Thursday, July 26, 2007

5% of Every Purchase Goes to the School of Your Choice

I remembered what I wanted to tell you the other day. The Child and I went shopping for school supplies. (Balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling).

This continues to be one of my very favorite things to do, EVER, even though it has its challenges. Turns out, The Child got my office supplies gene. Consequently, keeping her to the list and not buying anything else is a struggle. And really, can you blame her? Have you seen school supplies lately?

When I was The Child's age my school supplies list consisted of:

(1) notebook (which had a dark blue cloth cover; as did every other kid's notebook)
(1) packet wide rule notebook paper
(1) ruler (pale, blonde wood; like every other kid's)
(1) pair scissors (metal)
(1) Bic ball point pen (blue ink)
(1) packet #2 pencils
(1) box colored pencils (12 to a box)
(1) compass (plain ol' metal, just like the scissors)
(1) bottle Elmer's glue
(1) PeeChee folder (which one would immediately customize by giving air quotes to all the people, drawing mustaches and beards on the guys, maybe some fishnet stockings for the cheerleader, like that)

That was it. On the first day of school, you showed up with your supplies in a shopping bag, tossed them into your desk, arranging the pen and a couple of pencils just so in that little lippy shelf thing at the front of the inside of the desk. When school was out for the day you piled your textbooks on top of your notebook and carried the stack home.

Now days, school supplies come in such a plethora of styles it makes your head spin. There wasn't a single item she needed that didn't come in at least 5 different varieties. You can buy entire suites of color coordinated school supplies, from assignment books to binders and everything in between. You know the only thing that is still simple to get? Note book paper and #2 pencils. The rest of it is all about weighing the coolness quotient (her criteria) against price (mine) while factoring in general aesthetics (a motivation we share).

The Child's supply list was simplified from last year in that there were things (scientific calculator, thesaurus, New American Standard Bible) that were purchased last year. In fact, this was one of the least expensive school supply purchases ever. But it was hardly a simple errand, an "in-and-out, now let's go get some lunch" sort of trip. Sure, it looks straight-forward. "Seven single subject spiral notebooks", reads the list.

But which spiral notebooks? The Child kept finding new styles, each one cuter than the last (must have been 20 kinds. I'm not exaggerating). Then I dealt a blow, telling her to just get the plain (and far less expensive) spirals so that she can stick to her color coding system.

"But those are sooooo boring," she complained.

Then I did it. Yes, I did. I pulled out the old "Well, in my day"..."everyone's school stuff looked the same"... "we never had book bags"... "rulers were made of wood and they didn't come in 13 different color combinations"... "they hadn't even invented glue sticks yet"...

That pretty much shut her up, mostly because she just couldn't imagine a world without glue sticks. "What did you use?" she asked in wide-eyed wonder.

"Elmer's glue; plain old Elmer's glue".

"Like this?" she said, picking up the one marked "School glue".

"Nope."

"Like this?", brandishing some sort of blue looking something that apparently goes on clear.

"Nope. Like this. Plain old white Elmer's glue".

"That's amazing", she said, shaking her head.

(I didn't tell her about that thing we'd do where we'd pour some Elmer's on the palm of our hand, spread it out and let it dry so we could try and peel off the whole thing in one go, creating a creepy skin like replica of our palm. We went through a lot of Elmer's that way).

Down the list we go:
Choosing just the right assignment book ("I like this one because it has a lot of space," she said. I liked it because it had this funky orange and lavender cover). √

Selecting folders to match the plain old boring spiral notebooks (that part was fun. The variety is mind-boggling. She went for a combination of post-modern graphics and ones with kitties and horsies). √

Sticky things (Elmer's, glue sticks AND scotch tape). √

2 inch binder. There weren't any 2 inch binders in the section of all too groovy binders (not to mention that binders are now made almost exclusively of very thin plastic which can't possibly hold up to 10 months of bashing around in a back pack). We had to resort to a plain old white binder. There was going to be drama over that. I told her she could decorate it with stickers or something. √

She wanted a new back pack. Which she so doesn't need. That was a protracted debate on par with UN negotiators discussing nuclear development with Iran. In this case, the UN won. Although every once in a while Iran would think of the messenger bag she had fallen for and would mutter "It's only $12". The UN told her that she can go back and buy it with her own money if she wants it that badly.

There were a few other moms and kids engaged in the same project. One was with a little bit of a thing, probably just going off to kindergarten. I had a stab of wistful "seems like yesterday" which just about teetered off into a maudlin "oh, this is the last time we're going to go school shopping together" moment which was abruptly halted when The Child started begging for "these really cute" pink and brown polka dot file folders even though file folders aren't on the list. Which is when I knew that we still have 4 lunch-and-school-shopping trips ahead of us.

There is no way that kid is going to be left alone to do her school shopping unless she's paying for it herself.

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37 Comments:

Blogger Red Seven opined...

I did the creepy palm thing with the Elmer's Glue too!!

There's this charity thing at our office where we're each supposed to go out and buy one complete set of school supplies for a child in need. We all signed up, but we're making the parents do all the shopping for us and then we'll pay.

Is that wrong of me? Tra la la, I don't care; I still have 550 pages of Harry Potter VII to get through.

July 26, 2007 10:27 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Let's see how many other people admit to it, Red.

And you know what I would love? I would love to come to DC and do all that shopping on behalf of your office. It would make me sooooo happy.

Hurry up with HP, dammit.

July 26, 2007 10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

This was so fun to read. I can't believe you did the 'back in my day' bit. I think that's the first time I have ever pictured you as like, a mom mom. Y'know what a mean? And that alone made me laugh heartily. Oh yes my friend! Heartily!

P.S. glue palms for me too. Also, glue hearts inside of desk that dry hard and peel off. WAY cute.

July 26, 2007 10:38 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

LOL, Hat. Yeah, every once in a while I get my Mom Mom on. Boom chacka lacka lacka.

July 26, 2007 10:47 AM  
Blogger Br. Jonathan opined...

Okay, I did the glue on the palm too. In 2nd grade I also ate the paste because it smelled like peppermint. (remember the paste that came with the little plastic paddle?)

I'll bet you can still remember what a brand new pack of Crayola crayons smelled like. Remember when you finall got the big 64-pack with the built-in crayon sharpener? God that was exciting.

July 26, 2007 11:17 AM  
Blogger Eric opined...

Glue palm? me too. Though oddly while I was reading about the elmers the image of the glue palm was going through my head and I felt so perverse. Only to be accepted as perfectly normal behavior.

Ah Validation at last.

July 26, 2007 12:23 PM  
Blogger more cowbell opined...

Ohmygawd, already?! What are you, superwoman? Crap! I can't think about that yet.

Ooh, and did you do the thing where you put Elmer's glue in the little divet that runs along the center of the ruler, let them all dry (overnight), then peel them off, lick one end, and glue them onto your fingernails? Manicure in a bottle. Then you have to follow people around, waving your claws in their faces.

I love office supplies. I love when I need some for my office, and I get to pick the cool stuff and it goes on the company budget.

July 26, 2007 12:39 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Jon: Christmas the year I was in first grade, that's when I got my first box of 64. Still one of the best Christmases of my life!

Honey, it's validation of a kind but look around at who's validating you. Normal?

Cowbell: It's not a superwoman thing. We used to do it the week before school but by then all the good stuff is picked through. We go earlier because The Child insists on it.

July 26, 2007 12:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

I did the glue palm thing too. We did it at home as well, and added food coloring to the glue so that we could have palm skins of many colors. We should have shipped them all off to Dolly Parton so she could write a song about it...Anywho, you have nerves of steel woman. Can't stand shopping with lists, especially for things that suggest work, like school supplies. My underachiever/slacker hep front would have been blown to bits. Food is the only thing I shop for with a list, because realizing you don't have enough____ while you are almost finished with a dish is the worst feeling in the world. Can't stand the mad dash back to the store.

July 26, 2007 2:01 PM  
Blogger Dana opined...

Me too...
But I was always slightly anxious the the skin underneath wasn't getting enough oxygen and would die and peel off FOR REAL. Which took away some of the fun.

Yep. I was that kind of kid.

July 26, 2007 2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

This post caused me stress, because every year when the school supplies started showing up in the stores that meant that summer was ending soon and it was time to go back to school.

But then I remembered that I'm 37 and not in school anymore and so my stress level dropped a little bit. But just a little.

July 26, 2007 2:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

I have a sudden urge to eat glue. Great. Off one bad thing for me and off I run to another...

And, no, officially I'm not reading and commenting on your blog while I should be working.

I'm researching potential...um...supporters. Yeah, that's what I'm doing.

July 26, 2007 2:15 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Our kiddies are in a private school that ships us stuff via ups. The problem is of course that we have to ship back the non-consumables every year too. I just sent like 50lbs of stuff via UPS today. I don't remember seeing any Glue though..:-P

July 26, 2007 2:20 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Ah, Tater, you're a man after my own heart. Not the list thing. I love shopping with lists. The hating to run to the store for the one thing you forgot to buy when grocery shopping thing. That is the worst.

Dana, please know that I am not chortling at you. Really.

Ok, I am.

Oh, Poodle. Sorry about the stress. But remember, not only do you not have to go back to school, you can drink beer legally, too.

Take a deep breath, Alan. You are stronger than the urge to eat glue. As for the other thing, I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to vote in Maine. But I'm sure I'd support your candidate if I did. There. Problem solved.

See, Grish? Your kids are probably doing the creepy glue-on-the-palms thing.

July 26, 2007 2:43 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

You could give me a 64 crayon box right now and I'd be pretty excited. Expeshully if it gots a sharpener built in.

July 26, 2007 4:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

WARNING to Dana! Lorraine is known for her chortling. Be advised.

July 26, 2007 4:22 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

I used to melt my crayons...8 colors....on top of my notebook in weird shapes and they would leave a stain..kind of my artistic side showing. I remember the year I talked my mom into getting me a houndstooth zipper binder with pockets inside. I felt so cool.

July 26, 2007 4:59 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

Wasting perfectly good glue with such wild abandon?..Bllaphemy!

Back in my day..

Blue denim notebook,
Double spaced notebook paper,
Bic pens,black,
plastic cover sheets and black vinyl binders for reports,
Dad's perfectly good used compass and protractor,
..and an economy sized bottle of Maalox to keep in the nurse's office for those times when ulcer flared up..Hmmphh..

July 26, 2007 5:17 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

..oh dear...That should read "Blasphemy!"...where's my Maalox?..

July 26, 2007 5:18 PM  
Blogger more cowbell opined...

oh, the Child is a genius. My kids will get all the crap notebooks and ugly folders.

Seriously, are none of you going to admit to doing the fingernail thing?

July 26, 2007 7:01 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Coo, Iwanski. The sharpener in the box was the. cool. est.

Hat, I only chortle with love.

Ooh, Rosie. I may have to teach The Child that trick for her oh-so-boring binder.

Sling: Bllaphemy? Oh no. We're keeping that one.

July 26, 2007 7:21 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

See? Shop early and you get the groovy stuff. As for the fingernail thing, C'Bell, um, I'm thinkin' no one actually tried that. Kinda want to now, though.

July 26, 2007 7:40 PM  
Blogger Traveling Matt opined...

I used to make hand prints out of glue too and then later roll it into a ball and throw it...ick. School supply shopping is one of the most awesome things to do ever. I order the office supplies at work so SCORE for me!

ps so far, Top Chef etc. have held me over until the next project runway but i'm getting antsy over here.

July 26, 2007 7:54 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Ok, I did the wadding up and throwing the creepy glue hand thing, too. What a bunch of pips we are.

RE: PR - I never got into Top Chef that much (I kinda hate the "cooking as extreme sport" thing); totally feeling the antsy. When is PR coming back, anyway?

July 26, 2007 7:57 PM  
Blogger TWISI opined...

Just imagine how appalled she would be if you let her know that in "our" day you had to do math on your fingers, without the help of a calculator!

And yes, I admit the Elmer's Glue thing.... but rubber cement was SO much better!

July 27, 2007 7:05 AM  
Blogger Traveling Matt opined...

PR will be back soon. Auditions were in april if i'm not mistaken and fashion week is in september right? so it'll need to be getting started soon. BTW top chef is a ton better than "top design" which was embarassingly bad.

July 27, 2007 7:12 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

TWISI: Yeah. And school lunches never included things like chicken caesar salad or burritos. Not to mention the whole walking-three-miles-to-school-in-the-snow-uphill-both-ways thing.

Yippee! You give me hope, Monica. Plus I have some links to some really hysterical PR blogs that I'll put back up when the show starts again. You'll love them!

July 27, 2007 7:32 AM  
Blogger Dana opined...

Remember the smell of Trapper Keepers? It was the plasticky smell of a fresh beginning...of possibility...At least, for me it was.

July 27, 2007 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ah yes. The aroma of fresh school supplies and the thrill of the purchase!

I'm with Jon - before Elmer's, there was Lepage's paste. I remember the delicious minty taste of it, all clean and white.

If too much was eaten there was the hasty trip to the backside of the play shed.. which was what olden day gym structures were called.. behind the one room school of the childhood.

July 27, 2007 9:29 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

I always wanted a Trapper Keeper, Dana. But I never got to have one. So deprived. Maybe I'll go buy one now just because I can.

DJ: See? I obviously got the office supply gene from you. And I remember minty paste. With the little brush in the lid. That was in the very early elementary days. And yeah, it made a nice little apres lunch snack, as I recall.

July 27, 2007 9:32 AM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

Gee, Im like way behind here!
The kids keep asking when are we going! Our school requires one color note books and folders, so we dont have to deal with that.

we start school late this year Aug 23 i think, so i still have time. Right now its all about getting haircuts

July 27, 2007 10:42 AM  
Blogger Suzanne opined...

Online school (home school) has "some" advantages!

July 27, 2007 12:15 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Mouse: Haircuts. I knew I was forgetting something.

P'haps, Suz, but I do enjoy the supply shopping bit.

July 27, 2007 12:19 PM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

My grandkids were doing the creepy palm thing (that their mother taught them) just two days ago! And of course, I did it too, but I vividly remember the minty paste with the spatula thingee, and eating it.

I was deprived too. Blue canvas-over-cardboard binders only. College ruled paper when we got older. #2 pencils and black Bic pens. Yeah, the 64 color box of Crayola Crayons was THE BEST. I do remember getting to buy a pencil box, and how exciting that was - and my first slide rule. My grandkids get a list of supplies they are required to purchase. These supplies then go into a pool of supplies, from which the children are given supplies as they need them, so it is senseless to buy anything but the most generic items. I think they do get to keep one notebook for themselves, but pens, pencils, glue, Kleenex, paper, erasers, etc. are all community property. I don't know what they do about kids whose families can't afford the supplies.

Office supply stores are almost as appealing to me as kitchen gadget stores and electronics stores.

July 27, 2007 12:29 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Gina, I honestly don't know which I like better: office supply/stationary stores or kitchen places.

July 27, 2007 12:30 PM  
Blogger Molly opined...

the creepy elmer's glue thing... know we beat up those kids.

I LOVE SCHOOL SHOPPING!!! It's possibly one of teh msot exciting things every, the variety however is bit over the top... do they really have to kill that many trees.

July 28, 2007 11:52 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

"Now we beat up those kids"...you crack me up, Mols!

July 28, 2007 2:40 PM  

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