Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Let's get one thing clear straight off. I love Johnny Depp and suspect I always will.
We took The Child and Best Friend to see the movie on Saturday afternoon. There is a little cinema in an old Masonic temple down the street. It is a very groovy, cozy little theatre. There are lots of similar little places around town, "art houses" you'd have to call them, that specialize in indy and foreign films. The Columbia City theatre is struggling to make it's way by showing first run films. I don't know how they manage but they've been hanging in there for a couple years now. It's just so very cool to be able to see a "big" picture without going to a 412 screen cineplex and pay $41.12 for a small bag of popcorn.
I never read movie reviews if there is the remotest possible chance that I'll be seeing the film in a theatre. (Which is rare because most of the movies I like are going to be just fine viewed on the big screen at home once it comes out on DVD. And I'm so behind on recent movies that I can wait. Urgency is just not a part of the equation for me). I like to make up my own mind and not be influenced by the reviews. It had filtered down through the ether that the reviews of "Pirates" were "mixed" but I didn't really know why. And with Orlando, Keira and Johnny how bad could it be?
So I sat with my open mind and my Hot Tamales for 2 and a half hours that I am NEVER getting back, willing myself not to hate this movie that, had they cut it by about 45 or so minutes, would have been fabulous. But it wasn't. It just kept going and going and going, for no discernible reason than to set everything up for the 3rd movie. Which seems like a real cynical waste of talent, celluloid and time.
The special effects are fabulous. The costume/makeup situation is amazing...especially the pirates on The Flying Dutchman. Holy mother of Pearl! Davy Jones is totally creepy and I never was innured to the creepiness thereof. The acting was fine. Johnny Depp plays Captain Jack with a little less swish than in the first film but I think that owes not to any anti-swish agenda on the part of the studio and everything to do with the spark between him and Elizabeth and the need to move that forward.
I loved the opening scene of the movie and the film, on balance, is cinematically near-perfect. The nugget of story was well done and even compelling. Had they focused on that instead of all the other fol-di-rol, which seemed like a "coming attractions" promotion for new rides at Disneyland, it would have been a terrific film for a Saturday afternoon. But in the end there was too much chasing around and and not enough pure storytelling. And that's what I hated about it.
So if you haven't gone yet, I'm telling you, save your ducats. Rent it on Netflix if you want because at least then you'll be able to go to the bathroom without feeling like you're missing anything. (And if you do go to the movie feel free to use the restroom anywhere in the middle of the longest 2.5 hours of your life because you will not miss a damn thing. You'll want to see the last 30 minutes or so. Plan accordingly).
The Film Czarina gives "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" 2 out of 5 Koihead.
Labels: 412, movie reviews
cobbled together by Moi at 7:10 AM
11 Comments:
I got the review from my youngest who said the first one was way better. So we're on the same page.
Agreed on most parts. Too long, not enough swish, and I'll add, too gory for a family audience.
But then, the first one wasn't all that much better. Johnny Depp IS both movies, hands down, so much so that for me it justified the price of admission.
I did like how they incorporated alot of slapstick comedy with this one, visual gags throughout the film. Like when the main action is happening in the foreground but yet something funny keeps happening in the background. You don't see much of that anymore.
Just checking in to explain failure to provide ecclesiastical commentary lately.
The Cardinal has a stone. Not one you can kiss. Also, the phrase "this too shall pass" would not be accurate. One good thing, no one can now tell the Cardinal that he cannot know real pain because he has never had a baby. Just try giving birth to a 7- or 8-millimeter chunk of calcium oxalate (we're going to name it Pierre) through the teeniest of canals. That would be pain.
The good news: the Cardinal has writhed himself down a size and can now wear an updated junior petit soutane. Wanly.
Cardinal, I was starting to get worried. And as someone who HAS given birth (without drugs) and has passed a stone, trust me. The stone is INFINATELY more painful. The worst ever. You have my most sincere sympathies. I will have the Court Composer whip up a little motet for you and also send you a silver basket of figs from the Summer Palace. Hope you are swanning around the gilded halls again soon.
Oh goody! No one likes a saucy motet like the Cardinal.
Will it be a Faberge basket, and will there be a tiny jewelled asp concealed within?
Oh, Cardinal, Asps are so last dynasty. There will doubtless be a surprise to your liking as I have been busy tatting maniples and mozettas...but perhaps I say too much. The Smyrna figs are lovely this season...
I don't know anything about this movie, but I loved that ride when I was a kid.
Depp is great actor, but it sucks when studios make big-budget action movies where the stars really don't get to act that much.
Iwanski, Depp is fabulous. As always. He could read the phone book and be fabulous. He coudl have had one line and he'd have been fabulous. Alas, I would have liked more meat to the story.
PoC was my favorite part of Disneyland,too. What I liked about the first movie was the way that childhood image/feeling came to life. What I hated about the second was the way it seemed too much like a ride and not enough like a story. (Hell, wish I'd said that in the original post).
Concur, concur and concur. The nephews liked it though, which was a great way to entertain THEM for nearly three hours. A nearly imposible feat, that.
I'm with ya'
Ducat. That's French for "of the cat", for you non frenchofiles.
I soooo wanted that movie to be wonderful and great. I haven't seen it for myself, though, so I still withhold judgement.
Not that I don't trust you. It's just that I trust Johnny Depp more. No offense.
Post a Comment
<< Home