Happy 1st of August
Is it just me or does summer feel like it's spilling away?
Last night I lay in bed forever thinking about things and not sleeping. In fact, it felt like I didn't sleep at all. Which I realize isn't true because when I was having my coffee this morning I remembered a dream. It was a terrible dream. First of all, I was a teenager. That would be enough to make me cry out in my sleep. The last thing I would want is to ever be a teenager again. Anyway, I was falling in love with a guy, who seemed to be falling in love with me, and we were being stalked by another old boyfriend of mine. So that was creepy. But the other thing was that the new guy had a dog, a Rottweiler or a doberman or something. And the dog hated me. He would be really nice to everyone else but when no one was looking he'd try to bite me.
I told the new guy about this but he didn't believe me. And then one time he left me alone with the monster. At first it acted like it wanted to play with me, so I was holding a book and letting it chew on it. But then it started chewing my hand. First just nibbly little play bites, like our dog does. But then it started really chewing on my hand. And it hurt. And I couldn't make it stop. I tried to pull my hand away but it wouldn't let go. Things were getting really ugly and scary so I did the only thing I could think of and, suddenly full of self-protective rage, I started to shove the book down the dog's throat.
I left it for dead and went to get my hand treated and when I came back, New Guy and a bunch of other people were with the dog, who wasn't dead, just seriously wounded, and they were all mad at me for hurting the dog. And I'm standing there with my bandaged hand, crying and trying to explain and all any of them could do was tell me what a horrible person I was for hurting an innocent creature.
And then the dream ran on for about another hour during which everyone in the dream shunned me and New Guy started legal proceedings against me.
Isn't that lovely?
I think I might be taking this Steve Martin thing harder than I thought.
Last night I lay in bed forever thinking about things and not sleeping. In fact, it felt like I didn't sleep at all. Which I realize isn't true because when I was having my coffee this morning I remembered a dream. It was a terrible dream. First of all, I was a teenager. That would be enough to make me cry out in my sleep. The last thing I would want is to ever be a teenager again. Anyway, I was falling in love with a guy, who seemed to be falling in love with me, and we were being stalked by another old boyfriend of mine. So that was creepy. But the other thing was that the new guy had a dog, a Rottweiler or a doberman or something. And the dog hated me. He would be really nice to everyone else but when no one was looking he'd try to bite me.
I told the new guy about this but he didn't believe me. And then one time he left me alone with the monster. At first it acted like it wanted to play with me, so I was holding a book and letting it chew on it. But then it started chewing my hand. First just nibbly little play bites, like our dog does. But then it started really chewing on my hand. And it hurt. And I couldn't make it stop. I tried to pull my hand away but it wouldn't let go. Things were getting really ugly and scary so I did the only thing I could think of and, suddenly full of self-protective rage, I started to shove the book down the dog's throat.
I left it for dead and went to get my hand treated and when I came back, New Guy and a bunch of other people were with the dog, who wasn't dead, just seriously wounded, and they were all mad at me for hurting the dog. And I'm standing there with my bandaged hand, crying and trying to explain and all any of them could do was tell me what a horrible person I was for hurting an innocent creature.
And then the dream ran on for about another hour during which everyone in the dream shunned me and New Guy started legal proceedings against me.
Isn't that lovely?
I think I might be taking this Steve Martin thing harder than I thought.
Labels: coffee, dreams, I love Steve Martin
cobbled together by Moi at 7:46 AM
23 Comments:
You know how I feel about dogs. You did the right thing.
This whole thing kind of reminds me of a scene from one of my favorite movies, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," in which --
Um, never mind.
Hey, Missy, did you want me to keep all my digits crossed for you or no?
Sometimes my dear, A cigar is just a cigar.
Yes, Mr. Freud. So that means a dog is going to chew off my hand?
Man, Auntie Raine. you've gottat stop eating ham and cheese before bed... or does that make you dream about cool blondes? I can't remember. Well, anyway, sorry about you hand. And personally, the rottwiller had it coming- those dogs are UGGGGGGLY!
"Cool blondes"...ha ha! I love the classics.
"What do you dream about if you eat liverwurst?"
"Liverwurst".
Now I'm going to be singing that "Counting Your Blessings" song all day.
Und How does that make you feel?
Not to pour salt on your hand, but I like Red's dream better.
Get bigger books? hehe
Maybe we need to drink less at cocktail hour.
Or more.
I think in the dream, the dog represented society.
You represented NPR.
And the book represented Ray Suarez.
By the way, I know for a fact that you'll out seeing that Jane Austen movie this weekend.
Just cuz I like you, I really hope it doesn't suck.
It was really a dog spider that you squished with your broom by mistake and it came back bigger and better....I think you have been reading way too much fantasy. As for the boyfriend, dump him. He is recently married and already cheating on his wife with you.
Okay, that's just too weird and scary on so many levels. I have no further comment.
See, in the dream, Steve Martin is the dog - you wanted to be with him, and his friends all thought you should get along, but the second you turn your back, he bites you in the hand and goes and marries some floozy.
Stupid dog.
What kind of book was it?
Rotts and Dobies are fairly noble beasts.Perhaps he was trying to save you from what lay within...crap..Even I don't believe that.
I think you should drink more,and lay off the ham and cheese before bed.
Sigmund, it makes me feel like eating a ham and cheese sandwich.
Well, sure, Hat, but clearly my subconcious had other ideas. Stupid subconcious.
Grish made me laugh out loud.
More, Neighb, more.
Iwanski, so I was taking one for the team?
And I really hope that movie doesn't suck, too.
A dog spider...that made me laugh out loud, too, Rosie.
G: :)
Alan: Now that's more like it. That will be the interpretation we operated on from now on. Thank you.
It was a paperback, Sling. Not, it turns out, an effective weapon against hand-chewing dogs. Note to self: take big ass art books to bed at night, just in case.
I think the night of the 31 was I night for strange dreams. What did you serve up on the dish?
My dog used to sneak and chew my hand. if i was giving her a treat she would purposefully overestimate the size of it and bite my hand while taking the treat. then she would laugh and wag her tail. Sometimes she would casually chew my hand and relax. I miss my dog and can't wait to have one again and that is what I take away from this post :)
Mouse, BBQ chicken and baked beans. Surely such fare is not nightmare inducing.
Monica: That's why I keep you around. For perspective.
What would Jung say? Part of you is you, but other parts of you manifest themselves as New Guy and Mean Dog. And, of course, Creepy Stalker Ex.
It's no wonder people sometimes hate Jung.
Holy Canines, girl, that is my neighbor's dog!! The Hounds of Hell, Rottweiler and 2 (count'em) Dobies! How did they get from my neighborhood into your dream?
Like Steve Martin couldn't have showed up and distracted them with his Wild & Crazy Guy routine.
and feeling the artichoke flowers is an interesting experience all in and of itself
Bob
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