Pain Gives Me Run-ons
I just got up, well, for the second time that is.
I woke up this morning with a killer headache. Scrounged through my morning usuals then took the car for my emissions test - which I passed, thank heaven, because this really isn't the time of year to be shelling out $150 for a tuneup plus my tabs expire at the end of the month and it's Christmas next week so I'd have probably had to take it to a shyster instead of my regular guy and who knows how that would have turned out and why I waited until the last minute to take care of this is beyond me because it's not a big deal but it's just not very glamorous so I don't get very excited about it so off it is put but that's all moo anyway because, like I said, I passed, even though all the while I had this very bad headache.
Hat said that it would go away if I drank a glass of warm salt water and I know, well, I'm pretty sure, that she meant well and wasn't just trying to punk me but it was very nasty AND it didn't work so once I got home from the emissions test I climbed into bed and slept, feeling just excellent the whole time except for the first few minutes when The Dog was all in my face with his garbage breath and worming against me for pats but once I buried my head under the blankets he went down to the foot of the bed and snuggled between my feet and we slept very nicely and I didn't feel a smitch of pain the whole time although I did have very strange dreams about visiting my sister-in-law in an all yellow flat that had very high staircases and sometimes I was trying to get up the staircases with all these strangers and I kept feeling like I was drunk and about to fall any second but I never did and of course, despite the precarious nature of the stairs, my head didn't hurt so I was happy even as I clung to the ornate railing.
But then the phone rang ahead of my alarm so I got up lest it be The Child or The Neighbor but it was a woman at church reminding us that The Child is taking up the gifts on Sunday, along with 13 other children who have been baptised by Father and been raised in the parish...it's the last celebration of our centennial year and it's going to be very sweet plus we have pews reserved back by the font for that Mass which will be nice because that means we get to receive Eucharist from Father because our usual Sunday morning place is in the south and he never serves from there but this stinking headache is starting to really get on my nerves and tonight is the Advent Concert at school and I can tell you right now I'm not sure how perky I'm going to be about that with this skewer stuck in the side of my head. Actually, I can. I'm not going to be perky about it at all. But attendance is required (for the kids, that is) so it's not like skipping it is an option. Plus it's the last one of elementary school and let's face it, even though most of the songs tend more to the excruciating than the tuneful, it's just the sweetest thing ever so I wouldn't miss it but having already taken the legal limit of ibuprofen I'm not sure how I'll survive.
I'll tell you one thing. No way I'm trying that warm salt water trick again.
I woke up this morning with a killer headache. Scrounged through my morning usuals then took the car for my emissions test - which I passed, thank heaven, because this really isn't the time of year to be shelling out $150 for a tuneup plus my tabs expire at the end of the month and it's Christmas next week so I'd have probably had to take it to a shyster instead of my regular guy and who knows how that would have turned out and why I waited until the last minute to take care of this is beyond me because it's not a big deal but it's just not very glamorous so I don't get very excited about it so off it is put but that's all moo anyway because, like I said, I passed, even though all the while I had this very bad headache.
Hat said that it would go away if I drank a glass of warm salt water and I know, well, I'm pretty sure, that she meant well and wasn't just trying to punk me but it was very nasty AND it didn't work so once I got home from the emissions test I climbed into bed and slept, feeling just excellent the whole time except for the first few minutes when The Dog was all in my face with his garbage breath and worming against me for pats but once I buried my head under the blankets he went down to the foot of the bed and snuggled between my feet and we slept very nicely and I didn't feel a smitch of pain the whole time although I did have very strange dreams about visiting my sister-in-law in an all yellow flat that had very high staircases and sometimes I was trying to get up the staircases with all these strangers and I kept feeling like I was drunk and about to fall any second but I never did and of course, despite the precarious nature of the stairs, my head didn't hurt so I was happy even as I clung to the ornate railing.
But then the phone rang ahead of my alarm so I got up lest it be The Child or The Neighbor but it was a woman at church reminding us that The Child is taking up the gifts on Sunday, along with 13 other children who have been baptised by Father and been raised in the parish...it's the last celebration of our centennial year and it's going to be very sweet plus we have pews reserved back by the font for that Mass which will be nice because that means we get to receive Eucharist from Father because our usual Sunday morning place is in the south and he never serves from there but this stinking headache is starting to really get on my nerves and tonight is the Advent Concert at school and I can tell you right now I'm not sure how perky I'm going to be about that with this skewer stuck in the side of my head. Actually, I can. I'm not going to be perky about it at all. But attendance is required (for the kids, that is) so it's not like skipping it is an option. Plus it's the last one of elementary school and let's face it, even though most of the songs tend more to the excruciating than the tuneful, it's just the sweetest thing ever so I wouldn't miss it but having already taken the legal limit of ibuprofen I'm not sure how I'll survive.
I'll tell you one thing. No way I'm trying that warm salt water trick again.
Labels: brain tumor
cobbled together by Moi at 3:18 PM
17 Comments:
Oh,..You are so the master of the run-on sentence!..
Hope your brain tumor feels better soon.
Sheesh, you don't have to do everything I tell you to do.
Now then, DRINK THE DAMN Kool-Aid!
(I put salt in it)
Thank you, Sling (drops curtsey). I find a lot of completely ridiculous humor in my English majorness getting all run-on-y from time to time.
Yes I do Ms. Jones...I mean, Hat.
Good luck with the tumor, hope it is feeling much better soon.... oh and Merry Christmas!
So sorry about your head. Hope it's better. Stopping by to wish you and your lovely family a very Merry and Blessed Christmas.
I cure headaches the natural and organic way. EXCEDRIN and VODKA. In that order.
Thanks, Twisi. And a very Merry to you as well, my friend!
Back atcha, SIL dear (and no, you weren't the SIL with the all-yellow apartment and the scary stairs). We'll ring you on Christmas day...like the bells.
Excedrin and vodka. 'K, that sounds totally doable, Red. Here's the thing: at first I thought it was a tannin headache, because I go through phases where I can't do the red wine, and that's why Hat suggested the salt water because someone once suggested that as a cure for a tannin headache and it totally worked for her so the fact that it didn't work for me suggests brain tumor and not tannin headache but the point and I do have one is that Excedrin and vodka sounds good and I'm about to try it because hello? did I not just run on again? Hi. Brain tumor flare up.
I realize that tumorous headache is not at all funny but run-on sentences are hilarious when you do it on purpose, so I'm laughing instead of feeling bad for you like I should be doing which does give me a bit of guilt so you should know that I do feel bad and hope you feel better soon, but mostly I'm still cracking up about the run-on sentences.
That wss so... Proustian. Said he in a burst of Hemmingway-like brevity.
I hope you feel better quickly, Lorraine, and that the pageant etc. was as lovely as it's possible for off-key singing to be. ;)
It's totally ok, JP. I understand.
Willym, now I want a madeline. And an absinthe. And a bullfighter.
Syd, dear editor Syd, did that just give you the swimming pips? And as for the concert...got lucky on that one. I'll post a bit about it today.
Copious quantities of caffeine help with headaches. Get thee to a Starbucks, pronto.
Feel better.
Trust, KA, I was slamming the caffeine. Sadly, my brain tumors are impervious. But it's gone now and I feel like a new woman. A very wired woman, but a new one.
Well...in some senses, it did...but there's also this thing where an editor takes into account the stylistic choices made by the author.
Now, if you did that kind of thing all the time... ;)
...if I did it all the time you'd get the brain tumor, the sort that's induced by swimming pips. I promise not to do it too often.
Hope your inner ice pick was banished by the time of the blessed event. (Excedrin Migraine does the trick for me) And, in the hands of the right writer, a run-on sentence can be quite an effective tool, conveying just the right amount of anxiety, annoyance, excitement, or any number of emotions. It's a gift; run-on with your bad self.
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