Just Like Starting Over

Funny thing about blogging. When I first started (nearly 5 years ago - yikes) I told a handful of people, for the purposes of accountability. Never dreamed that at my peak I'd have over 100 daily readers or that so many of them would become real and true friends (waves furiously at all the real and true friends). I never once thought that anything much would come of it, except for the daily discipline of writing which might lead to something. (It didn't, really, except for that one piece in that one journal that was published once). But it lead to many friends (throws kisses in their direction) and satisfaction and even joy so it was all good.

Then The Job - the most wonderful, awesome and fulfilling (paying) job I've ever had came along and some things had to give. Including daily blogging. Not that I wanted to slow down or stop (although I entertained the notion). Nor did I want to slow down or stop reading other blogs (even though I reluctantly have). It was just something that came with the working woman package (along with undone laundry, dusty mantels and not volunteering at school. Wait. That last one is a plus). Point is, I still don't want to stop blogging. Still not entirely sure why. Because if the initial point was to, as I said, build the discipline of writing into my life, well, the truth is, I write on my job. Not daily and not always the sorts of things I really truly want to be writing but the fact is, I've been published exponentially more since starting The Job than in all the blogging-every-day years. (Plus I develop virtually all the content for our website and THAT is a joy. It is also why I'm going to be presenting at the annual Managers' Conference on how to make your website superfantastic. Chortle).

Anyscribe, I decided that one thing I would do in Lent is focus on my blog and do so for the original reason...to make time for that daily expression. Not because it's always literary gold but because when it hits, when that one good phrase or coherently expressed thought reveals itself it is sooooo satisfying. And I'm not going to work for the government forever but I have been, since I first learned how to make letters on a tablet, a writer so I might as well keep my hand in.

But you want to hear the funny thing? All this last year when I was working and barely blogging I still got at least a comment or two a day from the faithful and the few. And that was both humbling and awesome. But yesterday I didn't get a single comment. (Or at least I hadn't by the time I started writing this). And it was OK. Because, for one thing, fair is fair and for another, well, it was almost like when I was first blogging, before anyone knew I was here. And it occurred to me how appropriate that really was...with me sorta reclaiming the purpose of my blog and sending these first posts out into a void without expectation that anyone is going to be coming by....doing it for me, because I want to and also because, strangely, I still feel like I need to.

And I think that's just about enough navel gazing for one blog post.