsidized apartment complex that's run by the Church. She's a sweet girl and she and The Child have become friends. We've been providing transportation for her for about 2 months now but I'd never met her mother. Today she came out to meet me.

I got out of the car to shake her hand and she took me in her arms, planted a kiss on one cheek, hugged me, then kissed the other cheek. She doesn't speak much English but she kept saying "Thank you, thank you" with a beaming face. It was really sweet.

2. I was chatting up the grocery clerk at my first shopping stop. I do that sort of thing. The woman mentioned that people had been really rude so far this morning. I told her that when I'm Queen of the World eveyone will be required to work for a time with the public because all too often people have no idea what it's like on the other side of the counter or table, that if they did they would be a little more patient and forgiving. She thought that was a great idea. We chatted some more and when my transaction was complete she said, "I wish everyone was as nice as you, m'am". It made me a little varklempt.

3. It isn't raining.

4. So far today nothing has broken, flooded, bent, fallen over or been chewed by The Dog.

5. People from Idaho are threatening (in a good way) to come to my birthday party.

6. There are so many yummy leftovers in the freezer that I bought hardly anything at the grocery store today. More money to spend on the Easter feast. Yippee.

7. The Neighbor is a really good friend.

8. The Spouse was extra specially sweet to me last night. And he's making dinner tonight.

9. JP is a really good uncle. The other night I was writing an email (to him, as a matter of fact) and The Child was on the phone with The Boyfriend making arrangements for his birthday party on Saturday.

"When do I have to be home?" she asked. Preoccupied as I was I said, "I don't know. Midnight."

Which immediately launched me into Most Excellent Mom EVER status. Which I told him about.
He replied along the lines of "Wait just a minute. You just told her she can stay out until midnight. What happens when she's dating someone we don't like?" (I love that "we"). He was absolutely right, of course, so the next morning I immediately rectified the situation, telling her that this was a one time only thing and not to be considered a precedent. After I explained what "precedent" meant, she was jiggy with it. Dodged that bullet. It takes a village. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

10. Jon makes me laugh even when I don't feel like it.

11. I am not Alberto Gonzales.

The Simple Life

The volunteer intern at the Cantwell office is a guy named Phillip. He just got back from a trip to Sri Lanka, working as an observer for their recent elections. (Just so you know, when I was his age I was figuring out how much money I needed to party on the weekend and still have enough for the Nordstrom half-yearly sale). We had a good catch-up chat yesterday and he was talking about the more profound lessons he reaped from his trip...like how much stuff he has, how much more simply he wants to live now, how even staying plugged in all the time via cellphone and Internet has lost some of its allure. I can't personally see taking it that far but I admire those sorts of life altering revelations. We experienced something similar when we got back from France...we were watching less TV, having apertif every evening and eating smaller portions more slowly, that sort of thing. The trick, always, is to stay mindful of those commitments and not get sucked back into the madness of American culture. Which is more or less what happened to us. Although we still eat later than most Americans and we still say "D'accord", when we think of it.

Anyway, that sort of "how the other half lives" eye-opening is what is great about travel, if you want it to be.

We got a mild little wake-up last evening. We were sitting in front of the Food Network eating pizza (a treat for a mid-week evening) and all of a sudden the power went out. There wasn't a storm or terrorist attack. But the whole 'hood was plunged into darkness. It was a little freaky at first, as those things are, but it wasn't that big a deal. We had candles and flashlights. Most of our clocks are battery operated. I tried to do the Abe Lincoln thing and read by candlelight but after a few squinty minutes decided that whole thing was over-rated and just went to bed early.

The power went back on around 10:30 or 11. There were no major inconveniences. "Gilmore girls" was a rerun anyway. And let's face it, one of the perks of living in the Big City is that the grid is pretty solid. Power was restored in no time so there was fresh coffee and the NY Times on line in the a.m. just like every day. Still, it was good to be reminded of the conveniences of life, to realize how easy we really have it and how truly great it is that we don't actually have to study by candlelight (although God knows we looked mighty attractive in the soft glow).

I am also experiencing the minor inconvenience of being carless as Fergie is in the shop having that stupid emissions issue addressed. But I got a shuttle home and The Neighbor is picking up The Child from school. I'm not crazy about this or about the cost of the repairs (which are still unknown but with my car luck will be far more than I want them to be). But there's room on the credit card to deal with it, which is a blessing. The Neighbor is a generous person, which is a blessing. The dealership has a shuttle, which is a blessing. I'm home in front of my electrified computer, which is also a blessing. I'm not starving, chronically ill, cold, naked or homeless. Just a good thing to reflect on such things every once in a while.