Extra Credit
Yesterday afternoon was, I confess, an exercise in the-best-laid-plans phenomenon. I knew it would be a little nutty and was prepared for it. But then, well, this is how I summed it up, in an email to Jon:
I am about ready to take my child by her neck and wring it. She was late coming out of study hall, to the point that I had to go looking all over school for her (because she did her study hall in her classroom, not in study hall proper) and by the time we actually got to the car it was too damn late to try and get across town for choir so we came home and I called her in absent to choir and then she realized she left her math book at school, which means she'll have a missing assignment report which means she'll lose tv privileges for a week so she spent 15 minutes crying about it instead of doing the other work she has and we have to leave in 40 fracking minutes for her volleyball game. And J is coming to pick up Trudy which means that The Child will feel compelled to get up and dance around when she arrives. Oh, and did I mention she needs a pomegranate for school tomorrow?
Hello? Who needs a cocktail?
This apparently made Jon laugh. That's what I'm here for.
So this bloody pomegranate thing. The 7th grade has been reading myths and folklore, in a run up to the big book of the trimester, The Hobbit. After reading the myth of Persephone the teacher said that anyone who brought a pomegrantate to class would get extra credit. Query: do teachers not realize that assignments like this are not assignments for the children, but for the parents? Tell them to find a picture of a pomegranate on the Internet or to make a papier mache pomegranate (that could be kinda cool). Have them write a cinquain poem about bloody pomegranates but giving a kid one day to bring an out-of-season fruit to school is not the way to engender the good will of people who you need to chaperone your field trips.
Right. So I check at the co-op. They don't have any. We go to the game. We have to wait for the first group to finish up so I go to the Safeway right by the community center. No pomegranates. Why would there be? We see pomegranates in the winter, usually around Christmas time.
On the way home The Child suggests we check some other stores. "It's nearly 8pm, I'm hungry and you still have homework," I said, rather unsympathetically. "Let's hope you're doing good work in lit already. Besides," I add, "this isn't even pomegranate season".
"I know," she answered blithely, "that's why it's extra credit". (Silently I sneer, "Mr. R., I got your extra credit right here".)
There's a funky produce stand on our way home and The Child sees that the lights are still on. We stop. They have pomegranates for $1.89 each. I have $2. She buys the bloody thing and I instruct her to put it immediately in her backpack the second we get home because I know that if she manages to leave it behind I will not be pleased.
Btw, one of her team-mates had her math book with her so The Child was able to photocopy her assignment and get it done. No missing assignment AND she had a pomegranate to turn in. Huzzah, huzzah. But shouldn't I be the one who gets the extra credit?
There is something that mitigates any residual frustration I may feel from yesterday, which is, of course, the premiere of "Battlestar Galactica" in just a little less than 8 hours. I have a plan.
I am about ready to take my child by her neck and wring it. She was late coming out of study hall, to the point that I had to go looking all over school for her (because she did her study hall in her classroom, not in study hall proper) and by the time we actually got to the car it was too damn late to try and get across town for choir so we came home and I called her in absent to choir and then she realized she left her math book at school, which means she'll have a missing assignment report which means she'll lose tv privileges for a week so she spent 15 minutes crying about it instead of doing the other work she has and we have to leave in 40 fracking minutes for her volleyball game. And J is coming to pick up Trudy which means that The Child will feel compelled to get up and dance around when she arrives. Oh, and did I mention she needs a pomegranate for school tomorrow?
Hello? Who needs a cocktail?
This apparently made Jon laugh. That's what I'm here for.
So this bloody pomegranate thing. The 7th grade has been reading myths and folklore, in a run up to the big book of the trimester, The Hobbit. After reading the myth of Persephone the teacher said that anyone who brought a pomegrantate to class would get extra credit. Query: do teachers not realize that assignments like this are not assignments for the children, but for the parents? Tell them to find a picture of a pomegranate on the Internet or to make a papier mache pomegranate (that could be kinda cool). Have them write a cinquain poem about bloody pomegranates but giving a kid one day to bring an out-of-season fruit to school is not the way to engender the good will of people who you need to chaperone your field trips.
Right. So I check at the co-op. They don't have any. We go to the game. We have to wait for the first group to finish up so I go to the Safeway right by the community center. No pomegranates. Why would there be? We see pomegranates in the winter, usually around Christmas time.
On the way home The Child suggests we check some other stores. "It's nearly 8pm, I'm hungry and you still have homework," I said, rather unsympathetically. "Let's hope you're doing good work in lit already. Besides," I add, "this isn't even pomegranate season".
"I know," she answered blithely, "that's why it's extra credit". (Silently I sneer, "Mr. R., I got your extra credit right here".)
There's a funky produce stand on our way home and The Child sees that the lights are still on. We stop. They have pomegranates for $1.89 each. I have $2. She buys the bloody thing and I instruct her to put it immediately in her backpack the second we get home because I know that if she manages to leave it behind I will not be pleased.
Btw, one of her team-mates had her math book with her so The Child was able to photocopy her assignment and get it done. No missing assignment AND she had a pomegranate to turn in. Huzzah, huzzah. But shouldn't I be the one who gets the extra credit?
There is something that mitigates any residual frustration I may feel from yesterday, which is, of course, the premiere of "Battlestar Galactica" in just a little less than 8 hours. I have a plan.
Labels: Battlestar Galactica, cocktails, making this up as I go along, pomegranates, volleyball
cobbled together by Moi at 12:42 PM
13 Comments:
I have received your transmission with the copy of the plan. I have reviewed the plan, made a few notes, and retransmitted the plan back to you. My portion of the plan is going to start 2 hours before your portion of the plan, so I will not discuss the plan via blog or email until you have completed your portion of the plan. So say we all.
This comment will self-destruct.
BTW honey there is a special on the History channel on Brocolli that I wish to watch and tape. it starts at 9
Remember I told you that you would miss these times?(well maybe you won't) what I didn't tell you is you will not miss the frustration brought on by teachers who assign extra credit for out of season fruit! And you were right it is homework for the parents.
JP: I appreciate the restraint you are showing. Good hunting.
Spouse: You can watch the broccoli special with The Child in the bedroom. I don't have time to get to Omaha now so I'll have to watch on the BAT. Deal with it.
Dena: Yes, I remember and frankly, as I was questing for pomegranates yesterday I thought, "I know this isn't what Dena meant".
Did you ever hear the story about how one pomegranate in William's hands had me ordering all new couch cushion covers?
The said pomegranate had been a gift to his father who had then left it on the table.
Hopefully the pomegranate didn't explode in the backpack.
They are an absolute *expletive* to clean up.
i am so not ready for this!
(luckily i can read up and take notes from your blog. you are very inspiring with all your menu planning, activities, etc)
two points to your hometeam!
Covers ears as to block any and all Battlestar Galactica talk until I can watch my Tivoed version later tonight...
Btw if Eric's brocolli special interupts your BSG watching, we have a big screen down here primed and ready to go...:P
Renee: Ouch. Redecorating by pomegranate. Fortunately, it did arrive at school intact. Whenever The Child or I eat one we do it over the sink, in old clothes. They are a mess.
Mgarden, Aw, sure you're up to it, it's all smoke and mirrors. In fact, you can get a nice starter set of Parenting Smoke & Mirrors at my new website: I'mMakingThisUpAsIGoAlong.com.
Grish, Are you making jell-o shots?
Jello shots it is...
LOL- loved this post and think Mum deserves a GOLD STAR!!!!!
I would, with my best passive-aggressive smile pasted across the bottom of my face, let Mr. R. know what a terrible idea that extra credit assignment was. Seriously. He might not have realized it, especially if he has no children of his own, and he might pull something like that again.
The last thing you want is for your wedding band to go missing during the segment on The Hobbit. ("Five extra points for anyone who brings me a precious!")
I have another question about the pomegranate: What the hell is the teacher going to DO with damn thing?
Charlie, I do like pomagranates very much. It's like eating garnets, without the whole cutting-up-your-insides-and-dying-of-internal-bleeding thing.
Thank you, Horizon, I think I deserve a gold star, too. And a cocktail. With pomegranate juice. Cheers!
LA: Oh. My. Gosh. I so did not think of that. And Mr. R. does have a kid but it is of the extremely small variety. Perhaps I should explain to him about karma.
Jon, Apparently they are going to eat them on Monday. (It was a short day yesterday). I still think your cocktail idea is better. Although, not for 7th graders.
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