Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Shameless Self-Promotion or Putting it Out There and Why I Usually Don't

There seems to be a little theme emerging in the life of some blog buddies these days, to do with creativity and putting it out there and such like that. People far more talented and creative that moi, like my beloved Hat, have opined about it. And people, like she and Iwanski, are even actually doing something about it, accompanied by a chorus of "Go for it!" from this supportive little group.

As a rule, I find that the vast majority of us are very creative people, living our regular lives but dreaming about our creative self being more "out there", possibly even earning the occasional ducat from something we love. I fantasize from time to time about the fascinating conversation Oprah and I have about my moving and funny new book or the way in which my syndicated column has the power to change the world. Sure I do. Not that I've actually done anything that would remotely get me a call from Oprah's people, but I think about it.

I think that blogging is wonderful, of course. But I persist in the fantasy that Graydon Carter is just gonna stumble across my blog and insist that I become a staff writer for "Vanity Fair"...that my writing is going to become a career without me doing anything more than sitting in front of my laptop in my jammies and writing crap. Which, you see, is not how it is done.

Since the Unbound Press, one year ago, I haven't submitted anything for publication. Partly it's the classic "fear of rejection". Sure it is. Hell, I'm more protective of my writing than I was of my heart. Back in the day I was putting it out there all the time, only to have it lied to and tossed around like a Frisbee and kicked into the gutter until The Spouse came along and saw the battered, bruised little bugger and said, "Oh, poor little heart, I will love you".

But my writing? That's another monkey altogether.

"But you put it out there every day on your blog," says you.

"Sure", says me, "because it doesn't feel like a risk". Only twice, in nearly 3 years, have I ever received a negative comment from some anonymous bastid who unkindly told me that he/she thought what I wrote was twaddle. (That was a real word someone used. Hee. I write twaddle). But fundamentally this is a very supportive community who are always saying things to each other like "this is brilliant...I loved this...you should be published" (and really, we should all listen to each other more because we are quite right about that). But getting writing out there where assorted editors and publishers can see it and say, "Meh"? That's scary.

Oh, but it's even more than that, I just realized. I wasn't raised to say "Hey, looky me!" Which is what submitting feels like. Isn't there something kinda pushy about sending in an unsolicited piece to someone? Something that smacks of a little girl in a new party dress twirling around the middle of a cocktail party saying "Aren't I pretty? Don't you just love me?" Because in my experience that is the sort of behavior that gets one sent to one's room.

Consequently, I realized that it fundamentally goes against my nature to ask for attention, to promote myself. Which might make me fit for polite society but isn't going to do a lick toward lengthening my CV or getting me clients. (Because that whole marketing/self-promotion thing is required for that, too, and I haven't been comfortable doing it. Which is problematic).

Then I was thinking about Buck. A month or so ago I sent him a link I'd found to a magazine in Chicago that was looking for local writers. He sent in a piece. They loved it. Not only are they going to publish it - and pay him for it - but they want him to write more. I'm super proud of the fact that he's going to be published. But when he was here I told him that I was even more proud of the fact that he had submitted something in the first place. And in his quiet and self-deprecating way he admitted that he almost hadn't...that it had come right down to the wire and then he decided "what the heck". Maybe it didn't feel like a risk to him. But the point is that he did it.

I have a dream for my life. It has me helping people organize their homes - for money - which is something that I find to be a very affirming task, something which brings me delight and energy. And at my age, I really want to be able to work at something that feeds me rather than sapping me. In fact, at my age, I think I deserve that. I've been in soul-deadening-gig-just-to-pay-the-rent land. I don't think I have to go there now. And part of what I like about this scenario that I've envisioned for myself is that it still leaves me time and energy to write. Which is the other thing I really, really want to do. Granted, if some things don't break pretty soon I may have to abandon part of that dream because high school tuition ain't gonna pay for itself. (In fact, I'm going to start temping after the first of the year for a bit. I was going to start earlier but soon everyone else in the family will be on Christmas break and I selfishly want to play, too). Point is, I want to make my business work and I want to publish and I am going to have to take concrete steps before saying that it isn't going to work.

Fine, so here's the thing. Those concrete steps go against my nature and make me feel uncomfortable. Duly noted. But my dreams aren't going to come true unless I'm willing to stop thinking about how hard it is for me and be willing to twirl at the cocktail party in my pretty pink dress even if it means the grownups are disapproving and send me to bed.

I took a little risk last week. I was reading Blogging Project Runway and they have a feature called "Recapalooza" where they share other bloggers recaps of the show. There was a call to send them links. So I did. What the hell, right? And yesterday I learned that they had linked me! On top of that, my hits yesterday were more than twice what they normally are. And you know where all that traffic came from? That's right. Now granted, "Here's the Thing" isn't a commercial site and all that traffic doesn't mean anything in the way of income or potential fame or a syndicated column. In fact, there's a very good chance that most of those readers will only come around if I'm doing Project Runway stuff. Which is fine. The point is that I did, in a very small and totally uncharacteristic way, put myself out there by sending that link and it didn't kill me. So maybe, just maybe, I can find the wherewithal to do it again, only this time to a press or magazine. Because truly, at this point, I have absolutely nothing to lose. Greater writers than I have been rejected, for crying out loud. It's part of the territory. So what?

Here's some more shameless self-promotion: I'm trying an experiment with my business. I'm offering on-line services. I don't know that anyone else is doing something like this or if it's going to work but I'm giving it a whirl. The way it works is that a client sends me pictures of a trouble spot, I ask some questions and then come up with a strategy for them. The service then includes a month of electronic hand-holding whereby I email them to see how it's going, offering additional advice and encouragement as they work through the challenge. It may work. It may not. But it's worth a shot, right?

And then it occurred to me (here's the shameless self-promotion part) that I should tell all y'all about it. Because maybe some of you would just love to have a virtual organizer. Maybe you know someone who would. Which led to an even crazier thought, along the lines of "Hey, you know what would make a superfantastic Christmas gift? Moi!"

That's right. You can now purchase my virtual organizer services as a gift for that hard-to-buy-for someone. Perhaps you know someone who lives in the Seattle area; in that case you could consider buying an hour of in-home consulting for someone you love. Wouldn't that be better than a Wii or an iPod? 'K, maybe not, but it certainly would be different. Anygoo, think about it. There are very nifty PayPal buttons on the site and if you decide that this is just the last-minute-holiday gift you need for someone, simply purchase the service you're interested in and then email me (the business email is on the site), with the name of the lucky recipient and I'll send you a gift certificate for them.

Ok, that took a lot out of me. We can pretend it didn't happen. (Unless you were thinking, "Damn, that is a swell idea! I am so getting that for Auntie Mame!" In which case, I'm super glad I told you so you could finish your holiday shopping early.)

Now I'm going to go enjoy my really super clean house for a bit. And then I've got some articles to work on.

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20 Comments:

Blogger Seattle Coffee Girl opined...

I'm just going to jump right in first and say YOU GO GIRL. :) Snaps for posting this and letting blogopia know about your talents and dreams and desires. You rock the house.

And my FEMA Room is proof positive that your services work. (Shameless promotion of LT's services, sure...but just as much an attagirl.) You helped me get clarity about what I want that space to be like, you motivated me to get my rear in gear, and you showed me that I CAN DO THIS. And now the hard work is done, and I have a killer blank canvas to work with. You can help me with Part Deux, which will be the fun part! YIPEE!

Here's to claiming your desires and GOING FOR IT...big kisses to you!

December 11, 2007 9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Darling Nayb,

Very well written my dear.

Make a plan, work the plan.

And twirl like there's no tomorrow!

xo nayb

December 11, 2007 10:00 AM  
Blogger Br. Jonathan opined...

I'm so proud of you. You put it out there. Pink dress and all.

"The phone book's here! The phone book's here!. . . "

December 11, 2007 11:19 AM  
Blogger booda baby opined...

About fucking time. You and Hat and that damned JP who ought to be writing screenplays and - oh, all SORTS of folks around these blogging parts.

That's the short version of a reply that I know could be a whole lot longer. Outside, looking in, it's always amazing to watch someone give up precious creative energy to why they can't/shouldn't/oughtn't and invest all that invented shit with legitimacy.

I'm going to watch very carefully and be poised for some 'Go For It' revival (literally) sessions. I've seen it require more than a surge or a splurge, but a head - and yeah, kind of a lifestyle - change.

I am ready for you to sparkle. (ick. That sounded Hallmarky, but that's not how I meant it. I meant it kind of onomonpaetically, if that's possible.)

December 11, 2007 11:27 AM  
Blogger Doralong opined...

You can do it dear- it's just that getting yourself ready to throw yourself at the winds of fate bit. Trust me, I totally get it. And if I could afford you right now I'd fly you out to set fire, oh sorry organize, the Beast's office..

The virtual thing is a swell idea though! I totally stumbled into this virtual assistant schtick and have been dang busy just with random people with short term projects. Jeeze, if I just made with the website and promoted it, I could hire Hat to do the pretty webby bits and you to keep my office from going to hell.. Humm, I meed to go think a bit.

December 11, 2007 11:49 AM  
Blogger Nunnie's Attic opined...

Well that's just twaddle.

JUST KIDDING! Again I feel the need to lift a pint ~ Brilliant! As for fearing the publisher...get over it honey. The sad part isn't attempting and failing (not to say that you would, pretty fucking sure that wouldn't happen) but not attempting at all. Because making yourself vulnerable doesn't make you weak it makes you lovable!!

Love,
Julie

December 11, 2007 11:56 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Muuah, SCG.

Nice motto, Neighb. Wonder if it would fit on a bumper sticker...

Thanks, Buck. And remember me when you get your Pulitzer.

Is it dark in there, Booda? 'Cause I just put you in my pocket.

Think, Doralong, think! Let's build ourselves a little empire! Where all the shoes are fabulous.

Aww, Jules, thanks...clinkies.

December 11, 2007 12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Get ready folks - the women are about the rule the web.
Also, I'm buying you extra twirly flooring for Christmas. I have an inkling you've got some mad spin skills.
Also, I love you. (:

December 11, 2007 12:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

I'm not so sure about the pink dress. Maybe the black one with the kicky skirt? I guess it depends on which earrings you're going to wear.

Sometimes it's kind of funny that I don't watch Project Runway.

December 11, 2007 12:47 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Back atcha, Hat.

It's very funny, JP. Silly goose. And just for you I will twirly in the black tulle number. But just for you.

December 11, 2007 12:57 PM  
Blogger Doralong opined...

Well, actually all my shoes are fabulous.. but in order to buy more, you're right! am I'm thinking, I swear I am!

December 11, 2007 1:57 PM  
Blogger Traveling Matt opined...

i think you're "the shit" lorraine. i love that there's so much that you could be doing, that you WANT to do, that you CAN do and that you are going for.

December 11, 2007 2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Rainey, I think the virtual organizer is a GREAT idea! At the very least, it has a certain accountability built in for the client--"Well, it isn't like someone's really coming over to do stuff...except she wants pictures. And progress reports. And..." For someone as unmotivated as yours truly, knowing that someone else is actively paying attention to results (even if it's only for a month) can be as helpful as a well-placed kick in the tuchas.

And when you are ready to submit something for publication, let me know if you'd like it proofed first. My rates are very reasonable--maybe we can work out a swap... ;)

December 11, 2007 3:09 PM  
Blogger Red Seven opined...

I used to send my plays out to anyone who was willing to read them. Haven't done that in a while, but did recently work up the nerve to submit a wee "ten-minute play" to the Washington Theatre Festival, and much like you felt about Buck, am sort of proud of myself for doing it whether it's accepted or not.

In my former life, when "struggling playwright" was actually true and not just something cute to say at parties, I found that the secret was submitting your stuff to SO MANY places that by the time an acceptance letter came back, you couldn't even remember how long ago you submitted that piece to that place.

You'll need a lot of stamps for that. Get to it!

December 11, 2007 5:55 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

Crap!..I keep thinking that you are already a famous writer!..
So who's paying these hacks I keep reading in the newspaper?

December 11, 2007 8:45 PM  
Blogger Kimberly Ann opined...

You rock and I'm glad you are putting it out there so others can find you and know it too.

December 11, 2007 9:28 PM  
Blogger Blogger opined...

I always think twice and three, four, five and six times before sending anything off, because I ALWAYS seriously doubt that anyone's going to be interested in anything I write, but ultimately, I also try to adopt a 'what have you got to lose' attitude.

That's what got me my first publication. A friend read one of my short stories and said, "Sure, it's good, but what're you going to do with it?" to which I said, "Nothing," of course. And he said, "Can you not afford to pay the price of a postage stamp right now? Because that's all you stand to lose by sending your story to someone."

So I did.

And maybe you should stop calling it self-promotion. Allow yourself to be Forster-esque about it: call it connecting with people.

December 12, 2007 5:13 AM  
Blogger thmswht opined...

way to go lorraine! i truly hope that all your dreams of writing come to fruition.

i myself am a terrible writer, and to be honest only have my little blogspace to be able to commune with you fine people. i look forward to reading you and jp every day and hope that you all will eventually have that effect on everyone!

December 12, 2007 6:13 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Doralong, it's always easier to think in fabulous shoes.

Mon, I think that's the first time anyone has every told me I was "the shit". I'm honored.

That sounds like a total deal, Syd!

Red, I think you're absolutely right about that whole sending-out-so-much-stuff-you-can't-remember strategy. Much less painful, I would think.

Sling, you just went into my pocket with Booda. Play nice.

Thanks a ton, KA.

Dariush, that means a lot coming from you, you fabulous and published writer, you. Love the postage stamp story. Into my pocket you go.

I am going to have to get bigger pockets.

December 12, 2007 8:41 AM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

Our little community here, we're kindred spirits with you.

I think your whole little family is full of three incredible people who have so much to offer this world.

Iwanski believes in you, Lorraine.

December 13, 2007 6:01 PM  

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