Near Death by Lumpia

I had a Parent Association Board meeting yesterday afternoon. It was a perfectly pleasant and productive meeting but it nearly killed me.

The couple that hosted the meeting are Filipinos. I don't know how many of you have the joy and privilege of knowing people from the Philippines but I know a lot of them. The Child's school is about 75% Filipino families and there's a sizable population of same at our church. Some of my best friends, as the saying goes, are Filipino (or filipina, depending). One of the marks of this particular culture, oh joy, is food. That is to be expected, of course. But it isn't just the preparation and serving of cultural delicacies like lumpia (skinny, little spring roll guys) and almond jell-o (trust me...yum). For Filipinos, feeding people is loving people. It's what you do. There is a crazy generosity to their feeding. Many is the time I have stood with my friend Stina in her kitchen before a party, looking at a table so crowded with food that you can't see the table cloth and she'll shake her head and say, "Do you think we have enough?"

Right. So I arrive at the party meeting yesterday. Alex is taking BBQ meatballs out of the oven. Monica is working on strawberry shortcake. She's already laid out the almond jell-o, little squares of white almondy bliss stirred up with tiny little bits of kiwi, mango and strawberry. There's fried chicken, a giant platter of lumpia (with 2 dipping sauces), puff pastry rounds stuffed variously with tomato and cheese or artichoke and cheese, chips, 2 kinds of wine.

And that's just what they provided. It was a potluck. Talk about carrying coals to Newcastle. I swear, the next time I'm invited to a Filipino potluck I'm bringing antacids.

We're waiting on some folks so we decide to start eating. I sampled one of the pastry guys and a little smidge of the pasta and pea salad I had foolishly brought. There was some Caesar salad but I opted for the almond jell-o stuff. (Mon says she'll score me some next time she's out...I've never seen it but with the plethora of Asian markets in town it's not a rare commodity). I had a couple of lumpia because, hello, they were there and I have never ever been known to pass up crisp deep-fried nuggets of joy. Especially when my favorite sweet chili dipping sauce is in abundance. I had some of the meatballs...tender, melting, the sweet and tangy BBQ sauce enrobing them with a glistening uh, robe. I had some white wine...it was a hot day.

My plate wasn't stacked. I was being selective, judicious. Prudent. I had a couple more lumpia. Because they were there.

And then we had the meeting. As we sat and discussed and planned and laughed, I began to undergo a change. The comfortable fullness that had been created by my flavorful and oh so carefully chosen lunch began to grow into something else all together. I found myself thankful that I'd worn my kicky top with its tummy hiding abilities. Then I realized that my skirt, which had hung quite nicely when I donned it, was becoming uncomfortably tight.

I left the meeting early.

I told The Spouse that under no circumstances was I cooking dinner.

I drank nothing but water and peppermint tea for 4 hours.

It is my sense that my stomach has returned to its natural, intended size but I don't expect to be hungry again for many hours to come. If it weren't for the fact that I have a date with a wizard today I would check myself into a spa. Pass the celery.