Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Oh Where, Oh Where?

My kitchen shears have gone missing. I hate when that happens. I'm pretty sure The Child took them. Somehow it's easier to grab them from the little crock on the counter than to open the drawer that holds the 412 pairs of scissors (including all the ones that make groovy shaped lines).

Since she usually does her art projects in front of the television I figured that they must have fallen under the cushions or something so today I went hunting. I ended up tipping the couch on it's back. I mean, once you start unearthing junk you feel compelled to keep going. The family room needed a good sweep and mop anyway.

Well, I found 2 socks (which didn't match), a compass, 2 dinner forks, a cheese knife and a shoe (mine). I also swept up a pile of detritus. I'm not ashamed to show it to you.
Yeah. 'Bout the only things I didn't locate were the body of Jimmy Hoffa and my kitchen shears. Fine. Since they're clearly not in the couch they must be in The Child's room.
Crap.

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19 Comments:

Blogger Eric opined...

Last time I saw them was while she was cutting little strips of paper on Friday in the Family room. I remember picking up the box top or whatever along with the scraps cleaning up for our Chicken Parm fest which I enjoying the leftovers of right now.

September 05, 2007 12:16 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Ah HA! They are with the strips of paper!

September 05, 2007 12:32 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

I think Grish is right, honey. You threw away the scissors. Hope that leftover Parm is worth it.

September 05, 2007 12:34 PM  
Blogger Eric opined...

No I threw nothing away. It was The childs project and I simply set it aside.

September 05, 2007 1:39 PM  
Blogger Mom opined...

I am forever loosing kitchen shears. I thing they grow legs and walk away. For the last many Christmases Santa has filled stocking with kitchen shears. I got 14 pairs last year.

September 05, 2007 1:44 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Well, if you set it aside, where did you set it? I found no art projects.

Mom, my kitchen shears for sure have legs. They belong to The Child.

14 pairs? Really? Although, I suppose at least a back-up pair would make sense. That and a fine anytime I catch someone using said shears outside of the kitchen.

September 05, 2007 2:01 PM  
Blogger Lex Lata opined...

"Crap."

Was that an expletive, a descriptive noun, or both?

September 05, 2007 3:45 PM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

um, i was thinking i would see blissful pictures of the child by the school and of mom with a drink... not today, hu?

September 05, 2007 3:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Oh these are so going into the "Before" category. Not everyone will understand that. And that's okay. Because I know that you do.

September 05, 2007 4:03 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Both, Lex. Both.

Oh, there'll be a drink, Mouse. There'll be a drink.

Only if there is a reasonable 'after', Hat. And at the moment, that is in question.

September 05, 2007 4:29 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

Hum, missing shears, detritus from the family room, a messy child's room, I'm thinkin you need to charge these folks you live with for using your organizational skills...well, except for not finding the shears. Take of a buck for that.

September 05, 2007 6:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

This explains that phone call where you were cocktailing at 6:30 on a Wednesday.

Sorry I missed. Next time.

September 05, 2007 10:35 PM  
Blogger more cowbell opined...

Well that's a relief -- I am not the only one! What IS that? The kitchen shears are always running off! And yes, we have the canister thingy that holds the regular scissors, the school scissors, and the wavy scissors. Doesn't matter. It's the kitchen shears they go for. I have threatened to tie them to the knife block, except it's too far from the sink in this house. I have had some serious rants about the kitchen schears.

This gives me hope. Maybe I'm not the only one who buys dozens of pens yet still has none in the house. Does anyone else in your house know how to change the toilet paper roll?

Oh crap, I'm on a rant, aren't I? I'm going to bed.

September 06, 2007 1:34 AM  
Blogger Blogger opined...

I wondered what my first post-holiday Lorraine-blog-entry would be... and I'm pleased to say it brought a smile to my face and reminded me why I enjoy visiting this site so much.

Hope you find the shears. I came home to find all sorts of stuff missing: knives; various mixing bowls; washing up gloves etc etc. Thankfully, most of it's reappeared.

September 06, 2007 6:08 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Cowbell, rant on. As for the tp, everyone is capable, not all of them remember that spare rolls are stored under the cabinet NEXT TO THE FRAKKING TOILET!

Dariush!!!!!!! Welcome home! I expect a big, juicy report on all your holiday doin's. Good to hear from you!

September 06, 2007 6:59 AM  
Blogger Eric opined...

And For the Record The shears were found in the box full of strips of paper from the art project in the childs room in the bin on the shelf.

September 06, 2007 8:58 AM  
Blogger booda baby opined...

This is a comfort, to see you have detritus and not just kick ass cakes and movies.

September 06, 2007 11:28 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thank you, Harry McSpliterson.

Booda Baby, if posting a photograph of a half grocery bag full of under the couch crap can lift the spirits of just one person, then I have fulfilled my destiny.

September 06, 2007 4:25 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Ha! I think I missed my calling I should have been a Shear Detective!

September 07, 2007 2:34 AM  

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