Wow. Heavy.

This is going to be a little long and possibly depressing but I have to talk to someone.

I was minding my own business this afternoon, toodling down Rainier Ave. toward Trader Joe’s, listening to NPR discussions of the situation in the Middle East and feeling at once very sad about it all but also removed from the tragedy. Suddenly, about 10 yards ahead of me, in the other lane, a car came to a sudden stop, I heard a thump and saw something go flying. There was a big SUV in front of me so I was spared the details but the car had hit a pedestrian or a cyclist or maybe someone on a scooter. Everything came to a stop, about a dozen cell phones came out and we all sat there for a few minutes. Those of us not directly involved were able to exit Rainier and go on about our business, but we had to drive past the victim. I couldn’t see much (to be honest, I wasn’t looking that closely) but the person seemed to be very, very still. And while there were a lot of people standing nearby, no one was actually with the body…which tells me that there wasn’t anything anyone could do.

The other evening, The Spouse and one of his movie comrades were driving the grip truck when they suddenly heard a “pop, pop, pop” and turned to see someone fall down dead.

The convergence of these incidents has had me thinking all afternoon. Life is precious. And it can be taken very quickly. I am personally holding out for the quiet-passing-on-in my-sleep-when-I’m-412 mode of exiting the planet but it is a good, if unsettling thing, to be forced to contemplate the tenuous nature of human life. Which I was doing as I wandered the aisles of Trader Joe’s looking for aioli and figs and tomato paste. And I felt pretty darned lucky to be able to do so. Because I am, for now, here and it would be a shame not to be just a bit more mindful of that gift.

So there I am, embracing the lesson that the universe is offering and get to my car. I load my groceries and then realize that the putz next to me has parked over the parking line and in such a fashion that I a) can’t get in the driver’s side of the car and 2) I can’t back out without whacking their fracking side mirror with my own. On the other side of me is a mini van and the woman who owned it showed up just as I finished loading groceries. She had 2 small kids and was pregnant. I offered to help her.

“Oh, that’s fine,” she said, a little testily if the truth be told. (Maybe she thought I was treating her like an invalid because she’s preggers).

“It’s no trouble,” I said. “I can’t go anywhere anyway” and explain the situation.

So we start chatting and of course, comment on the inconsiderate nature of the boob parked next to me.

“With everything that is going on in the world right now,” I said, “would it really hurt people to extend just a smidge of courtesy?”

She replied, “Oh, there’s no courtesy anymore”. I felt inclined to agree with her but it made me sad because I’d just seen death and had been thinking about embracing life more fully and somehow courtesy seemed to factor into that. You know, I’m still here and you’re still here so while we are let’s park our cars properly so as not to inconvenience others.

Her groceries loaded, I climb into my car from the passenger side (glad once again that I don’t weigh 412 pounds) and wait for her to pull out so that I can maneuver myself out via her empty space. Another car came up and was waiting to take her spot. She waved to them to drive on. They sat, because they wanted the space. She got out of her car and went to explain to them that I needed room to get out of the garage. So they drove around again. She left, I left and then I thought, “Hey, that was courteous!” She had courteously told the other driver to give me room. The other driver had courteously obliged.

I still had some shopping to do so I started looking for random acts of courtesy and I was rewarded. I remembered the woman who, right after the accident, got out of her car with a blanket for the victim. There was the guy who not only let someone turn across 2 lanes of traffic in front of him but actually waved the person through when it was clear. There was the customer at the drugstore who, having finished her shopping, helped a woman in a wheelchair get her shopping cart out of the store. There was me on my way home, letting a Lexus merge in front of me because the traffic was still hinky at the site of the accident. [Note: I try to be a courteous driver but do have a bias against Lexus drivers. But since this guy was actually using his expensive turn signals and waiting patiently for a break, I gave him one]. And there was the person who finally let me merge. (I will not dwell on the discourtesy of the 9 cars before him because I’m trying to be upbeat here).

Please forgive me for rambling a bit. I’m still a little shaky. But I’m thankful. I’m thankful to be alive on a beautiful July afternoon. I’m thankful that The Child’s best friend in the whole world is spending the night. I’m thankful that we have a lovely evening planned with neighbors and friends. I’m thankful that The Child, who was about to get really pissy with me because I was insisting she clean her room decided to cooperate. And I’m thankful that when I told her what had happened her initial response was to give me a hug and her second was to stick a fake jewel on her forehead and make up a song and dance for me that was really more Chinese than Indian (because it was about chow mien) but it was funny and it’s the thought that counts.

So listen, please take care of yourself this weekend. And for the rest of your life. Which I hope is long and blessed. And be kind to others. Because you can.