Something to Get Off My Chest

There is a list bouncing around in my head. Items from that list wake me up at night. Sometimes, during the day, they make my stomach fluttery. Most of the items are small, very small. They fall under the "to do" category of life and if I would (if I could) take just a few minutes for myself I could probably dispatch most of them with a fair amount of ease. Others of the items have a little more heft and they have similar biological effects on me but they are harder to sort out, harder to dismiss. These range from figuring out who is sending me hate mail at work (a task in which I'm not alone because the police are helping) to ponder The Child's future.

OK, I already feel better having achieved one objective, which was telling you about the hate mail. It's part of the reason I haven't blogged lately (because some have theorized that it is someone who reads my blog...although for a couple of reasons I think that's a stretch. Although the hater does bear two similarities to the 2 (or is it 3) people who have hated on the blog over the years. Those characteristics are a) a deep and abiding love and loyalty to George W. Bush and 2) a complete inability to own their own stuff, thus sending the letters anonymously.

There have been 2 letters so far, purporting to be from former guests. But they are postmarked locally, they are always signed with different names - first name only - and there is no return address. So if MAB were inclined to contact the disgruntled individual and give them some sort of satisfaction she wouldn't be able to. Because they don't want to be contacted. Or known. They just want to, at best, be hurtful and at worst, I suppose, see me fired. Since MAB is not a knee jerk reactionary and since the accusations of the individual are so far-fetched and since there is a good body of evidence as to my ability to do my job well, this scenario is unlikely. Although stranger things have happened in the world.

But it does make you just wonder, doesn't it? About haters? About the depth of hatred that is resident is some of our citizenry these days? Because these aren't people who are unhappy with policy decisions. These are people who are angry at and bear significant ill will toward other people.

And yes. It is very fair to say that when I have formerly criticized the decisions of the previous administration, I was not always politic in doing so. I'm pretty sure I never said I hated GWB but I know I was less reserved relative to some of his cronies. And I must say, that between the rabid lunacies of certain FAUX News commentators, the unvarnished racism and loathing exhibited by the so call "Tea Party" movement and my own private brush up with conservative ideology run amok, I have done my share of soul searching. Because I do rather wish there were again such a thing as civil discourse in this country and I am sorry for the times when I contributed to the opposite.

On the other hand, what kind of person sends mean, anonymous letters to another person without giving her the opportunity for questioning or dialogue or even for apology or clarification? It's certainly not a person secure enough in her/his convictions to face me. And I think, though this may sound judgemental, he/she is not a very nice person. Hopefully the police will figure that out for me pretty soon.