Project Runway: Who Can Turn the World on With Her Smile?

There was a dwindling of numbers this week; MAB has a very bad cold so stayed home to rest and we are down to a mere 6 designers.

Suede is so concerned about his brush with aufing that his mohawk is flat and he speaks in the first person: "I have to prove myself". LeAnne wonders if perhaps this week they will be designing "evening gowns for infants". It makes me giggle. "Infants" is a funny word.

Heidi introduces some "special ladies" and out troop, oh, I'm being so mean and shallow right now, but out troop 6 of the least attractive, dumpiest looking women I've possibly ever seen. And it's not just me because all the designers have that "oh, crap" look in their eyes even as they stretch their lips over their teeth in an approximation of a smile. But that Heidi, such a prankster. These aren't the clients. The clients, who come trooping out next, are the daughters of these women. All the girls are recent graduates and going out into the world to start their fabulous careers (cue the "Mary Tyler Moore" theme song). The designers are charged with giving them a head-to-toe makeover that will suit this new phase of their young lives.

The designers are all relieved but in the workroom Tim mentions that really, the mothers are clients as well to the degree that they will "no doubt have their own opinions". Joe extrapolates on this remark from his experiences as a daddy of daughters and worries about the dynamic that assures that if the mother loves something the daughter will hate it.

But we're caucusing with our clients and some designers are just delighted to death because they and their client + mom are of one mind (Kenley) and others not so much because they either have to do things they don't want to do ("pants are not Suede's thing") or because they just don't seem that jazzed about the challenge (Korto).

Surprise teleconference from MAB, joking that the mom of Anna (one of the clients) used to be Anna's dad. Since MAB herself sounds like she used to be Anna's dad, we make her go back to bed.

$100 and 30 minutes later Korto has declared herself the "queen of leathuh" now that Stella is gone and this amuses me.

As the designers get sewing we hear lots of "first job" stories accompanied by fresh faced "gee whiz" photos from the era. Which for LeAnne was 2 months ago. Joe didn't always have a beard. He's pretty hot without a beard. (I've never been one for the facial hair).

During the first round of fittings we see the extension of the love/not love that happened upon the first caucus. LeAnne has made a really cute dress with lots of detail and her client isn't thrilled with it. LeAnne prepares to rework the ensemble with a "one sexy teacher dress coming up". I truly like LeAnne. She is funny. I like her designs and she seems to understand the challenges.

Joe on the other hand, seems to think that the challenge is to create a suit. Just a suit. Because obviously, that's what women wear when they go to work. A suit. A pinstripe suit. With a pocket square. I have visions of women on the ferry, wearing pinstripe suits and tennis shoes, going to their jobs in Manhattan. Carly Simon is singing. I realize I'm channelling "Working Girl". Seriously, Joe. Pocket squares? I'm not alone. Kenley and Jerrell have quite a lot of fun mocking the pocket square (emphasis on "square") concept.

The budding professionals return for a second fitting, this time without their opinionated moms, which makes everyone happy. Suede has successfully steered his client away from her preference for pants which, you'll remember, are not Suede's thing, and LeAnne's client is happy with the changes made to her dress. The relationship between Kenley and her client is somewhat mutually sycophantic and I didn't even realize there was such a thing.

Tim calls a "gather 'round" but poo, it's nothing exciting (like "now quick quick update all the poor dowdy mothers while you're at it"). It's time for a TREsemme infommercial. Blech.

Tim's Walk-Around
Tim is not dismayed (for a change) by Suede's garment, except to say that he has "issues" with the pockets on the jacket (which I think are one of the more redeeming things about his garment) and that, despite Suede's assurance that he has measured them, the sleeves seem uneven.

Tim tells Joe that he disputes the "relevance of this look", particularly given the chosen field of his client (which I want to say is graphic designer or some other hip thing). Joe rebuts that he is not concerned about her career path and Tim tsks, "But that is everything".

Jerrell gets a simple "really stunning" (and dammit! it is).

Kenley has done what Kenley does best, a vintage inspired dress. Tim suggests that the tulle underskirt could come up to the length of the dress and still work. And to the camera she says, "I'm not going to listen to Tim". Gasp!

Joe gets misty missing his family. The girl designers totally dis on Suede's lack of talent.

The Runway
Guest judge is Cynthia Rowley.

Joe: the client's mom is weeping. From pride or humiliation we'll never know.

LeAnne: love how this turned out. (Although the dress was way cute and the model never took off the jacket, which she shoulda).

Jerrell: just plain adore this. Dammit. Again.

Korto: oh, eww. The Neighbor and I find no relationship between the jacket and the dress.

Suede: The Neighbor loved the fabric, I did not. It reminds me of something a very large woman would wear while shopping at Walmart. I enjoyed the jacket slightly more but The Neighbor did not. It is this tension which keeps our relationship interesting. The client, however, clearly felt like a million bucks and worked that frakking runway.

Kenley: still a fan of her sensibility, if not her nasal tones. However, in contrast with Suede's client, hers was obviously not loving the runway.

The Judging
Heidi declared that Kenley had found a "mini me". She seemed quite sarcastic about that but the other judges loved the look, calling it "charming, cute" (Nina) and "the right look for the right girl" (Kors). Rowley thought it might be a "little fairy tale" but did not hate it.

Rowley smacked Joe for not considering that there were "other options" than a suit to make a woman look professional. Kors said it looked like it was designed for a "60 year old" and when he mentioned the pocket square Kenley had one of her passive-aggressive nasal snort fests. Nina dismissed the look as "cliche".

Shockingly, we were in complete opposition to the judges collective opinion about Korto's look. While we found it disconnected and icky, they all liked it a lot. Kors said it looked "current". Ok, Mikey, whatever.

Jerrell got nothing but raves. Heidi said "It's great...you're hired" and Nina loved the juxtaposition of the more traditional cardigan and the ruffly (fabulous) blouse.

Finally, Suede was mercilessly bashed for a "gratuitous jacket" (Rowley), Kors said you'd "never guess" girlfriend wanted to be a photographer when she grew up by looking at it and Nina...well, Nina hated it so much that she couldn't even talk about how much she hated it. I have never seen Nina speechless.

MAB teleconferenced in again at the break to vote. Both The Neighb and I picked Jerrell to win and Suede to lose; MAB was in agreement with the winner but waffled between Suede and Joe for the auf. Snaps to us for getting the win right...Jerrell for the second time in a row. (Do wish he'd lose his Jolly Green Giant hat, though).


And while Suede's "dated, overworked and impractical" ensemble was heinous, it was Joe who was "outsie daisy" (as one of his kids interprets auf Wiedersehen) for having "aged a beautiful girl" with a look that was "drab and cliche".

MAB is already voting for Kenley to be auf next. I myself am just sad that Suede lives to torment us for yet another week.