Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Something to Get Off My Chest

There is a list bouncing around in my head. Items from that list wake me up at night. Sometimes, during the day, they make my stomach fluttery. Most of the items are small, very small. They fall under the "to do" category of life and if I would (if I could) take just a few minutes for myself I could probably dispatch most of them with a fair amount of ease. Others of the items have a little more heft and they have similar biological effects on me but they are harder to sort out, harder to dismiss. These range from figuring out who is sending me hate mail at work (a task in which I'm not alone because the police are helping) to ponder The Child's future.

OK, I already feel better having achieved one objective, which was telling you about the hate mail. It's part of the reason I haven't blogged lately (because some have theorized that it is someone who reads my blog...although for a couple of reasons I think that's a stretch. Although the hater does bear two similarities to the 2 (or is it 3) people who have hated on the blog over the years. Those characteristics are a) a deep and abiding love and loyalty to George W. Bush and 2) a complete inability to own their own stuff, thus sending the letters anonymously.

There have been 2 letters so far, purporting to be from former guests. But they are postmarked locally, they are always signed with different names - first name only - and there is no return address. So if MAB were inclined to contact the disgruntled individual and give them some sort of satisfaction she wouldn't be able to. Because they don't want to be contacted. Or known. They just want to, at best, be hurtful and at worst, I suppose, see me fired. Since MAB is not a knee jerk reactionary and since the accusations of the individual are so far-fetched and since there is a good body of evidence as to my ability to do my job well, this scenario is unlikely. Although stranger things have happened in the world.

But it does make you just wonder, doesn't it? About haters? About the depth of hatred that is resident is some of our citizenry these days? Because these aren't people who are unhappy with policy decisions. These are people who are angry at and bear significant ill will toward other people.

And yes. It is very fair to say that when I have formerly criticized the decisions of the previous administration, I was not always politic in doing so. I'm pretty sure I never said I hated GWB but I know I was less reserved relative to some of his cronies. And I must say, that between the rabid lunacies of certain FAUX News commentators, the unvarnished racism and loathing exhibited by the so call "Tea Party" movement and my own private brush up with conservative ideology run amok, I have done my share of soul searching. Because I do rather wish there were again such a thing as civil discourse in this country and I am sorry for the times when I contributed to the opposite.

On the other hand, what kind of person sends mean, anonymous letters to another person without giving her the opportunity for questioning or dialogue or even for apology or clarification? It's certainly not a person secure enough in her/his convictions to face me. And I think, though this may sound judgemental, he/she is not a very nice person. Hopefully the police will figure that out for me pretty soon.


Blogger Anne opined...

Wow. I didn't know you were going through this. My prayers are with you on this. Blessing, friend.

March 24, 2010 7:08 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thanks, my dear. I appreciate that.

March 24, 2010 7:17 AM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

wow that is crazy..sorry you have to go through this.

March 24, 2010 8:00 AM  
Blogger Cliff O'Neill opined...

Oh dear. So sorry to hear you're being so traumatized.

Hugs, darlin'. Keep ya head up!

March 24, 2010 8:23 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thanks, Sage. Nothing a little peanut butter won't cure.

I feel better already, Cliff. Hugs back.

March 24, 2010 8:44 AM  
Blogger Random Thinker opined...

Being stressed and unnerved are mild reactions in the face of that. Hope they figure it out soon so you can relax.

March 24, 2010 9:10 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

holy crapmail.......that is astounding. So, this mail is coming to work....maybe from a former blogger....who is a GWB fan......anonymously. Really sad that you have to experience this. Anonymous mail senders are usually a little off, are insecure, not sure of their beliefs but they are following not leading in those beliefs, and just generally miserable....that's my theory anyway. Weird....the Board of Trustees at the Library that I am finishing up my term with recently got anonymous letters/no return address from a "Loyal Patron" protesting a certain issue before the board at the moment. Gina and I being sleuth like figured out who the sender was....not a patron but an employee. Maybe in your case too? You know that after 9/11 every piece of mail had to have a return address or it wouldn't be sent.....that crack in the process seems to be widening. Sorry you have to carry a burden like that, Lorraine. Since I am on a roll.....the child's future.....she will do and be what she will do and be. Once she is 18...2 years's up to her with your guidance and maybe financial help. All you can do is pray that she matures and stays on the road going forward and that she listens to you and Eric sincerely. Kisses and hugs to you.

March 24, 2010 10:53 AM  
Blogger Dena opined...

Oh Lorraine, so sorry this is going on in your life. Let's hope they find who is doing this soon. Hugs from TX

March 24, 2010 12:00 PM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Rainey, the most astounding thing is that this hate mail is coming to YOU--who on earth could hate you???? You're Lorraine!--one of the kindest, most loving people that I've ever known! They must be seriously crazy.

Anyway, I'm so so sorry to hear about this, and I hope and pray that the police find the person, or at least the person stops sending the letters--and then gets some mental help.

March 24, 2010 12:28 PM  
Blogger sfoofie opined...

You are truly the kindest soul and I'm glad you took this straight to the police. We can all learn to be more civil in this day and age. I do shamefully hang my head a bit at the hatin I've done of the GWB administration. *hugs*

March 24, 2010 4:51 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

This makes me so mad,I can hardly comment.
It seems clear that whoever is sending these letters just wants to hate.
If they felt they had an honest gripe,they would have signed them.
I think tracking down who sent them,is probably easier than the writer thinks.

March 24, 2010 6:22 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

I'm sad at hearing this. I think I want to come to Seattle and smash someone into an anonymous pulp.

March 24, 2010 9:32 PM  
Blogger Mom opined...

Anonymous haters are cowards who think they just throw out hatred and intimidate good people. You are good people. I am sad and angry. Hope the police can find this crazy coward and intimidate him.

March 24, 2010 10:20 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thanks, Random. It is annoying to have to worry about something stoopid like this. Stoopid person.

Rosie, I actually do think it is coming from an employee...maybe someone who thinks he/she should have my job. The thing is that the letters are being mailed from here and we don't take guests locally. And no one who was in the house at the time it started has been back for follow-up appointments. It's all very CSI.

And thanks for the good words about the kiddo.

Hugs back, Dena.

That's sweet, MHP. And the thing is, I know I can be a pain in the ass but when it comes to how I am with the guests in the House I KNOW I am not like these letters make me out. It's very mean just for the sake of being mean. That sucks.

Hugs to you, too, Sfoof. How's that back to work thing going for you?

Sling, exactly. An honest gripe I could handle. (I'd cry and be sad at my dereliction of duty but I could handle it). Haters suck.

I wish you would, Iwanski!

Thanks, Mom. People like this are never as smart as they think they are. He/she will slip up eventually.

March 25, 2010 7:44 AM  
Anonymous desertwind opined...

Does this mean you won't recap last night's Project Runway?


Take care & much love & hugs from a big fan

PS - your recaps go right behind Missy Schwartz & Tim Gunn & Chris March in my Friday AM PR-recaps copy/paste printout for mid-morning porch-sittin' coffee break!) I rarely comment, but do love your blog (and you).

March 26, 2010 10:56 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Desert wind, that is sooooo nice of you to say. Thank you. And the PR recaps will continue...not to worry!

March 26, 2010 12:09 PM  

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