What I Really Want to Do is Direct

Not.

I learned something very important this weekend: movie making is not glamorous.

It is hours of waiting around for 2 minutes of action. Which you then have to repeat over and over. It is hitting your mark, opening a quarter turn to the camera, being cued and then having to wait because yet another jet is flying overhead. It is being in makeup at 9am with your first on-camera lines coming at 2:30pm. It is getting yourself all worked up so you can cry on camera and just when you get actual tears realizing that the crew is still fussing with the camera angle. It's remembering to have the sound guy take off your wireless so you can have some privacy in the bathroom. It is putting in an 8 hour day for what will amount to 5 minutes of final film and being so tired that your bones ache, even when you are sleeping.

Yup. Glam.Our.

On the plus side, the people working on this project are all really nice, really funny folks. And they are all total professionals, even though none of them is getting paid. It is very cool to see Iwanski and The Spouse's words coming to life. Things that seemed rather simple on the page became much more interesting in reality. It's fun to learn a new language:

"Kill the baby!" (Nothing to do with child abuse and everything to do with lighting).

"This is the martini shot!" (Last shot of the day - we get this right and we can all have beer).

And there's the litany for each shot:

"Slate!"
"Sound?"
"Sound ready".
"Camera?"
"Ready...camera rolling".
"Action!"

Another thing I learned about movie making is that it is a big plus to work with a good director. And I can honestly say, even though I am sleeping with him, that our director is a dream. The Spouse has a decided vision of what this film is supposed to look like and he communicates that clearly to both cast and crew. Additionally, he's a consummate professional. I have never, of course, really seen him in action movie-wise and when I did he was working as an electrician. In all his years of movie-making, he's learned a lot about direction and it shows. He's getting the performances he wants, he trusts his crew and he's on the mark with his shooting schedule. I was very apprehensive about working with him in this capacity but I needn't have been. He is A.Maz.Ing.

Not to mention, he was brilliant with The Child. I was bored out of my skull most of the time but at least I know how to cope with boredom. The Child, especially the first day, was twitchy and goofy and I, for one (though I don't think I was alone in this) frequently recalled the old Hollywood adage, "Never work with animals or children". But The Spouse managed to pull the performance he wanted from her and was able to control her in a very professional manner. It wasn't daddy yelling at the kid, it was the Director, working calmly with giddy teen talent. He did his job and she did hers. And yesterday she was far more composed and far less annoying.

It's been quite an experience so far. I'm looking forward to next weekend's shoot. I also know that I am so not giving up my day job.