A New Day

I took to my bed yesterday, my suffering eased only by the ministrations of my little dog, who gently licked my brow. As I lay in a darkened, fetid sickroom I thought, "HMOG, Bush is going to invade Mexico!"

It seemed just crazy enough to be something his gang would cook up. And think of the problems it would solve. If we annexed Mexico we'd resolve the immigration problem in one fell swoop because, well, if Mexico was ours then the people would be ours so they wouldn't be trying to get into America anymore because they'd already be in America. Talk about a win-win situation. And on top of that we'd get their oil, tequila, silver bracelets and all the Chicklets we could chew. This was starting to sound like a pretty good plan.

By the afternoon I was all better. Wrung out, but better. I was completely useless all day. Well, I managed to pay the mortgage on time. That's always good. But as the hour for the President's speech approached I began to feel vaguely anxious. What if an invasion of Mexico wasn't the result of a bird talon headache? What if, while thrashing in pain, I'd accidently turned on the radio and heard an NPR analyisis?

Imagine my relief. We aren't invading Mexico. Not yet anyway. We're sending a mess of troops to the border for a year (where they're coming from I have no idea) and we're going to be setting up cameras and building walls and generally seeing to it that our border is less porous (how we'll pay for it I have no idea). But we are NOT invading Mexico. Yet.

And, while this may seem like a remnant of my headache induced lunacy, I tell you in complete honesty that watching the President last night didn't exactly make my skin itch. Maybe because he wasn't invoking 9/11 every 30 seconds and actually seemed to have a plan. In fact, not all of his plan is bad. And, again, I know this is going to seem crazy, but he even gets some snaps. 2 snaps. 1 for taking on those critics who want to round up all the immigrants and deport them. (If he'd mentioned that these critics were members of his own party I might have given him double snaps on this one but me giving Bush snaps...come on. He's so happy right now). He laid out a very cogent description of the path that should be created for those who have been here illegally for a long time and I agree with him. (Cue the flying pigs....) His 2nd snap is for urging us to try and be civilized in conducting this debate and to remember that we are talking about human beings with dignity and worth.

I feel great this morning and thanks to all of you sweet people who wished me well. (Oh, that's cool. I never really thought of what that phrase means). My head is clear, my heart is pure and yes, of course, I still think W is the worst president we've ever had. Calm down. I'm going into Maria's this morning and then I'll hopefully be able to spend the afternoon in far more productive ways than I did yesterday. Like think about what I'm going to do with my share of the tequila.