Project Runway: I Spy

After the model auf'ing we get right down to business. Heidi introduces a "special guest" and out comes The Gunn; "just little ol' me", he says. He tells the designers they will be designing for a fashion legend and takes them off to the meat-packing district. Blayne informs us that he hopes the "fashion legend" is "Mary Kate" and all I can think is, "Really? This is his standard for 'legend'? Well, that explains everything". But then, Blayne wants to marry Mary Kate. Which also explains everything.

We pop into a glorious show room and who should sashay down the dramatic staircase but the one and only Diane Von Furstenberg. "I want to be her. Right. Now". says The Neighbor. MAB wonders if they will be asked to make a wrap dress. Diane graciously greets each designer then announces that they will be creating a look for her fall line, based on the movie "Foreign Affair". The winning look will be sold exclusively to American Express cardholders (hey! I have one of those!). As an added bonus, the designers will get 15 minutes to select fabrics in Diane's sample room.

The selection process reads more like the looting of New Orleans, with Tim responding with "Good heavens," and "Wow" at the mayhem that ensues.

Kenley is this week's weeping mess. She is bowled over by the opportunity to design for Von Furstenberg, who she adores beyond telling. Apparently she's only ever designed for Walmart before this and she can barely hold in her joy-tinged-with-terror.

Back at the workroom the designers have some time to examine Diane's
'look books'. Stella seems confused and The Neighbor notes that "there are no grommets in Diane von Furstenberg's look".

Kenley sees that the looks are all layered but decides that rather than try and scrabble together 3 pieces of crap just to have 3 pieces, she's going to focus on one perfect dress. Bold or safe? Hmmm..

Suede just hopes Diane loves Suede.

Guess what? Blayne draws really beautifully. So does Jerrel. Shame about the sewing.

Terri announces that this challenge is up her alley because she's all about the androgyny. The other designers are increasingly commenting on the fact that Terri only ever makes one look. Perhaps. But she does have a way with the trousers.

LeAnne has, it turns out, always wanted to be a spy, and is skulking around the workroom with shifty eyes. She's getting more adorable by the day.

Tim's Walk Around

Suede says he loves camouflage and is inspired by Berlin. Tim says "I'm not getting it visually". He also notes that the dress is way too full around the hips and suggests Suede "think about the shape". Suede will send a memo to Suede.

Tim is stunned by the "phenomenal color" and "sublime shape" of the dress LeAnne is designing. She's making a jacket for it as well (which looks fab in her drawing) but Tim finds the jacket sloppy and counsels her to think about it.

Joe is making a hooded shawl to go over some wicky whack faux Mandarin top in a not completely unpleasant shade of pink but personally, I think the hoodie effect is icky. Tim, on the other hand (and he is The Gunn, after all) praises Joe for being "ambitious, stepping up and out". After this garment, Joe is going to run for governor of Alaska.

Korto is making a 3 layer look with a pop of yellow at the top and bottom. At first Tim isn't so sure about the yellow, especially as the peek of it at top looks like bra straps, but he starts to warm to it and loves the "volume on top".

Stella. Oh, Stella. She describes the look to Tim: "She's a traveller...she's from Paris, right?" "Berlin," says Tim. Paris. Berlin. Both big cities in Europe, right? Stella is so completely unconcerned about the competition; not because she thinks she's all that so much as because she just doesn't seem to get real het up about much of anything. Stella is the ultimate "whatevah" girl.

Tim is gaga over the "beautiful silhouette" of Kenley's dress and exclaims "I see Shanghai!" Yeah, it's only one piece but such a piece. Tim doesn't seem too concerned by her lack of layering.

Tim's final counsel to the group is to work hard so that they will "blow Diane von Furstenberg's stilettos off those staggering legs of hers".

I. Love. Tim. Gunn.

The Runway
Joe: I was right. That hoodie is stupid and the pink top is way too short.

LeAnne: love. this. dress. Love it, love it, love it. And the jacket looks super.

Terri: I think the other designers are right; Terri is a singer on one note. Nicely made but samey same.

Jerrel: "OH!" said MAB. "I don't like it". What is up with his weird hat obsession?

Korto: pretty dress, although she defied Tim because the yellow bra straps are still there.

Blayne: horrible. But that's to be expected by now.

Suede: oh, no, no, no, no. That vest with the dress looks dreadful.

Stella: oy. It's not that the suit she's put together is horrible in concept. But the construction is abysmal.

Kenley: we like this dress. A lot. So Kenley's POV.

The Judging

What has happened to Nina? She's gone again this week. Filling in for her is Fern Mallis, who's the Bryant Park fashion week mucky muck.

Diane likes the yellow in Korto's dress, Fern praises the "international" look and Heidi admires the jacket. Which means there is no love left for Joe. The judges unanimously are not liking this. Diane doesn't like the open back of the top and Kors says the ensemble is not cohesive.

Heidi thinks Kenley's dress is pretty but disappointed that there is only one piece. Diane, on the other well-manicured hand, likes the dress very much and praises Kenley for being true to herself. (Which probably made Kenley want to cry all over again).

Stella is in the bottom. Again. Diane likes the tweed she used for the suit but not the shiny fabric of the cape AND she gives a lecture about how the shape of the cape (that rhymes) is totally wrong for the period. Kors said the crotch of the trousers were "every woman's nightmare" and then said something about how it looked like she was "missing something" down there. Which is a little weird because hello, women ARE missing something down there. But whatever. He's an orange gay man. How would he know? He also expressed disappointment that Stella had lost her "edge".

LeAnne is uniformly praised for her (gorgeous) dress. Diane liked the yin and yang of the sleek gown with the more masculine jacket and called it all "sexy". Heidi thought is was something "new and different" and Kors said there was "a lot of design in there".

I'm guessing that Diane did not, in fact, love Suede as much as Suede had hoped. She found his dress completely unflattering, with too much fabric at the hips. (What did Tim say?) Fern said the jacket threw the whole dress off and Kors asks the dreaded question: "Did she get dressed in the dark?"

At the break (as we stuffed our faces with lemon pound cake and pecan pie) MAB voted for Korto to win and Joe to go home. The Neighb and I agreed about Joe but wanted to see the win go to Secret Agent LeAnne.

LeAnne did, indeed, win (for the second time in a row) which makes me happy because now that means I can by the outfit; assuming I can ever think of anywhere fabulous enough to wear it. (I wish you could see the back of this dress. It's stunning).

Even though Joe's outfit was confused and the back was a disaster, it was crazy Stella who was auf'd for not doing any of her 3 pieces well and for making a "major misstep". So you know what Stella did? She thanked Heidi, told her that she'd learned a lot and went backstage to smile and joke and hug everyone goodbye. Tim remarked that it was a most "ebullient departure". Stella doesn't care, you see, if you like her clothes. If you do, buy 'em and if you don't "walk on by". You gotta admire that sort of non-blubbering chutzpah.

Now our little leathuh queen returns to her beloved Rat Bones and we are left wondering if next week we will finally see Blayne's tail lights.