Monday, April 16, 2007

This Morning I Did the Tango. With a Chicken. Who Wore a Tuxedo.

The Parent Association is hosting an Easter dance and chili cook-off on Saturday. One of my comrades on the board has a chicken suit, for reasons he's never fully explained, and has become our de facto mascot. Whenever we need to promote something we slap him into the chicken suit and make him do stuff. This morning I dressed in my highest heels and a glittering evening dress, donned my superfantastic chandelier earrings (the ones The Neighbor gave me for my birthday last year) and drove The Child to school, looking every inch a czarina.

Monday morning starts with a prayer service, during which announcements for the week are made. So the chicken and I arranged with The Principal for some promo time. She introduced some "special guests" and Chicken Man and I did the tango from the back of the room to the microphone. Laughter ensued. I don't know why.

Chicken Man and I have a new motto: Join the Parent Club Board: lose your dignity, support your school.

Now I'm still all dressed up, because I had to make the rounds in Blogtopia and figured y'all deserved a little dose of extra glamour on this cloudy Monday morning. But I have to change now because I am not going to be able to mop the kitchen or weed the garden looking this fine.

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of buying our house. Totally forgot to celebrate.

The Spouse changed my email address for me this weekend. For the second time in a week. I was loathe to give up my very clever and entertaining email handle but could no longer bear getting 412 spam messages a day. I don't need any pharmecueticals. If I was going to refinance my house, it wouldn't be from a cold call email. Also, I have absolutely no use whatsover for a penile enhancement. It was just time to shut down Babbington K. Squidly, the International RX and all the other little spambots.

It was very nice, consequently, to wake up to a virtually empty inbox.

The Child and I were watching The Food Network Awards last night (I know, I's like that scene in "Annie Hall" where Woody Allen raves about LA saying "They do nothing but give out awards. I can't believe it. Greatest Fascist Dictator - Adolf Hitler!") Anyway, Catherine Zeta-Jones has a new movie coming out, a remake of the terrific film "Mostly Martha". Which didn't need to be remade, btw, but since it's a foreign film I guess it was fair game. Anyhoo, it looks yummy. I like movies about food.

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Blogger Jon opined...

This world would be a much better place if everyone began their day dancing with a man in a chicken suit.
That's what I always say, anyway.

April 16, 2007 11:00 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

If you were a man I'd say you had...well something...for dressing in FM pumps and dangley earrings...then dancing in public with a chicken. Gardening in heels could actually help to aerate the soil and make cute little seed holes.

April 16, 2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You are wise, Jon.

Rosie, I'm liking the idea of heels as aerators. Yesterday I was wearing some gold flats while weeding (hadn't actually intended to be weeding, just leaned over to yank one know how it goes). The Spouse said, "Awww, you're weeding in princess shoes".

April 16, 2007 11:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Great headline today. As always.
Can't wait to see the movie
you mentioned.

April 16, 2007 1:54 PM  
Blogger Seattle Coffee Girl opined...

Is it just me, or are you frustrated with the way Hollywood assumes the majority of Americans are too stupid to see foreign films (all that reading really blows, don't it)? If I have to see another excellent foreign film re-interpreted as an "American experience," I'm going to scream! ENOUGH with that already!

I've gotta think there are enough under-employed screenwriters in the U.S. who would kill for the chance to help drive a little bit of originality in cinema. Why do we need to recycle a great German film into a star vehicle for a cosmetics and cell phone spokesperson?

Okay, apparently I have a case of the Monday crankies. I'll sign off now...

April 16, 2007 2:10 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Thanks, Anon. I hope the remake is as good as the original.

And that said, SCG, I feel your pain. But let's be a little more kind toward Ms. Z-J (who I happen to like quite a lot). It's not her fault that there are no original ideas in Hollywood.

Is that baby misbehaving today? Tell him to stop it or Auntie will not give him candy sometime when I have it and he asks for it (ever so nicely, because he'll be a proper young lad) and I'll say, "NO! On April 16 you made your mama cranky. Now go make her a mosaic out of macaroni". Or something like that.

April 16, 2007 3:52 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric opined...

You changed your e-mail address? Then you probably missed that bit I sent you about the nuns and the Hallelujah Chorus.

Oh, and LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE -- best foodie movie ever.

April 16, 2007 6:10 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Missed it I did, Red. I'll ping you with the new one. You know how I like my nuns.

Re: H20 for Chocolate...I liked the book better. Other favorite food movies are "Tortilla Soup" and "Babette's Feast". And probably other's I can't think of right now.

April 16, 2007 6:25 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

You know,I think that once a week we should all get spiffed up and attend to the blogosphere...It's the civilzed thing to do!..

April 16, 2007 7:26 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

I agree! Web cams all around! Black tie, decollatage, champagne, gift baskets...this is gonna be hot!

April 16, 2007 7:36 PM  
Blogger Dana opined...

Babette's Feast...what a beautiful film! So much truth in it as well.

And I remember reading Like Water for Chocolate, thinking I would add chili to anything I ever made with chocolate. Now, not so much.

April 16, 2007 8:09 PM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

sounds fun!

April 17, 2007 7:51 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

It was fun, Mouse. I recommend it.

Dana, I have a friend in religious education who always uses "Babette's Feast" to illustrate the concept of grace. As for chili and chocolate, I am a fan of mole sauce. What I really want to do is make hot chocolate with chili, like in "Chocolat". Ooh, there's another food movie!

April 17, 2007 10:58 AM  

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