Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Just to be Clear

This would be a good time to discuss fire safety. If your sleeve catches fire STOP, DROP and ROLL. Don't panic. I know a flaming sleeve is scary but waving your arms and running in circles is NOT the best plan. Yes, your shirt is, sadly, ruined and those are some nasty burns you've got there, but you're going to make things worse if you freak out.

Also, I'd like to explain the concept of "gotcha journalism". Let's say I'm being interviewed and I say something like "I'm bigger than when I was married. Thank Jesus that designers now make clothes for regular size women". Then let's say that the tape is edited so that the sound bite is "I'm bigger than Jesus". That's "gotcha journalism". But if I reveal myself to be a blithering idiot with no understanding whatsoever of the topic and if large sections of my interview, unedited and verbatim, end up in the script for a comedy sketch, demonstrating for a wider audience just how blithering I am, that's way unfortunate for me but it is not gotcha journalism. It is also not sexism.

There's a plus to being outed as a blithering idiot, though. Especially if I'm about to go into a (completely structured) "debate" with someone who isn't a blithering idiot. Because then all I have to do is show up and not blither for 90 minutes (which I should be able to do because I am good at memorizing sound bites and zingers) and I'll be a hero. In fact, if I can just keep my designer shoes out of my mouth for 90 minutes, I could end up the winner of the debate. Nothing sweeter than lowered expectations.

And speaking of sweet, happy New Year to all my Jewish friends.

Meanwhile, I get to have cocktails with Anne tonight. She's in town and we're meeting up for real. Tomorrow night she's going to come watch Project Runway with me and the girls. How fun is that?

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11 Comments:

Blogger TWISI opined...

the problem is, the one we need to keep mouth shut isn't prone to doing that.

it should be interesting television!

i can't wait to see SNL this week, they should have some GREAT new material.

September 30, 2008 7:29 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

If Joe can just stick to the point, look Vice Presidential and not snark...ok, I see your point.

September 30, 2008 8:35 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

If you don't like the birthday card I have for you, it won't be fun at all.

But I'm superexcited anyway.

6 at my hotel?

September 30, 2008 8:57 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

crap....you don't think there is a chance goggles for glasses will win do you? I'm hoping her lipstick sticks to her teeth the whole time. and that Joe counts his hair plugs before he rambles on too much.

September 30, 2008 8:59 AM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

Oh thanks so much on the fire safety tip.

I am so excited for the VP debate. But the advantage of everyone thinking you are going to fail is a bonus cuz you only have to smile and say a canned answer and get through it and will look great.

I am so jealous of Anne. How cool for her.

September 30, 2008 9:05 AM  
Blogger LostInCO opined...

if she was one of those pagent gals, then she knows the tricks to keep her lipstick from sticking to her teeth. i am waffling on watching, having her there is just too embarrasing for me.

September 30, 2008 9:28 AM  
Blogger Kimberly Ann opined...

Joe's best strategy should be just to shut up and let her fill the time. The more she says the better.

I can't tell you how offended I am by her very presence in this race. It's even more boggling that some people are taking her seriously.

September 30, 2008 9:29 AM  
Blogger Sling opined...

I fear your blithering skills simply aren't up to the standards of the Republicans Rainey.Sooner or later, you'd make sense.
Have a great visit with Anne!

September 30, 2008 10:01 AM  
Blogger jp opined...

I'm confused.

When did you light yourself on fire?

When did you become bigger than Jesus?

And can you see Russia from Seattle?

September 30, 2008 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha (Note no w)

Hhhhmmmm, wonder why katie was picked to do the interview?

Just when one thought the Republican party could sink no lower, along comes Palin.

The nutcake that was taken out of the oven too soon.

Oh well. Have a nice visit.

Peace

:+}

September 30, 2008 4:10 PM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

I. can't. wait. for the VP debate!!

September 30, 2008 7:23 PM  

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