Friday, December 12, 2008

Law and Disorder

Last night I was enjoying cocktails with The Neighbor, as we're wont to do, when I heard The Child hollering across the fence.

"MOM! MOM! Dad got robbed!"

Abandoning my drink, I flew home to find The Spouse, shaken and awaiting the cops.

Mercy, says you. What was he doing? Had he been down in Pioneer Square carousing and got himself rolled in a dark alley? Was he walking through the center of an unlit park where drug traffic is known to flourish? Was he loitering outside an abandoned building in the industrial district?

No. He was walking home from work and half a block from our house.

Two young men (one taller than The Spouse, the other shorter...both assholes) asked if he knew the time. (How stupid do you have to be to invite a mark to know the exact time of the commission of your crime, btw?) He obliged and kept walking, because that's the sort of thing you do in your own relatively safe neighborhood at 5:37pm on a weeknight. Next thing he knew they came up behind him and sorta surrounded him. They said they had a gun. They took his wallet, his cell and briefcase, then casually strolled off up the street as if nothing had happened.

Say it with me: "Bastards!"

The early part of our evening was spent giving the police a report (him) and cancelling bank cards and cell service (me). There was also some shaking and shuddering (mutual).

The middle part of the evening was spent being really frakking upset (him) and listening (me).

He did say that he was interested in some vengeance. I suggested that, while a reasonable response, perhaps he would be better served allowing the authorities to handle it. "What if I became a superhero first?"

"That would be ok then".

"I could wear a cape".

"No, no capes".

But mostly he was really, really pissed. This morning he is still really, really pissed. Of course he is. There are layers to it, you see. First is just the simple fact of the violation of YOUR neighborhood, YOUR freedom to just frakking walk home from work without being assaulted, coupled with the whole fearing-for-your-life thing that happens when someone takes your stuff after threatening you with a gun. Then there's the whole annoying business of being the one who has to do all the work of making calls and wasting time at the DMV to get a new license and spending time at work getting a new badge and all that. Because really, how is that possibly fair? Take my money, sure, but come on. You know I'm just going to cancel all my cards the second I'm able. You'll get nothing out of it and it'll be a headache for me so work with me here.

And then this morning there was another layer of annoyance as he realized that they got his lunch bag, his coffee mug and - and this really got him going again - his gloves and scarf.

Of course, there is good news in all this. First and foremost is that my husband wasn't injured or killed. Stuff is stuff. He'd be a little less easy to replace. Second, he is notoriously difficult to shop for; Christmas shopping will be a little easier this year. Third, he had left his iPod at work yesterday. If he wants, he can add today's Jukebox to his playlist. It suits his mood.

Bon Jovi "Wanted Dead or Alive"

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Anonymous Anonymous opined...

You already know my opinions on this matter, but to re-iterate: They are bastards. And we hate them.

December 12, 2008 7:41 AM  
Blogger Willym opined...

Yes they are bastards but as you say no physical harm was done to the Spouse and he is harder to replace than a celphone. Just glad that he has been harmed in anyway.

December 12, 2008 8:19 AM  
Blogger sageweb opined...

wow, I would never suspect someone to get robbed in their own neighborhood...unless it is on TV. I hope his nerves settle down and I am glad he is unharmed.

December 12, 2008 8:46 AM  
Blogger Buck opined...

I am so sorry this happened! That totally sucks.

After reading this, I removed my Social Security card from my wallet along with about 412 credit cards that I never use. I've been meaning to do that for the longest time.

BTW - I'm going to get him a cape for Christmas.

December 12, 2008 9:17 AM  
Blogger Sling opined...

Thank God The Spouse had the presence of mind to just give them the stuff,and send them on their way.
That's exactly the right thing to do under the circumstances.
I wonder if the cops can't track these little bastards with the cell phone?..they do that on TV anyway.

December 12, 2008 9:24 AM  
Blogger TWISI opined...

so glad to hear he is ok, like you said things are things.

and they are still bastards!

December 12, 2008 9:24 AM  
Blogger Doralong opined...

Glad he's OK, other than a rise in blood pressure!

December 12, 2008 9:40 AM  
Anonymous MN Fan opined...

Ditto with the bastards theme! I choose to believe they got three blocks away and were robbed! Poetic justice...would laugh my ass off!
Yes, things can be replaced...but the most valuable thing stolen will take the longest to replace and that is your sense of security and safety in your own neighborhood. Am so glad The Spouse was not physically harmed as well. Your right about the cape though, cause if you get the cape ya gotta wear the tights, walk around with your chest all puffed up...gonna get a backache...course we all know the dangers of capes thanks to The Incredibles...

December 12, 2008 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha (Note no w)

wow... The real value of your faith is to let it go into God's hands. Think not of vengenance.

Just another problem with a worsening economy and the lousy right wing attitude anything goes to get yours. Something I watch for all the time here downtown.

Give the spouse a headsup for me and a Peace, Love, Harmony and beautiful Thoughts too. Although knowing The Spouse he may not want to hear that last bit its important to remember the season and the why of the celebration.



December 12, 2008 10:08 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Stupid French bastards.

Me, too, Willym.

Sage, right? I mean, especially in a nice, quiet little neighborhood that's full of nice little families. Man, they really were frakking bastards!

Buck, I hear that! I don't carry that much but it would still be a drag. I think I'm going to start carrying my driver's license in my shoe.

Sling, I'm supposed to call the cell company later today for precisely that reason. We know when he was robbed and the bastards had about 20-30 minutes to use the phone before the service was suspended. I'm praying they were stoopid enough to make a couple of "Hey, homes, gotcher Christmas present" calls and then the cops can nail their skinny asses to the wall. Which, trust me, will be far more merciful than what The Spouse wants done.

Yep, Twisi. His well-being is the most important thing.

No kidding, Cuz. Myself, the old heart rate took about 2 hours and several glasses of vin rouge to return to something like normal.

MNF, wouldn't that have been totally the coolest? I did hear sirens a little later in the evening and was oh so hopeful it was the bastards in question. (And I'm glad you got the Incredibles reference...that was exactly where that little conversation of ours went).

December 12, 2008 10:58 AM  
Blogger Pamelamama opined...

Oh my! How awful! I'm glad he's ok!

December 12, 2008 1:04 PM  
Blogger Nicole M. Miller opined...

I'm so glad the Spouse is ok. And I'm so sorry the bastards were French.

December 12, 2008 1:32 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

That is just so damn awful. It makes me mad. It makes me want to fly to Seattle, ride around in the car with Eric until we see those guys, and then we crack their heads.

I don't know you had criminals in Seattle. They must have come in on a bus from Spokane.

I'm glad he was safe. Another annoying aspect of this case is that they probably did not have a gun, but who would want to find out? You don't want to dare these guys to prove it.

Most robberies are not armed robberies. Most are the kind where they knock you down and grab your stuff, or this type where they claim to have a weapon but it is never produced.

I wish we could call the bluff, though. I always joke with MHP that if a guy ever comes up to me and demands my wallet and says he has a gun, I'm going to say, "No, sorry. I need to see this gun." And then when he is unable to produce the gun, I'm going to beat him up and take HIS wallet and throw it in the river. MHP doesn't like it when I say that. That's okay. I talk a big game, but when actually faced with the situation, I'd probably cry like a little girl and poop myself. (That'll be my defense mechanism!)

I hope Eric can get through this situation without it affecting his optimism and faith in mankind.

December 12, 2008 2:08 PM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

Sucks....and in the hood....double sucks. I hope somehow the POS are caught. glad the spouse was not injured.

December 12, 2008 2:11 PM  
Blogger Anne opined...

Oh, man, my heart just dropped.

Blessings on you all.

December 12, 2008 3:43 PM  
Blogger Molly opined...

Oh dear, poor Fat Angus. That is just lousy. People are stupid. And yes, praise the Lord he was not hurt.

December 12, 2008 3:44 PM  
Blogger Random Thinker opined...

I'm glad he's OK and I hope they catch the SOB's.

December 12, 2008 3:52 PM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Wow--so glad he's okay!!!!

I had my wallet stolen once--although it was when I wasn't paying attention (my purse always goes on my lap now). So I know what you mean about the inconvenience of it all--what a pain to get a new license, cards, etc. It's amazing how much stuff you carry with you!

Anyway, again, I'm glad he's okay...

December 12, 2008 6:32 PM  
Anonymous Syd opined...

I am also one who's glad the Spouse lost only replaceable things. There must be something in the air, though, as I just found out one of my friends (not a WA resident) is in the midst of an ex-business partner-turned-psycho stalker mess.

Egad. Blessings all around...

December 12, 2008 6:39 PM  
Blogger The Idle Devil opined...

Bastards! The worst thing is to have to look over your shoulder on the next walk home.

December 12, 2008 7:57 PM  
Blogger Mom opined...

That is really scary. Stuff can be replaced, but it was his stuff and it is very inconvenient and frustrating to stop and replace all that stuff. glad he is ok, but still that is awful
Blessings on you all.

December 12, 2008 9:58 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You are all so wonderful. Blessings upon all your heads.

(And they weren't really French, Nicole. It's just something JP and I do).

Kisses to you all.

December 12, 2008 10:03 PM  
Blogger Nicole M. Miller opined...

I got that - I was just playing along.

December 12, 2008 11:13 PM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

I got here late, but I am so sorry and so glad he is okay. Times are so tough and people are so stupid. My hope, is that their mom's find out ----

December 13, 2008 7:04 AM  
Blogger Dena opined...

So glad the spouse is okay. What an aweful thing to have happen but as all have said it could very well have been far worse. How is the child taking all this? Must have been scary for her to think what could have happened to her Dad and in your own neighborhood. So sorry this happened to you guys.

December 13, 2008 8:08 AM  
Blogger Maine Gay opined...

I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm glad it was just stuff that was lost.

I vote for getting him a cape for Xmas, btw. Something blue and satiny and fabulous.

December 14, 2008 10:21 AM  
Blogger LostInColor opined...

Oh my goodness! GLad he is ok. And unbelieveable that it was in your neighborhood.

December 17, 2008 5:54 PM  

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