Sunday, October 22, 2006

More Smug Tips for Superfantastic Entertaining

Your goal in entertaining is to see to the comfort of your guests for the length of time that they are under your roof (I'm paraphrasing Brillat-Savarin). Being a nervous, fussy host or hostess is not the way to achieve this. Making your guests comfortable does not mean, however, that everything must be "perfect". Perfection is a silly aim.

Here's an example. Once upon a time, at Christmas, I had set a very beautiful, yea verily, elaborate table. There was an ego-gratifying degree of oohing and aahing as we sat down to eat. The first course was served and someone, Britton I believe it was, said gently, "Do we need silverware?" Was I mortified and did I make a gigantic, apologetic fuss over my negligence? No. I made a forgettable joke, laughed and got the silverware. And then I just handed it around rather than holding up the meal to set each place just so. Because the soup was on.

Little things will go wrong in the course of an evening. You can get all upset and make everyone uncomfortable with your hissyfit or you can gamely compensate and move on. And being uncomfortable with the perception that I'm somehow an expert in all this, here's a list of all the things that "went wrong" last night and why it was no big deal:

1) The amuse bouche had been baked, per the recipe, but I didn't like the look of it. There were enough extra bits for a taste test and sure enough, the flavor was fine but the texture not so much.

Why This Was No Big Deal: I trust my instincts. Recipes are guidelines, not absolute and sacred texts. Baked wontons wasn't working so just before serving I tossed the little beggers into a pot of boiling water. They softened up nicely and were delicious.

2) The chicken was supposed to have a sauce, which pretty much disappeared during baking and 3) Each serving was supposed to be topped with bleu cheese but I forgot.

Why Neither of These Things Was a Big Deal: The chicken was delicous and perfectly cooked. The pears and things accompanied it very nicely. A port sauce and the bleu cheese would have been terrific and I know what to do to the recipe next time to make sure there is sauce but it would have been ridiculous to hold up the meal over them. In short, if things don't turn out exactly the way you intended, do not call attention to it by leaping up to making sandwiches for everyone because "dinner is ruined". And if dinner really is ruined, smile sweetly, order pizza and pour some more wine while you wait for the delivery boy.

5) The rice dish wasn't nearly as flavorful as I had intended it to be.

Why This Was No Big Deal: It's just rice.

4) I have issues with caramel. I don't know why. I could make it just fine in our apartment but somehow, in this house, it is very hit and miss. This time around I was actually successful in making the caramel sauce (with The Cardinal at my side, rendering encouragement and Latin prayers) but a couple hours later, when it was time to serve, it had hardened. The sauceboat basically contained one giant slab of praline.

Why This was No Big Deal: I don't need to do everything myself. (Don't you just hate a hostess who won't let you help when you offer? I mean, sure, if everything is done it's fine but when she's still slaving around the kitchen and you offer but she says "no" because somehow if you help then she hasn't done it? I hate that.) I already had The Child busy making whipping cream (because that is what children are for) so I called upon The Cardinal, a fine cook in his own right, and allowed him to be a hero. Which he was with the combined superpowers of microwave, a pan of warm water and a little more cream. And let me tell you, a little more cream never hurt anyone.

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