Quotations of a Tweenage Drama Queen

"Everyone was picking on me!"

(Translation: "You wouldn't let me unpack the precious china that Uncle Payson sent but I kept trying and when you finally raised your voice Papa came in and told me to find something else to do").

"It's allllll my fault!!!"

(Translation: "My friend's snake died and even though I haven't seen the snake for 3 weeks and have absolutely nothing to do with it's care and feeding and even though stuff dies eventually I feel bad for my friend plus it reminds me of the time my frog died because it was too hot").

"You don't understand! You NEVER understand!"

(Translation: "I am really pissed off that you won't late me stay up until midnight watching a bloody show on the Disney channel, even though we both know it will be rerun 412 times between now and noon tomorrow").

"Now I'm going to fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(Translation: "I can't find my 3rd book report book even though it's got to be in here somewhere. I'm just so tired and angry and frustrated and sad for my friend that I can't see straight).

(In a baby voice): "Tell me a story, mama".

(Translation: "Tell me a story, mama. When I get like this sometimes it scares me. I need to know that you still love me no matter what, even when I act like I'm insane").

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So I told her a story about a dandelion eating unicorn who, after being rebuffed by a cat, fell in love with a beautiful young woman and who, upon kissing her, turned into Dylan Sprouse, star of that fabulous Disney sit-com, "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody". I know my audience.