The Neighbor, Part Deux: Men

NOTE: The following is being published with the full knowlege and permission of The Neighbor.

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The Neighbor is divorced because her husband didn't put the same premium on monogamy that she did. 'Nuff said.

She has dated a few men over the years, some keepers, some not. J, we thought, seemed to be The One. We all loved him. But he lived on the other coast and neither of them was ready to make a big move. He began insisting they be together for things to work, she wanted to give it time. They broke up and it was sad. I remain convinced that a great deal of his urgency owed to the fact that she was still close to an ex-boyfriend (who was never more attentive then when she found someone else).

I'll not say much about the ex-boyfriend because a) I never liked him and 2) she did. Agree to disagree. Although when The Neighbor finally broke up with him once and for all she did it for all the right reasons. But since she broke up with him there has been no one of consequence, which makes a girl wonder if she did the right thing. Especially when said girl really would prefer to share the rest of her life with someone.

Here's what you have to know about The Neighbor:

1) She is not bitter or carrying around a lot of baggage. That is not her nature. She sometimes gets varklempt about her singleton status but she is not by nature a morose person. She doesn't sit around sticking pins in a doll that looks like her ex-husband. She doesn't mope. She doesn't hate men because of the ones who done her wrong.

2) She's beautiful. She is stylish. She wears groovy glasses. She wants to lose some weight (don't we all) but you would never look at her and think that she's fat or unfit or anything remotely like that. She is smart, creative (she's a designer by trade) and funny. She loves art, film, all kinds of music and is probably a little too addicted to Spider Solitaire. She is as comfortable hiking or skiing as she is hosting a dinner party. She has a very generous nature and a kind heart. She sings.

3) She is Catholic. Her faith runs deep and is important to her but she is not a pious prig.

4) She is a Democrat. She wouldn't be caught dead voting for anything remotely smacking of the Republican agenda.

Facts 3 and 4 are important because of what's been going on recently. After some months she decided to sign up for eHarmony. (She's tried online dating before but obviously nothing stuck). This particular service is predicated on a process that should filter out anyone who isn't a good match to begin with so by the time you meet you are already on the same page. Ah, theories. She has had 2 matches so far. The first one "closed the encounter", as they euphemistically put it on the site, because he was Protestant and couldn't handle her being RC. Match #2 bailed because he was a "libertarian tending toward Republican" and wasn't an agree to disagree kind of guy.

Now, you're saying, "Good riddance! A wonderful, stunning woman such as you've described to me shouldn't have to put up with anyone less than fabulous, which clearly neither of these men were". And of course you'd be right.

But that's cold comfort. The Neighbor wants a relationship, is open to the possibilities and here she's shut down because of her religion and her politics. Which sucks. Also, I think she's growing weary of the process. I mean, how do you meet a good man these days? (Trust me, if I were suddenly single again I don't think I would even bother. I was in the group of women who were told we had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married after 30. Looks like those odds haven't changed much. So glad I already have that Steve Martin thing on the hook).

And there's age. She's 54, which isn't old, but where do you meet a man "of a certain age" who is old enough to offer you the level of maturity you desire but not so old (at least in his mind) that you feel like you're taking grandpa to the early bird special at King's Table? How does a beautiful woman in her 50's find someone willing to give her a chance, given that most men that age have had their share of interactions with "women with issues" and out of self-preservation start thinking all women are like that?

Unfortunately, all the men we know are married, too young or gay. So we are worthless for making introductions. (I swear, nothing would delight me more than to meet some great guy while volunteering or in the check out line or whatever, get to know him, have the two of them to dinner and watch the magic happen only to have them wed 3 months later with me as matron of honor because, you know, I hooked them up. Seriously. NOTHING would make me happier).

The other day we were talking about the latest loser and the idea ocurred that maybe someone in Blogtopia knows someone. Maybe they even know someone who lives around these parts. So here's what we're looking for:

Age: late 40's to maybe 60 (which is only old if he thinks and acts like it is).

Looks: Of course they matter. Who are we kidding? He needs to be 5'8 (her height) or taller and not overly overweight. It wouldn't hurt if he was somewhat metrosexual...or at least knows that dress for the opera is not the same as dress for burgers at the pub.

He needs to be literate, gainfully employed and a nice person. And since we're shooting for the moon here, he needs to be straight, Catholic and Democrat. He does not have to be perfect. He just has to be open to the possibilities with a beautiful, vibrant woman who has weathered the hard bits of life without it hardening her spirit. She's not perfect either, although, I'm hard pressed to think of anything at the moment. Ok, she could do a better job of organizing her desk at home. It's a mess. But otherwise, he'd be getting quite a prize. He only has to be willing.

Anyone? Anyone? Is this thing on?