I've Got this Bridge in Brooklyn...

It is inevitable that one dreams big for one's child. You imagine her becoming a doctor or President (yes, please) or being the first human to walk on Mars. Maybe she'll write the Great American Novel or become a renowned actress, like her grandmother, Dame Judi. But just like people who say they were Queen Elizabeth in a past life, but not a peasant who died of plague, you never imagine your child doing anything mundane. She might grow up to be a fine teacher or a chef in her own restaurant (with 2 different programs - at least - on the Food Network), but she won't be managing a Burger King or handing out parking tickets from a little cart.

The Child has her own life plan. She wants to be a veterinarian, an astronaut, a teacher and mother of five. And I, as her mother, like to think that if anyone could manage all those things, it would be her. When I look at her gifts and talents I suspect she will grow up to do something in the arts. Or, because of her profound gift for debate, she could become (gasp) a lawyer. But sometimes I lie in bed at night and think that what she'll end up in is sales.

She did not get this from me. I think I told you the story about being threatened with an F by the yearbook teacher unless I sold 3 ads. I was the only one on the staff who hadn't yet done so and it killed me to do it. (I somehow talked her into just selling 2 and those were to my church and the bank that gave me a student loan for college. And it still took all I had to do that).

When The Child started school we entered the world of fundraising. Every school in the US has to do this, public and private. (The obvious issues this raises may be addressed in another post. Or not). In the parochial system (ours anyway), parents sign a contract and are on the hook for a set amount of fundraising every year. If they don't raise x amount of dollars through various sales and auctions and such, they have to pay the difference at the end of the year. It's how the schools keep tuition manageable. It's part of the deal and I'm fine with it.

But I hate stuff like gift wrap sales, magazine subscription drives and the like. You can only go to the well so many times and I have a strict rule that The Child can't solicit donations from anyone who has a kid of their own in school (which also frees me from having to buy the crap their school is selling). So when we make our fundraising elections every year, I go for the big money makers that aren't morally objectionable to me, specifically the jog-a-thon and the auction. Between her jog pledges and my auction procurements, we can hit our nut.

But as I mentioned, The Child loves to sell stuff. She was very happy when, in 2nd or 3rd grade, I gave in to her pleading and let her sell gift wrap. I held the line for the next several years but she begged to do the candy sale this year. I ordered the minimum amount of candy and let her at it.

The sale started on Friday and she's almost out of goods. She's moving chocolate like a tsunami. She's selling chocolate to kids who are selling chocolate. And between this and the jog-a-thon, we've hit our nut, with nary a lick of trouble on my part. Gotta love that. So mommy learns yet another lesson: I might hate sales and therefore hate the notion of anyone having to sell something. But when your child has a gift, you have to encourage them. Caramel Whirls, anyone?